I keep reading guilt is part of the grieving process. And it’s a step/process you must go through in order to grieve properly
Really struggling with this as I don’t think I have any guilt or anything to feel guilty for.
Im probably over thinking it but does this mean I’ll never grieve properly or will it appear one day.
What has anyone else felt guilty about in the grieving process??
Perhaps you have nothing to feel guilty about. I feel guilty about not being strong enough to be by his side at the end. I found my last visit to the hospital very traumatic but thought I had more time to visit again. It can be survivors guilt that it is not you. What is right for one is not right for all. Xx
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@sah28 I had a lot of fear about grieving properly as well. I had never lost a wife before and I had never experienced this type of grief. I was worried that if I didn’t experience grief in the ‘correct’ way that I would carry it forever and it would psychologically damage me. But since then I have realised that there is no ‘correct’ way to experience grief. There are common experiences that we all might encounter, these appear in a random way dependent on the person. Guilt is often a part of the grief process but not always. I felt guilt for a time as all I could remember were all the bad times in our relationship, I still don’t know why this happened, we had very many more times good than bad. It eventually moved away and now I recall those happier times. Please keep talking on here if you have any worries, its always beneficial to try and understand what you are experiencing
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I often worry myself that I’m not grieving enough or something will hit me out of the blue at any given moment because at the moment my life is on an even keel and I feel guilty about that too. I guess there is no normal way to deal with this, we are all individuals managing as best we can but I do appreciate the days I am numb to it all. 7 months on the 29th but I now have a lot of things coming up for me and it’s going into winter which I struggle with anyway, without this grief, so I know I could feel very different in the months to come. But right now, I’ll take the even keel.
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@Sah 28 I don’t think everyone feels guilt, nor is it necessary to feel it. Everyone’s experience is going to be unique to them and their situation. I felt guilty that I was still here to see my little grandson grow up and Alan would not be able to do that. That guilt is slowly subsiding as there is nothing I can do about it and my grandson is one of the things that keeps me going, along with my two sons.
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I feel gulity for being here and he isnt its 5 weeks so early days for me i even felt guilty eating anything in the beginning too x
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I never felt guilty for being here, someone had to be here still we have a 11 year old with autism. 15 weeks here. I guess we all process and feel differently 
Yeah I keep getting told there’s 7 stages?? Guilt being one!!
Anger is another one. I haven’t felt anger at all. I’m sure lots of people do, but again it must depend hugely on your situation. I’m not convinced at all about the 7 stages.
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Guilt is only one of the “possible” stages of grief, but as others have said, it’s not necessarily a required stage.
The stages of grief are attributed to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her book On Death and Dying after her work in the hospice movement. Apparently she never said they were stages that all needed to be completed in order or at all, but her publisher wanted something linear that made for better reading, and the misconception has been with us ever since.
In my limited experience of only grieving for one person, there is no process as such. So far after 3 months I’ve only really felt sadness. No guilt, only a tiny bit of anger, zero denial, and no bargaining. And some days I feel I’m getting better and the next day I’m back to square one. I’ve given up trying to analyse too much or to expect any smooth progression and just try to let my feelings and emotions come out as they need to. I’m trying to trust that somewhere inside me knows what I need and let it do it’s thing regardless of whether that’s what others experience or expect.
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Hi cadge its been over 10months
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Maybe you have no reason to feel guilty. Everyone grief is unique to them. I feel guilty because I never noticed that my husband lost weight and was so poorly. The seven stages of grief came from people experience terminal illness and knew that they were dying. Not everyone experience the seven stages of grief in the order that they say. Grief to me is like a roller coaster and a wound that won’t heal but will have to live along aside it. Xx
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Sorry for your loss how are you doing 10 months in ?
It’s been over 10months now since my wife passed away and yes i still feel guilty that she is not with me my darling wife died suddenly in my arms in the bathroom she was 66years old i feel so guilty that i let this happen i still can’t go in any shops or towns that we went to together it’s so upsetting i looked after her for over 44 years but let her down in the end i fell in love with her everyday of the year for 44years i cannot believe that she is no longer with me to experience things i do places i visit i feel so guilty that i let this happen
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I’ve had anger at him for leaving us (he didn’t do it by choice sudden and no explanation why still)
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Im sure you didnt let her down bill i felt the same having to do cpr kept asking myself did i do enough. Im only 48 feel so alone without him 
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Im also angry he left me too i know he couldnt help it but i still feel like i need to blame someone 
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Yes I blame him but deep down I know it’s not his fault but I need to blame someone sometimes
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I think it’s a very hard emotional process
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Its very hard 
its just so unfair i really hope hes there when its my time x
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