Hi I’m so sorry you are feeling so much heartache I too was with my husband since 16 my best friend,soulmate I’ve just gone 60 I too some days can,t see a future without him I keep going for my daughters and Grandchildren I know that is what he would want me to do even tho I,m heartbroken we have to take one day at a time
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Hi , I have children and grandkids as well . But I feel like they would be better off without me . I don’t let them know how bad I feel . They have got to have a happy life like we did . I don’t ever want to be a burden on them . But this sadness and loss of not only my hubby but I have lost me as well . It’s just to much . And can’t ever see it getting any easier or me learning to live with it . But yes one day at a time . Even one hour at a time . It’s tragic all the people on this site just trying to cope each day . But thankful that there is people who do understand . Thinking of you all. Xtake carex
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I do understand how you feel I don’t feel the same person because half of me is missing it’s 18 month since I lost the Love of my life and I too can’t see a future without him most days but some days its bearable stay strong x
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@Broken2222 your pain is my pain I do not have family and live in a remote place. I cry all morning for my beloved he has been gone 10 months saying out loud please let him come home just not seeing his truck outside is killing me. I feel my life is over and certainly do not see a future without him we where still working together as a team that has all gone. I sit here every day waiting for the day to end. I do not have to hide my tears as there is no one to see them.
Jessica
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Hi . It’s so hard . This life we never asked for , never wanted, and definetly don’t deserve . I understand and feel your pain . I guess I am “lucky” to have family and still living with me . But sadly I just need and want my hubby . I wake at 6 most mornings and just want the night to come in hope that hubby will come and get me when I’m asleep . It does help to know I’m not the only one with these feelings . Though sad that anyone has to try and live a life without there one true love . Just keep posting on here and get all your feelings out . I do . Hoping we and all on here find the strength to get through each day . Xtake carex
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Hi
Definitely having a bad day today, nearly nine months since I joined this club and like all on here didn’t expect to become a member. It’s the loneliness that hits me, not having that person to do nothing much with. Not having that person to tell that I spotted a Colin in the garden ( only he would get it), not having that person who’d give me hug this morning when I was sobbing over the death of a wolf on Animal Park. Yes I’m fortunate to have family and friends but so much time on my own ( I do get out exercise classes at least three mornings a week) My daughter says get in touch with people, reach out to them they want to help but I can’t. I feel like charity case and I hate it and my self pity.
I do feel very sorry for myself, we lost our first daughter Katy, she was stillborn at full term. Phil was the only other person to ever have seen and held he. Life is so unfair, ridiculous thing to say and I do appreciate that so many have to live lives far worse than mine
Sorry just needed to express how I feel to people who get it
Love to all
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Hi . This is horrible trying to live without that one person . That knew everything about us , that knew how to make everything better. My hubby was my best friend . Infact my only friend . We just needed each other and was so happy in our life together . Now I’m no one . I still work only to pay the bills . But my colleagues don’t understand . Or maybe it’s the way I go on . They probably sick of me . I don’t let my family know how bad I feel . They hurting enough without my grief as well . So posting on here is my lifeline . Keeps me sane ! So sad that we have to . And so many people feel the same . Not a club I ever wanted to join . But guess I’m a member now . And will be till my days are ended . Thinking of you . Xtake carex
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My darling soulmate was my best friend, too and like you @Broken2222, my actual only friend. We didn’t need anyone else. I have my kids with me but they’ve got their own lives to think about, I don’t want to upset or burden them with my devastating sorrow, so I just have to put on a brave face, and continue acting, like I do with the rest of the family. I do let it all out though while I’m driving, where nobody can hear or see me. Windows closed, air conditioning on, sunglasses, I start wailing and crying out all sorts of stuff, if someone could overhear me, they’d think: “wow, this one’s got a screwoose”.
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Hi , that did make me smile . Yes I think we all have a screw loose . And The only one who could tighten it is our partners . I know I have to keep going for my kids and grandkids . And act as normal as I can . But that isn’t what I want or need . I have only this site to let out my true feelings . What I do . A lot . Knowing people feel the same and help me . Does keep me going . But this is not the life I want . I just try and get through each day best I can . And mostly cry each night. I now feel like I have friends on this site that understand me and my feelings . Thinking of you and all . Xtake carex
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Hi @Janr
I read your post and thought that is me. Feel exactly the same. Going out with friends in couples is the worst you definitely feel like a charity case and hard knowing where you fit in now.
