Hate this loneliness!


Me too :sleepy::sleepy::broken_heart: xx

Sending hugs to you all xx


Hi mine also died 7 months ago. My heart goes out to you. I am also finding it hard


Oh I so get the going to bed early.
Between 8 and 9 for me too.
Just can’t bear any more of the day.
So me and our two boys (our dogs!) Go to bed. Turn TV on with programmes I don’t have to concentrate on …just s noise in background.
Sleeping is still hard , wake every 1 or 2 hours or so for long periods.
This is a sleep pattern I’ve had for quite a few years, as my husband was quite poorly, and then very poorly requiring use of breathing machines…so I needed to be checking in him every two hours at least, and had to use alarms on my phone for this .
Don’t mind the going to bed so much , it’s the start of every new day that is torture. I hate the start of another day without him, and another day further away. 8 months 21 days in …and nothings any easier…mostly harder.
But our two little dogs get me up every morning… usually about 5.30 am…
And we go for a long walk before I have to get ready to go to work .
Everything is just so lonely.

Hugs to you all for our joint understanding. We may all be on different grief journeys but we ‘get’ each other. :hugs::hugs:


Sorry for your loss… it’s so painful to lose someone so close


I know hun. How you doing


I feel the complete same. Just bought myself a one year old jack Russell. I also go to bed early. The days are to long now


Love and hugs back . We are all on the same path. Doesnt make it any easier. I also find it harder xxxxx love and hugs


I haven’t experienced lonliness very deeply till now. I’ve organised lots of distractions around me, but tonight I can’t settle to anything. All I am aware of is the crushing feeling of missing him sitting here with me, just a few feet away, watching something on the TV before bedtime. And the house is upside down and getting worse and the garden the same. I’m falling down a big hole

Angelina - We’re all here for you. I completely relate to that feeling. I have found the grief waves hit me very suddenly and it feels all consuming, a good friend told me… let it have its moment, it will pass… I sometimes repeat this in my head. I give in to it and I’ve found it does.
Everyone grieves in different ways though.
Just know that we’re here and you’re not alone.
Sending you a big virtual hug.


Lonelywidower - Thank you. I give in to the waves of massive sad whenever it happens. I’m very lucky as my work colleagues are incredibly understanding and I work from home mostly now anyway, since covid. My husband was only 53. I have a daughter that keeps me going and I’m really close to my step children too.
I totally feel what you mean about time can’t come quick enough to take the pain away.


I’m new here. My husband died on 23rd April, with Covid, in hospital.

I’ve tried to get past the sheer loneliness but I can’t. I’ve got a fantastic daughter, 4 lovely adult grandchildren, and a son that is flying home from the States next week, for the funeral, but none of this is helping.

I’ve got health problems, retired and my husband and I spent 24/7 together, as he also had health problems.

I can’t drive, I cannot get a pet, and I can’t actually “talk” verbally to many people at the moment.

But, we got through life with love, laughter and black humour - I’ve lost “me” in all this. The bubbly, happy person I was has gone.

I sit in a haze of aching pain, unable to even cry properly.

In desperation I contacted our GP yesterday, to try and get some sort of medication for a while. It’s never been something I’ve done, but I need something. The funeral is not until 2nd June, and I’m dreading it.

The best they can do is a phone appointment on 27th May, but that’s not much use. I can’t sleep, I’m barely eating and the weight is falling off of me.

I would never harm myself, but every night I wish something dramatic, health wise, would happen to take me out of this.

I’m sorry - I don’t mean to whinge with my first post, but does this shock and pain ever get better?


Hello londonlass
So sorry you have had yo join our community.
I lost my husband 8 months 24 days ago but only found this site just over two weeks ago. It’s amazing support.
The best bit is you can say what ever you want , and there is never any need to apologise.
We all have a different journeys and are at different points on our lonely journeys. But you will see that we all experience a lots of the same/similar feelings and emotions about how we deal with our grief.
The bit about losing yourself is common amongst us all.
I’ve e said lots about how I feel like a completely different person. And I miss the old me so much , and don’t even like the new me.

I can’t promise you things will get easier, it hasn’t for me, but we are all different and all have different support networks. But I hope you can find comfort in reading posts on here.
It has helped me to see others that feel like me, and ‘get me’

Big hugs :hugs::hugs:


Don’t worry about whinging. We all feel like that most of the time. Today I am wishing some illness to come and take me. I couldn’t do anything, although I periodically think about it. Death through some illness is my only hope. Has anyone else started using alcohol to numb the pain. I hardly drank before but I am now. It’s not a good thing, I know, but I don’t know how else to get through.



Those waves just creep up don’t they . When I try not to think that much I kind of get round Bry not being around ( think I block it out ) then I’m a second when I think I’ll never see him again as he was, I cannot bare it & the tears start flowing :sleepy::sleepy:

It’s just too much :sleepy::sleepy::broken_heart::broken_heart: I really do hate this life we have all found ourselves in xx



I understand everything you are saying. I too wish every day that something will happen just how Bry was taken from me .

That’s how I get through each day at the minute hoping & thinking it could be my day tomorrow.

I’m 8 weeks in & I now function but that’s about it . I’m on antidepressants & sleeping tablets .

I ordered some melatonin, they didn’t work for me but do help my adult son. They took a while to come but maybe you could try them ?

As for verbally talking I’m the same . I have my bubble that I’m comfortable with & this group. Other than that I try not to answer the door or go out on the front until it’s gone dark as I just can’t cope with the thought of someone talking to me :sleepy:

Sending hugs xxx

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I did in the first few weeks but then I stopped , not for any reason really . I struggle with the taste of wine now too :see_no_evil:

My don is out tomorrow so my daughter , his girlfriend & 2 of my friends are with me so I’m going to try a few :blush:

I’m on sleeping tablets so I won’t have one tomorrow as I know the alcohol will knock me out . It’s whatever helps us I think at the min :heartpulse: xx


Hello @AngelinaH,

I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. It sounds like you are having a tough time and using alcohol to numb the pain you’re feeling. Many people can turn to alcohol during grief, but there are other forms of support available. We have an article about finding other ways of taking care of yourself, which might be worth a read: Sue Ryder Grief Guide

If you are worried about drinking, there is support available for you:

  • The NHS website has a guide on getting support with alcohol issues.
  • Alcohol Change offer support to people who are experiencing issues with alcohol.
  • Drinkline is a free, confidential helpline for people who are concerned about their drinking, or someone else’s. Call 0300 123 1110 (weekdays 9am–8pm, weekends 11am–4pm)

The Samaritans are also always there for you, day or night, on 116 123.

Please do reach out for further support - you are important and deserve help.

Take good care,

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Have you tried Kalms ? Theyre good ! You can get from your chemist without prescription. Might help until you hear from your dr ? Xx

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Me too ! Im so fed up today ! So disillusioned with life and really feel like what’s the damn point of it all !!



I get you !!! I’ve been begging Bry just to come at get me today . This is not a life :sleepy::sleepy::broken_heart::broken_heart:

Sending hugs xxx