Grief

[Ruth1e]

I lost my husband on the 3rd December 2024 after a battle against dementia for 5 years.

I knew this day would come but the pain of losing my husband is unbelievable and i never expected this.

I had been saying goodbye to my husband almost every day for the last 18 months as he forgot me.

I really do not know how to deal with this and do not want to put this onto my family.

[Seaneen]

I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband, @Ruth1e - that is devastating. I just wanted to connect you with @Dingwall who posted a thread yesterday about her husband who also died from dementia:

Loss of my husband who had dementia

My lovely husband of nearly 60 years died in June having suffered with dementia for six years. I was lucky that he remained calm and very kind. I was worried that I was still so tearful after six months, but having read other comments about this, feel reassured that I’m quite normal. I am finding it really difficult to remember him as he was before he had dementia and I’m grieving over those lost years too. I wonder if anyone else is in this position.

I hope you find the community to be a support to you - you are not alone.

Take care,
Seaneen

[Ruth1e]

Thank you, how blessed you were 60 years.

J and I had almost 25 years.

I am finding things extremely hard, I also lost my son 8years ago, he was only 30.

I find it hard to recall good times at the moment as J did not know me for the last 18 months and was aggressive in the last 6 months.

I know there are lots of good times to remember but just finding it so hard.

Thank you

[harvest1]

Hi Ruth i am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my partner back on October after years of battling with various health problems. I have found by keeping a journal in which i write to her every day telling her about my feelings and what i have done that day has given me some comfort. I also talk about our memories we have shared over the years. I still talk to her each day and have out together a photo album of our memories over the years from when we met and have a table with pictures of me and her with a lit candle every day. I find doing these things gives me some purpose and keeps her close to me, i hope you have the strength to get through this painful time in your life

[Ruth1e]

What a lovely idea
Thank you

[Jobrown]

I am so sad for you. Lost my husband in Oct 2024 after a 2 year battle with cancer which diminished him. I have started counselling at our local hospice which has been so helpful. The counsellor helped me see that the last 2 years have been a battle in which i defended him like a tigress. She is helping me let go of the battle so that i can find peace. I hope you find peace too