I have been getting out but like you spend a lot of time on my own. Miss my husband so much, the private jokes, talking about everyday stuff and him just being there sharing my life.
Xx
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Both yours and @Janr post is exactly how I feel. I had a really bad day yesterday and even though I’m more peaceful today I know the tsunami of emotions is always lurking ready to strike again. It’s 3 mth since my husband suddenly and unexpectedly lost his life and my life changed forever! I hate facing my horrible new reality every single day and trying to fill in hours of time. Like you both I miss all the little, simple things of our daily life and just being together. I’m lucky to have really supportive family and friends but no amount of invites to do thing/go places can be a substitute for that. I try to embrace the calm hours as I know the tears can come any time. Strength to all going through this x
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@Karen15 I totally get that - I came quite close a few weeks ago, but spoke to a couple of Sharon’s friends (I didn’t tell them how bad I was) which diverted my brain. I keep going, for no one but my sweetest Sharon, who sneakily made it clear she wanted me to keep going and put a psychiatrist in play before she went. One day at a time…
@Karen15 I’m just getting started on some counselling, and am hoping it will work. Sue Ryder do some online stuff if that is good for you?
Hi Dennis
Thank you for your reply, it means a lot to know that we’re all in this together! It’s so hard, I can’t imagine life without Andy, I’ve known nothing else since I was 18! I’m going to get some help with sue Ryder, and hopefully that will get me through! I hope you get through this too, it’s a long slow journey and very painful, best of luck and keep in touch
Karen
Hi Janr.
You express all you like. We’re all here with you. After my loss I’ve just posted my thoughts on here on many occasions just because I know that people that read it will definately ’ get it '.
Love Peter.
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So sorry for your loss. I lost my beloved husband of 53 years 11 weeks ago. I too have days of being overwhelmed by feelings of doing everything alone. I spend a lot of time in the garden as the house feels too empty. Can only hope that the next day is better. We will get throught this but the pain meanwhile is terrible.
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Really feel down today I lost Steve 19 months ago now, there is not a day goes by that I don’t think about him and I miss him so much. I am sat here trying to get motivated take the dogs out, I feel so lost without him today is one of those days it’s hard to do anything. He was my life for 40 years we met when I was 19 I don’t know how to go on without him by my side. People think you should be fine now but it’s not them on their own and they don’t understand my life that I have know for 40 years has gone I miss being us I feel so alone, I have great kids but they have their own life to live. We had so many plans but now I feel like a prisoner that’s let out on day release now and again. It’s amazing how many of my so-called friends I have not seen since I lost Steve I just want my life back but I know that’s gone
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Hi, I know how you feel, almost a year since my world fell apart, my heart shattered, and the best of me , gone with my husband . It’s a struggle every day . I think with everything on the news and radios playing only sad songs . It isn’t helping us . Our sadness and thoughts of our husband are always there . But I think since our Queen died . It is bringing all the emotions out magnified , a whole lot worse . Anyway that’s how I feel . Sending a hug xtake carex
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Hi . It is three months since Graham died. I had nursed him at home with great help from District Nurses and the Palliative care team at my local Sue Ryder hospice. From being busy caring and nursing to nothing but memories. I still cry a lot every day. We did most things together and now I feel lost. My family are great but they don’t live local and I don’t want to bother them, they have their own lives. So sorry that you are having all the pain of loss too. All we can do is get through each day as best we can. Sending hugs to you x
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Hi , sorry for your loss . I really don’t know how we all manage or don’t manage to keep on going . I still have family living with me . So I am not alone , but still feel so lonely without husband . I also work , only because I have to bills to pay . I was 60 the other week . And boy do I feel it . Where I never felt my age . Always had a young outlook on life . But all that has gone with my husband . I don’t ever want to be a burden on my kids . They deserve to have a happy life . Like we did . We didn’t have friends . We just wanted each other . So at least I don’t have that problem of them abandoning me . I do find this site helps me a lot . I can pour my heart out without being judged and people are so kind . And it helps to know the feelings I have are “normal” . Thinking of you xtake carex
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