Having a bad day

As I’m sure everyone else on here is exactly the same . Today has been an eventful day I supported my mum to hospital for an eye appointment then took her back to the care home ( she wanted to go straight back because she said it’s her comfort place) .
I came home sat in my garden and thought this is my life now sat here alone ,eating my meals alone, going shopping alone, I’m having such a lonely feeling day today what do you all do on days like this Iv tried going for a walk ,reading ,gardening , all kinds of things fingers crossed tomorrow will be a better day.
I miss my Rob so much and the pain at times is horrendous what I would do to bring him back

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I feel for you Kazzer. I have had a really busy day workwise and I am feeling really, really tired. Normally, I would go upstairs to join Andrew who would cheer me up, stroke my back and generally sooth me with kind words.

Now all I have is an empty house, an empty bed and no-one to talk to and offload the day’s woes.

It is excruciatingly painful.

You are not alone.

Sending you hugs and thoughts.

Sonia xx :heart:

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Sonia thank you for your kind words life can be so cruel to get robbed of the one we have come to love so much . Take care and thank you so so much for your reply xxx

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Oh, to have my back stroked… How I miss that.

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The loneliness is awful. Even sitting in the garden in the lovely weather is lonely as we used to sit out together just talking or just sitting quietly in the sunshine.
Hope tomorrow is a better day for you xx

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Barbara the loneliness is the most painful experience ever I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
Everyone says I’m here for you or if you need anything just give us a shout but it’s so so hard to reach out because we are fully aware that these people have their own lives to be getting on with and I feel the last thing they want or need is a needy person hang around them , plus all of mine and robs friends are still as a couple .

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Hi, I know how you feel. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s absolutely useless talking to people who haven’t gone through the same grief, they just cannot understand. I actually get irritated at all that nonsensical language they use. I’m starting to dread even visiting my parents, who are in their 80s,bless them,of course, glad I still have them,but especially mum, she keeps telling me that I can’t keep being depressed, have to move forward, and so on. How can she possibly know what I’m going through? I just change the subject, make a ‘huffing’ sound and just wave them goodbye and leave.

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I wish I could say something that would help but at the moment I know nothing will, but knowing people are here for you and understanding how you feel may be a little comfort.

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Yes feel exactly the same. I know people do probably mean it but you don’t want to bother them when they have their own lives they are busy with. I’m in the same situation all my friends are still couples.
Take care xx

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This life is just horrible I have to go and do a shop for myself and I am in a real anxious state as I have run out the shop twice as I cannot afford the petrol I have to go back in. I live in a remote area and can only get anywhere by car I had a bad panic attack in bed this morning as I realised nobody cares if I live or die anymore as my beloved was my life and he is gone and not coming home so what is the point in existing everyday with this intense heartbreak and loneliness.

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I have some awful days the rest are just very bad. It’s a beautiful day and I can’t bear to sit out in the garden as that is where Davy and I spent our last afternoon together, sitting on a swing seat he had bought and assembled. We had just had the garden landscaped to make it low maintenance for him, he had planned it and thankfully got a month of enjoyment out of it. I hate going shopping as I am constantly seeing things and thinking “ Davy would like that.” It’s an absolute nightmare, but gradually I have to believe I will learn to live with this awful grief. I just loved him so much, and he loved me the same.

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I know it’s hard I was the same at the beginning in fact I was that bad when I went to the doctors to see about the arthritis in my wrist and ended up having a complete meltdown, I still have really bad days but most of the time I just feel numb. I don’t drive as I never needed to Steve was always there to take me anywhere I wanted, since lossing him I would have panic attacks about going out on my own, It’s only recently I managed to get a bus on my own it still stresses me out, sounds daft really it’s just a bus but I feel so lost still. 16 months on and the loneliness is one of the hardest parts, I go to bed really early to try to shorten my day, but it doesn’t help because I don’t sleep much. I think of him all day and every day the hurt doesn’t go away you just learn to cope with it a bit better, my heart is broken and I can’t see it ever being fixed, but we have to live for them to keep their memory alive that’s what I keep telling myself it helps me to keep going . take care

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kazzer I have days like that too, when the unbearable sadness just doesn’t lift for a second. What I will say, and I hope it’s the same for you, it’s not every day now, some days are a bit more bearable. I will miss my Davy forever but will be forever grateful for the 12 short years of an amazing marriage, grateful that we found each other, and grateful for the unending love we had for each other. I talk to him every day, and even send him texts as we did that all the time. I hope today is a bit better for you. I hope you have support, that in time you won’t feel so alone.
Sending love and strength

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Hi kazzer - yes I feel exactly the same - on beautiful days like this if we weren’t working Martin and I loved sitting In The garden in the sun - just chatting or maybe having a glass of wine. We loved each other so,much and now it’s just me in a huge empty house and I miss him every second. All the little things I got pleasure from before are now meaningless. I just want him back - that’s all I want. And I can’t have that - and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it.
How long ago did you lose him ? Martin died 5 weeks ago and the funeral is on Monday - I am in bits every day x

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Sandra7 it will be two years for me on 1st September we had been together 34 years and married for 33 years he was taken so suddenly due to a heart attack ,there had been no heart conditions prior to Robs passing and from having a pain in his shoulder to passing away was 5 hours so we had no time at all to prepare. I had to do cpr on him and I did get home breathing again and got him some extra time to allow the kids to be by his side

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Kazzer - so,sorry to hear of those circumstances but at least you got him that bit of extra time - although it’s never enough is it.
Martin had had a big haemorrhagic stroke 4 years before but on the 6 months leading up to his death his recovery had come on in leaps and bounds and the last thing on our minds was that he would die. We were full of hopes and plans for the future. It was so sudden too - he was brilliant one day and the next day woke up very Ill and we went to hospital - it was an infection which turned to sepsis and he was gone a few days later. Still can’t believe it .:cry:

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Sandra, just to say I will be thinking of you tomorrow, Martin’s funeral will be such a hard day for you. I hope you get a small sense of peace and calm. Sending lots of love and strength your way xx

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Deb9 it is such a comfort to be able to come on here and pour your heart out to others who totally understand what your going through and how your feeling . I found this site such a huge comfort this time last year and I was on it all the time , I still need it now from time to time . Take care xxx Karen :heart:

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Sending love and strength to you for today Sandra.
I hope you manage to find some peace.
Janey x

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Hi I still feel like this everyday 18month since I lost my soulmate,bestfriend my loving husband never felt so alone as I do now my heart is still breaking :broken_heart: finding it hard to get out of bed to face another lonely day

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