Heartache

Sounds sensible,I too will skip Christmas this year at least.It will nothing without my dear wife beside me.Long winter nights are going to be so lonely.Michael.

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I understand your feelings my friend
I also dread the coming dark nights
Make the most of the day go for walks or visit friends and family is there a neighbour nearby who needs help you will find a way through.

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Hi yes I find the trouble of visiting friends or family is when you have to come back home again and the emptiness of the once happy home comes crashing down on you.No welcoming smile or loving word.Oh how I hate this life now without her.Every room bears her touch.This grieving eats you alive.Michael.

Stay strong just a few short weeks ago I was in your position
I miss my Christine every second of everyday but you will learn to live with your grief it takes time. Today I am having one of my dark days, they come from time to time but I will persevere knowing it will get better. My thoughts are with you
Keep in touch I will help in any way I can

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It looks like we are kindred spirits Mick77,I too get these very dark days when I cannot get her out of my mind,we had a wonderful 32 years together but the images of her in that last 8 weeks until she passed away are giving me such nightmares,that is why I had to see her inThe Chapel of Rest before her funeral.I will keep in touch and thank you., Michael.

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Yes I too have very painfully memories of my wifeā€™s final hours. Having been given the final diagnosis Christine wished to come home rather than stay in hospital.
I spent the next week sat by bed holding her hand as she slowly weakened after particularly bad night I noticed her breathing was getting very shallow and called for medical assistance. While waiting for this assistance I had tp perform cpr which will haunt me for the rest of my days. Christine passed away two days later with me still sat by her side and like yourself the grief was all consuming. Now two months on I still have many dark moments but I feel that I have taken the first small step to move on. She will allways live on in my hear.
Talking to you has helped me in so many ways. Stay strong we will get through this nightmare we owe it to our dearly departed partners

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I am glad we can help each other through this nightmare.I too spent so many hours with my Judith during her 8 weeks in hospital and then the final 4 days in the hospice where she slipped away ,I watched her take her last breath and it was heartbreaking,I did not know what to do just cried and cried for her.Why do we get these really dark moments when we cannot cope with the grief.I like you am consumed with grief ,our wives were our shining lights.Michael.

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Indeed they were Christine was my strength and purpose in life. She was allways at my side from the age of 17 to passing at 62 thatā€™s a lot of years. If you need to talk in your tougher moments ring me [edited by moderator]

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Thank you so much my friend. My number [edited by moderator]

HI mickeyboy 3 I noticed your conversations with another member and that your phone number was edited by moderator. I suggest you private message each other and you can talk freely there. I met a very dear friend through this site. We talk every day about everything. It has saved my life because I always have something to look forward to. He is much older than me but we laugh and cry and Share photographs. Eventually we exchanged e mails. It sounds like you both need a good friend. Good luck.

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Today was a disaster having lost my wife on the 18th August I struggled through the following weeks in utter despair. The past few days were promising after joining discussions on this site I felt the despair lift a little. But this morning I awoke with all the terrible feelings back and have spent the day with tears streaming once again utter despair. I know there will be days like this but how can you think of a future when you canā€™t let go of the past

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My Dear Mick77
Iā€™m feeling for you today. I think I understand your pain. It comes in ebbs and flows. One day you feel strong and then dispare sets in and you feel weak and so so tearful. Itā€™s such an early stage for you and I expect those bad memories and thoughts go round and round. You have been brave. Graduslly those thoughts will be less at least in my experience.
I am retired so have no paid work to go to. Luckily I have various interests that cause me to be responsible and I have to keep others on track.
I have 4 step children (adults) why do t we have a word for adult children?
They are good but all live away from here.
Keep posting on here.
You will eventually forge a new life. It takes time.
Love and prayers Tricia

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Thank you for your kind words it is unbearable when the dark periods descend. On more than one occasion I have found myself with tears rolling down my face in the middle of a shopping centre drawing unwanted attention from other shoppers. Much of the time I can control my emotions (man thing) other times I just break down I am lucky that I have great family and friends as support not everyone is so lucky
Take care I wish you well

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Oh Mick 77 I am so sorry ,waking up and seeing that she is not beside you is the worst thing.I cried massively yesterday,has to phone several people to calm myself down.Yes how can you think of the future when the past is still so raw and ever present,so here we go again another day begins ,how will it be today.

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Thank you and yes I will do that.

So here we go again,you wake up and bang it hits you again,she is not around,no loving smile,no loving touch just nothing.I really do not know how long I can handle this type of life without her,it still feels so unreal that she is gone and yet when you look around the house it is real ,I have not moved a thing since she passed away and I never will .I had a dark period yesterday afternoon,croed and howled for her and then had to phone her Cousin to talk me back to being calm,how long can we go on like this in torture every day. Michael.

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I always feel better after a good cry. Talking to others can help but it depends on what they have to say. Be assured it will get better as time goes on.
Tx

Another heartbreaking day after a sleepness night this is torture donā€™t know how to carry on without my husband,I know you all feel the same,so lonely after 51yrs of marriage canā€™t cope without him,he was my life,canā€™t stand the long winter nights without him

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Yes me too,took 2 sleeping pills but still woke up very early,been to see my Doctor this morning and she was very supportive and kind.You are right about the torture,it never leaves you and drains you.I cannot cope wwithout my darling Judith,she was everything to me ,I like you are dreading the winter evenings all alone.What then are we supposed to do with what is left of our miserable lives.Michael.

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There is no answer your right our lives are miserable never been on my own before ,got upset this morning because a window wouldnā€™t open Steve would have sorted it no problem,Iā€™m now realising how much I depended on him,I never thought he would leave me not for years yet I canā€™t cope without him Iā€™m lost

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