Harder each day

I get letters taking my husband name of stuff and it feels like I’m deleting him bit by bit and more and more of him is disappearing and i hate it and nearly 5 weeks and i have no routine and i sit and do nothing for hours at a time. Or play stupid games on my phone just to make the day go faster and then it’s bedtime and yet another day :sleeping: i have family and my son so I’m lucky to have them around me and yet I’m still lonely and missing my man so much and still having to wait for answers. But still not bringing him back to us. Fed up feeling sad fed up with crying :cry: fed up with it all and my life was hard at times :broken_heart: but now it’s horrible just horrible :broken_heart:

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Nearly 6 weeks for me. I know just what you mean about deleting him bit by bit. It is poo. I also do a lot of sitting around, mostly feeling sorry for myself. Today I was looking at bereavement sites and one of them suggested writing a letter of gratitude to your partner, saying thank you for all the things that made your life better with them. It also suggested thinking of three things each day to be thankful for, whether that was a friend, a nice meal or anything else good in life. I felt a bit silly, but I was on my own, so I tried it. It did make me feel better. It was a welcome change from concentrating on all the bad things. I am not saying that it will work for everyone, or that it will work for me tomorrow, but I am up for anything that will make these bloody tears stop, just for a little while. Xx

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Willow well done for trying it. Anything that makes us feel a bit better is worth a go.
Like you both I hate taking my husbands name off things. It makes me feel awful. Changing the car from his name to mine was really bad. It really hurts to think of him being removed from all these things. I’m glad you both mentioned it because I thought it was just me.

Yes it does feel horrible getting his name taken off of things.
I am still working my way through accounts etc and find I build myself up to letting companies know he has passed and inevitably they get it wrong and his name stays - or my latest bank account is named myself & “the late Mr M… “
Don’t even know why they would do that.

Like willow suggests try different things to help you through the day. I’ve tried websites, books, podcasts, journaling, puzzles, new activities, crochet. The list is endless.
When one thing doesn’t work any more I try something else. It doesn’t take away the pain but anything that can hold your attention for a while to give you a respite from the pain is good in my eyes.

Make sure you look after yourself
Sending some strength and hugs xx

I am a bit of a dick sometimes! I looked at ‘meditation for grief’ and tried that. Then ‘yoga for grief’, that gave me cramp in both legs. I think any white cockerels or goats need to be very wary of me at midnight because I am up for anything that might help! Someone has suggested Tai Chi so I am enrolling for that next week. I don’t really know what it is! I started to get nervous about it until my son explained that I was getting it confused with Taekwondo, apparently that is a martial art. Buggered if I know!

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You made me laugh!

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Good! We all need a laugh now and then! Too many tears. Xx

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Made me laugh too. Thanks for that.

Reminded me of a few weeks ago and my planning to do the gardening with my headtorch in the dark :blush:

That’s the best time to catch slugs and snails, especially if it has rained. But you do run the risk of being arrested and charged with something dubious. Dogging, I believe, though what business it is of anybody else what time to choose to walk your dog is beyond me.

You could try some ‘Grief Tai Chi ‘ in the dark ?
Maybe something for your widoworld island
:rofl:

Haha! I will have to get irridescent clothing for this. It will become widoworld uniform.
I hope it doesn’t put anyone off from joining us.

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Yeah taking my husband of everything is really difficult but lucky my family did most of it and the car us my biggest problem because i don’t want anyone else driving it and i don’t drive and i wasted to keep tue number plates because it’s taken us on some amazing days out and holidays and my husband was an excellent driver and I’m told if i scrap it it doesn’t mean the person I sell it to will scrap it. I also try and do different things to take my mind off thinking about him. Last night got myself in a mess thinking about Christmas and yet i have to get through our 5th anniversary :sleepy: and it’s all so horrible and sad x

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Like u I feel like the day no longer flies in but it’s like living in slow motion…it’s a rubbish situation to be in, and a club that nobody wants to be in…my heart breaks for you I am struggling to, all u can do is a day at a time…give your self time to grieve,

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My gorgeous beautiful wife sue passed away on 1st February last year. Sometimes I just want to give up and be with sue.but she made me promise to carry on fighting for life and I will not break the promise I made .plus Teddy n George our two dogs need there dad and my daughter aderlaide and stepson dave plus family are really supportive and my biker friends are making me realise that sue needs me to carry on honouring her memories

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My husband died not even 5 weeks ago and had funeral but no one knows why he went into cardiac arrest and it will take 3 to 4 months to find out and then i can register his death and the nightmare just keeps going on and on. But my son lives with me and I have to fight for him and the rest of my family. But each day is like hell and i have health problems and that don’t help. But i know he would want me to fight for our son and i know it will be hard to keep going and everyday feels longer than normal and I’m not sure how to live at the minute. It’s nice that people on here really understand.

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I’m so sorry. Just try and remember that you aren’t deleting anything- everything is safely tucked away in your heart and soul. The love, the memories, the influence he had on the person you are today are all there. They might not be tangible like letters but it’s all there.
My mum died 10 years ago and I have hardly any physical things to remember her by. But when I do something like her I remember she taught me this or that or that I think a particular way because she did and that’s how she’s living on… that’s what is left. I find this helps me. Think of all the ways he lives on in you and that may help.
Hugs xx

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Judy10.can i suggest learning to drive this way you can keep the memories of trips you had together.just an idea to mull over.apologies if I have upset you at all

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Like u I lost my partner of 16 years 17th may suddenly to undiagnosed cancer…
Thursday he was admitted to hospital with a calf strain…he had 2 brain tumors, lymph node and 100 tumors in his lungs… like u I feel like the days go slower,
I long for night even though I don’t sleep, no one else understands as to be robbed of a life…that quick…I take it a day at a time and that’s all u can do make sure you look after you as he would not want you to suffer.
My comfort only comfort is my daughter and know that my partner was not the type that could have handled a slow horrible passing…he was really manly…his death was quick pain free and I will forever be grateful for that…
I know I will see him again… like your love u will reunite… just not yet :heart::sparkling_heart::blue_heart:

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7 weeks today my husband went into hospital and died 5 weeks and one day ago and im struggling :cry: got his ashes back today :broken_heart: that broke my heart and it’s hard to remember his voice and it feels like he is slipping away :broken_heart: I’m glad my husband didn’t suffer and he also couldn’t cope with a long illness. I feel for you all and I’ve lost so many good people in my life :broken_heart: but my soulmate my world my everything has gone since my husband died :broken_heart: love and hugs to you all.

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Hello all, i lost my partner of 14 years 3 weeks ago, his funeral was last monday and still very lost and numb as it was sudden.
Sleeping isnt a problem as thats when im with him and we are happy, its the day time that hits me. I just dont know what to do, have been busy the past couple of weeks phoning companies which was so blooming hard and arranging his funeral but today was the last of the phone calls to be made. Now i am struggling agsin.
I hope you are all ok and coping the best you can x

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