It’s still such early days for you. I think the first few weeks people are numb. As the numbness wears off the waves still hit you and you feel it more. There will be some calmer times between the waves but they will keep on hitting for a long time. Take care and keep posting.
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Yes I fear the waves will keep coming for a long time. Had another dark day today. Went for a walk round southport lake one of Christine’s favorite walks I found no joy or comfort but felt I had to do it. I can’t spend my days avoiding the places we loved to visit together
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Going to be hellish as the clocks go back,dark nights,dark days ,lonelyness,just want her back please.
I continue to feel for your grief striken state. At least it will be lighter in the mornings after the clocks change. Do you have any family or friends you can talk to or go for a walk with. You will feel better but it takes time. Tricia
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I have family and friends but at the moment just want to be alone until the panic sets in then I phone someone.Will I feel better in time,who knows,how long have I got left to endure this pain and grief for the woman who made it all worthwhile.She has gone and taken my soul with her.My home is as empty as my heart.I am a broken man.Michael.
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I feel the same way my friend but we have to carry on to keep their memory alive. I have had a couple of black days just when I thought I was improving stay strong remember the good times you both shared
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I felt exactly as you do a few months ago but the veil of grief is lifting . I still cry and feel down but not all the time. I’m trying to see if anyone else locally needs the same sort of help. Yes, there are! All round me in my road there are people widowed and lonely. One of my positve thoughts is that David didn’t leave me or divorce me; he didn’t want to go.
Tricia
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I am having a hell of a day today,memories and reminiscing are killing me,consumed by grief again,cannot stop thinking about her ,always on my mind,how much did I love her ,to the moon and back.I keep looking at old photos from happy holidays to Greece and Italy and when we lived in Spain.She was always smiling,always happy,my beloved wife Judith whom I cherish ,my precious lovely wife .Oh how I miss her.
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I made two promises to Christine number one was no matter the problem I would never leave her. Number two was a joint promise was that the survivor would if the opportunity presented itself would seek happiness again
I kept the first promise for 43yrs but I am certain I will break the second and hopes she will forgive me
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I am trying but it is much too hard at the moment.I remember the good times but it just makes me worse,I want her back in my life .I am nothing without her,what am I to do,I do not make friends easily .
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Yes, you are something on your own. We all are. You speak eloquently about your wife and you communicate so well. 0
You do make friends. You’ve already made them on this forum There is a future for you but a different one. Nothing will take away the memories of our beloved partners. We will survive.
With love
Tricia
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Lovely reply Tricia,yes made some friends on here .Got up early went out for a drive and did some shopping,back home now at 0820am and alone again,went into my wifes room ,pulled the curtains and said hello darling as I always did but she is no longer there unless I just cannot see her laying there.So another day begins and must try to get through it without falling apart as with other days.You are all so supportive thank you.Michael.
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You are ten months behind me in bereavement terms. It is no time at all since your wife died, so you are bound to feel so distraught. It’s a measure of your love for her. If you hadn’t loved her/him it would be easy. These are the profound words uttered to me by my favourite step son shortly after David died.
I’ve been on my own today too but walked into the town and did some shopping.
Yesterday, a good friend’s husband was admitted to hospital very ill.
It all came back, that grinding feeling of grief but I had to be there to support her.
Did you do anything today after your early shopping trip? Do you have any interests that you could start up again?
Keep posting on here you are very articulate.
Tricia
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This week has felt so hard, I don’t know why, it’s been 10 weeks since my husband died and I feel so very lonely this week. I think the full enormity of being the sole parent to our kids, the responsibility of raising them, making all the decisions, looking after the house and still bringing in an income is too much. This week our toilet broke, the plumber says that the whole thing needs replacing. We had planned to get a new bathroom later next year but I shall have to do it sooner now, my decision to make. Took the kids to a convention we attend every year yesterday, I didn’t want them to miss out, but seeing all the things my husband loves, having someone to have a laugh and a gossip with, then coming home to a dark and lonely house. It’s all too much. I feel I have no one to talk to, when I speak to my mum she gets upset and I can’t deal with someone else’s grief and then I feel guilty. I due back at work beginning of November but I’m not ready, but when will I be? I don’t sleep well, but the doctor was very dismissive, they signed me off work by text until end of October, but where do I go now, how do I go on, I miss him so much
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You have us to talk to,I lost my dear wife 4 weeks ago and I too am in a dark lonely place.Cannot sleep even with the pills the doctor gave me.I have to scan my phone in order to call someone when the panic sets in,this is a terrible lonely now.I agree with you how do we go on when you miss them so much and life has no purpose anymore. Michael.
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Hello yes after my shopping trip I did a little bit in the garden,managed to eat something and then nothing but think about her all day again.I never imagined how this would be without her,not prepared but then who is.I live in this bungalow that has her mark all over it which is lovely but forever will remind me of her ,my wonderful beautiful wife whom I am going to miss every minute of every day. Michael.
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Took me hours to get to sleep last night even though I took a sleeping tablet,woke to this sick feeling in my chest,don’t feel like starting another day yet,just thinking of what Steve would be doing now,after being married all these years you miss the normality.Glad I can write on here at least you understand the depth of grief I am feeling.
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Have you tried counselling? They will listen and you don’t have to worry about upsetting them. I know exactly what you mean about having to make all the decisions alone and be there for the kids. I’m a similar age to you and have always been used to being part of a couple when making decisions etc. The enormity of living life in a different way now is horrible - and not something we would choose. I just keep plodding on knowing that my husband would want me to do what I can for our kids. Keep posting on here when you need to. Take care
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The pill worked for about 5 hours then I was awake until 7 am,another day of misery and crying and grieving ,it never ends,yes this sick feeling all the time,my chest was thumping this morning,missing her like crazy,I cannot see my surviving this the way I feel right now.So nice to talk to you.Michael.
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Michael,I have to admit I’m still in bed,can’t face the day,I will get up soon Steve would hate to see me like this.There isn’t any point in life anymore except for my family they are great but have there own families,It’s this awful ache in my chest,wont go away,it’s only been a few weeks since I lost Steve,I miss him ,dread the future.I must make an effort and get up
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