I lost my darling 18 months ago too. It’s very difficult without them.
It’s hard to lose your best friend isn’t it?! My husband was so kind and caring and so funny. I miss him making me laugh more than anything else.
I always find that reading through posts on here helps me.
Sadly there are so many of us in this position.
Take care of yourself. I hope you can have days when your loneliness isn’t as bad.
Janey xx
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Thank you for thinking of me
The funeral itself was hard to start with but once we got to the wake was much better, friends and people,who,loved him all talking about him and went so well
But now it is today - and I am I credibly down and sad. He is truly gone now and there is nothing more I can do for him . This is the worst feeling ever. I am just missing him so,much and I know there will be no end to it - and all my purpose in life and reason for being seems to,have gone
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We can only take a little step at a time and see how we feel from day to day Sandra.
I know it sounds like a cliche but your husband wouldn’t want you to live the rest of your life in grief and sadness.
Little by little your deep sadness will lift, but now it’s such early days for you and the pain feels never ending.
It’s hard at first getting through the hours, days, weeks, but time passes whether we want it to or not.
We’ll never, ever stop missing them…but in time we’re able to remember them with a smile, or even a laugh.
Please go easy on yourself. You’ll be exhausted after all the emotion of the funeral
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@Sandra7 I am 10 months in and find I am in a worse state than ever I miss him so much it is literally breaking my heart. I do not want to do anything nothing motivates me anymore I used to work all day with my partner I have had bad thoughts of not seeing the point of going on again and have just rang the doctors. Some on here seem to cope a lot better and I wish I was one of them. When some say their partners would not like them to be upset mine would just want me to be with him he could not bare it if I was not with him. I cry every morning it is exhausting but I cannot stop
Jessica
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I too have had those thoughts some days I can’t see my future without my husband it’s heartbreaking I have to keep going for my daughters and Grandchildren because they can’t lose me too
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Oh Kazzer I too am so lonely.No family or real friends. The little things are so obviously not there for example I always got home later than him as I worked quite a long drive from home and even if it was pitch dark outside there was always a mug of tea on the table when I came through the door, the way he would always say " Alright love"? if I got up in the night The house feels so different and empty. Life is empty. I am so sorry for your pain. Have no answers.x
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Bell I know exactly how you feel I come off shift at 10pm sometimes
And rob would be home by then so there was always a light in and the tv would on but now I come home to an empty quiet and dark house I hate it .
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Hi, I lost my darling husband of 35 years nearly 7 months ago, and just as I thought I was starting to slightly cope, today had hit me hard, just like the day he died! I’ve cried and cried! I just want him back, but ofcourse that will never happen. He had leukaemia, and we were going to the hospital twice a week for blood transfusions and platelets, and then one day he got so weak he knew he couldn’t make it to the hospital, and broke my heart when he died 2 days later in bed ar home with me and our dog by his side, im just heartbroken, im glad to be on this forum where there are many others in this horrible situation, sending hugs to whoever needs it x
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I have read all of your heartbreaking stories mines no different. We’re all in this together. I’m so sorry for all of us.
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Dear Jessica, I can totally understand where your coming from! My dear husband who I’ve been with since I was 18, now 54 died back in January of this year, and I regularly have thoughts about ending it all, and actually it sounds appealing to me! Just to be with him again , the only thing stopping me is my children, they are all grown up my 2 boys live at home with me and my daughter lives 23 miles away and has just had a baby, my husband told me before he died that I must plod on and that what I’m trying to do, but some days are harder than others! I hope you in time start to have some good days too xx
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Hi @Karen15
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. I’m hearing how painful this is for you and want you to know you’re never alone. There’s always someone out there to help you through this.
Whenever you feel these thoughts of wanting everything to end get too much, you can reach out to one of the following organisations who are always just a call or text away anytime you would like someone to talk to:
- Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
- Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
- You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline .
- If you have any concerns for your health or safety, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E.
If you’re interested in counselling, we offer free sessions at Sue Ryder. You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.
You deserve this support, so please keep reaching out.
Take care,
Mick
Online Community team
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@Sandra7 From what I read on here, the period immediately after a soul mate’s funeral is the worst. And then maybe a period of time, which varies for each person, there might possibly be a way of coping; but I’m not sure about the last bit. Here for you…
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Hi Karen 15 so sad to hear this. - my beautiful,husband of 29 years died just 6 weeks ago.
He had had a massive stroke 4 years before but was at home again and getting better at a good pace. We were full of hope for,the future and less disability for him then he suddenly,got, I’ll with a septic infection. We went to hospital,but shockingly the antibiotics did not work .
He would have wanted to be at home with me and our dog but sadly died with just me there in hospital.
Such a shock - I miss him so much - every day is a challenge xx
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Thank you Dennis - it’s a rollercoaster after the funeral is t it - mostly a downhill one sadly - with occasional respite and then we go crashing back down again. Thank you for being here - I am also here for you
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Oh dear! Life is so sad and hurtful at times! I’m having a bad day today, I’ve been up and down, and thought I was getting there, but today it has hit me like a ton of bricks! It’s nearly 7 months that he passed away, he was 61, and very young at heart! I went to see my daughter and granddaughter who was born back in June, the sadness that he’s not here to see her and share this happiness with us is so heartbreaking and I’ve been in tears since I got home! He would have made such a wonderful granddad! I hope that you start to feel a bit better in the months to come, it’s a long hard journey and we aren’t the only ones, even tho it feels that way, take care xx
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Hi Karen15
I know just what you have been through. My husband lost his fight with Leukaemia 8 months ago. He was too weak to go to hospital for transfusions and he died at home 5 days later. He went through so much pain and suffering, and I keep telling myself he’s at peace now. I miss him so very much .
We were married 52 years.
I am still waiting for counselling, and hope that will help.
Sending love and hugs.
X
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I’m so sorry that you too lost your husband, mine also died of leukaemia, he was 61, he too became too weak to go to the hospital for transfusions and platelets, he died 3 days later at home with just me and our dog by his side! I feel I could do with some counselling too, it’s such a massive part of our lives that have gone and it’s so lonely! I hope you get the help you need, have you got any family near you? Xx
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Jessica 1231 I completely understand how you feel as I feel exactly the same I’m 16 months into this hell and it seems never-ending.
Loneliness is the worst but at the moment I can feel lonely in a room of people because the one person I want to be there is my husband the love of my life but he never will be.
All I can do is plod on and hope that things will eventually get better. 
Sending hugs
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I am lucky to have my family near me, and they have been wonderful.
I try not to be dependent on them, they have their own lives to lead and I don’t expect to be included in everything. I have some good friends and neighbours, but I still feel so lonely and sad a lot of the time.
I think that as soon as my husband got his diagnosis, we knew we had to make the most of the time he had left, and even though you know what’s around the corner it’s just as much of a shock when the end comes.
Hope you are getting support from family, and can get yourself on the waiting list for counselling too.
X
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Hi eleven months since my happy life stopped. I don’t know what this life is now it’s not even existing . Just wanting hubby here with me more and more each day . I don’t think this pain and longing for him will ever stop . He is all I have known from being 16 . I’m almost 60 and can’t see any future without him . I don’t live alone but I am so lonely for him . All I keep asking is why . I look up at the sky each day and ask him "where have you gone where are you ". Xtake carex
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