That’s right @Broken2222, thank God we have this site where we can say freely how we feel. Do you get the impression that when you try to explain to family about what you’re going through it seems like we speak a different language.? Our TV here is dedicating enormous coverage to our Queen, yesterday I broke down crying when I heard the national anthem while the news reporter was showing all the front pages of British newspapers the day after she passed. I seem to get even more emotional now, since I lost my beloved soulmate nearly 22 months ago. I was crying for her and for my husband too, because he should have been here now, commenting this tragic event with me, agreeing together that she had been a great monarch.
Hi . I don’t tell my kids how I truly feel . I feel they don’t need to know . They can see I’m not the same mam as I was . But they have enough to cope with . I did try to talk to my work colleagues . But they can’t grasp how difficult . Lonely . Life changing and heartbreaking it is . And I’m sure they think I should be over it now . So yes this site gets it all of me . The whole bloody (sorry) mess my life / exsistence is now . So thank God or who ever for this site and the lovely ,kind people , that help keep me plodding on . Sending a big hug xtake carex
I don’t see my kids much as they live away but we’re in touch by phone, FB and text. I don’t tell them how I’m feeling, just put on a brave face and break down later. I dread meeting anyone I know because when they ask how I am I find it difficult not to start crying. As you say, some seem to think I should be back to normal. I will never have ‘normal’ again. I spend a lot of time gardening I don’t have to meet anyone there. Keep smiling if you can x
Just feel so low today went to a family party yesterday for my great nephews 16th birthday it was lovely but I miss having Steve with me, I just seem to wander around and feel like a fish out of water. It’s hard to describe how I feel exactly but I was so lonely in a room full of people, which my family don’t understand so I don’t mention it anymore. They think because I am with family I should be ok but how can I be ok without Steve, he was my life for over 40 years we did everything together. He was fine the day before he passed then the next day he was gone, sat here 19 months on with tears running down my face still heart broken he was only 63 we should have had so many more years together. I just want my old life back but I know that’s impossible I am so so lonely without him.
So sorry you’re having a very bad day. Family from Holland coming next week, staying with husbands sister, and I’m dreading it. I know they will be quite intense about him passing. No one from Holland got here for the funeral, so they are going to be upset. I don’t know how I’m going to cope with it. I’m trying to think of excuses to avoid a family get together that my kids and grandkids are also attending. I’m going to be in tears the whole time. We will get through this, we have to be strong. Take care xx
Oh my god I feel like iv actuall found somewhere that will understand where I am after reading this, lost my wife in June 2022. I was going to say I can’t tell you all how hard life is but after reading this I see iv no need to, I feel so bitter I too love Northern soul kazzer infact iv just joined a group in Buxton not far for me to travel from Mansfield if I ever feel like it again i so sorry you all had to go through this my wife was 56 I’m 66, I hate life at the moment, thank god iv got 2 daughters and 2 granddaughters to keep me on the rails xx
Guys if I press a button I shouldn’t or post a mistake I appolagise in advance I’m new to the site and getti g to know how it all works, thank you
Hello Ian. I lost my husband in June, we’d been married 53 years. Met when we were teenagers. I’ve thought about joining groups or clubs but keep chickening out. The thought of being among people who still have their partner makes me feel left out and quite bitter that I’m alone. I’m just taking things very slowly but have more bad days than good. It is good to be able to communicate with others in the same boat. Take care x
It will be hard I had the same as Steve’s funeral was in Covid restrictions so not all the family from around the country could attend as we were restricted to numbers. So when the family did finally all get together there were so many questions which was hard but it needed to be done. You will get through it and they will understand you being upset know that he will be with you take care xxxx
I only found this group in July this year but it is such a comfort as it’s a safe place to say how you feel as everyone understands and cares. I don’t always comment but I do think that writing your thoughts down about how you are feeling in an environment where everyone understands is very important and helpful, as I don’t like to burden my family especially my children as they are just coping them selves. I am sorry for your loss I hope this group brings you some comfort take care.
Ian4 Iv just this minute got back from whitby week ender ( soul week end) this site gave me so much comfort in the earlier days of loosing my husband I was in it all the time. I think the comfort I found was you can say anything about your feelings and instantly there are so many people who just get how you are feeling and what your going through and no one judges you and expects you to just move on , because it’s just not that simple . Take care and keep chatting it really does help
Hi @Ian4, so sorry for the loss of your darling wife. You’ve come to the right place here, it’s so true that only others who have gone through the tragic loss of their soulmate can understand us. My husband was only 57 when a sudden heart attack took him away from me and my two grownup children, nearly 22 months ago. I still can’t believe that he will not be coming back.
Like others have just said here, I also feel more alone when I’m with people than when I’m on my own at home. F for example, this summer, when my son and daughter were away on beach holidays with their friends, my parents would urge me to go over to their house for lunch, so as not to be alone at home. They don’t understand that I feel worse ‘mingling’ with peoe without my husband by my side where he always has been, and should be. On the other hand, I went for a walk around our property this morning, noticing the first signs of Autumn, I felt my darling was with me, I talked to him the whole time.
Absolutly it’s important to talk to others and I’m so sorry for your loss, your loss it as new as mine then , iv trawled through the Internet for a chat room to talk to people in this situation like a live room where you can have instant conversations but iv yet to find one that doesn’t require payment and most of them are trash dating and singles place, damn it’s a hard life on your own xx even iv got family but it’s not the same when your sat alone at night
Thank you for responding kaz, hope you had a great weekend, well has good one as could be. I see your from my area, did you used to frequent civic soul do?
Hi Kazzer I truly know how you are feeling & I’m sending you a big hug. Xxxx Anne
Ian4 Iv been once and was only saying today I plan to go again along with some other local venues
I’ve been very emotional too the last week. Upset about The Queen , which also brought the loss of my darling husband to the surface.
Plus I had to go into hospital overnight suddenly as I became ill.
It’s been scary being on my own and feeling poorly. I have family nearby who are wonderful, but when they go home it’s just me and my thoughts and the TV. Been looking forward to a short break next week, but doesn’t look like I’ll be well enough to go. Thinking of you all.
Iv been many times in the past not been since we’ll before lock down. Poss a few years before I know alot of the dj, s in this area, but yes it’s been a while we used to cut a groove, lol
Sorry to hear you’ve not been well. It’s something I dread, bring I’ll and bring by myself to deal with it. I hate the evenings and am dreading the winter ones. I hope that you get away on your holiday. Sending a hug x
Ian4 I’m two years in to being on my own and just got back on the soul scene ( if my shifts allow that is) I work part time . There are a couple of venues I want to go back to ie grosvenor and the innings one day I will get to them . Anyway KTF keep on keeping on stay strong and keep talking