Heartbroken

The world has just stopped fir me, I lost my darling Mick 3 weeks ago, and the funeral is this Thurs, I need to do him proud speak in his honour, laugh at his old jokes talk about our wonderful years together, but inside I’m broken life doesn’t seem to have meaning, the pain is undescribable,
Are these normal feelings, I don’t lnow

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I wanted to make sure that my husband’s eulogy was personal but wasn’t sure that I could stand and speak so soon afterwards. I recorded the ecology onto disc and it was played at the funeral. It meant that I didn’t have to sit there feeling pressured to do it justice but I could say what I wanted people to hear.

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That is a lovely idea, I am sure your late husband would’ve been proud to hear you say your words.
I am going to read my eulogy and with Micks strength within me I hope I do him proud.
I have never felt such undescribable feelings and pain, its very raw to me and I doubt I’ll ever truly get over this loss.

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Debra, it’s such early days for you and me I suppose, six months in my case. But yes, it’s normal. We’re normal. We’ve loved deeply and we hurt the same. Hours, days, months, years it comes in waves. I’m sending you lots of strength and hugs to get through next Thursday. I decided to celebrate my husband’s life on that day and my family and friends said it was the ‘best’ funeral they had been to and they all left with a smile on their faces. So, good luck x

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Thank you for such comforting words, im praying Thursday goes as planned, yet then I’m praying it’s not real and I wake up out of this nightmare I’m living.
I’m so sorry about your loss and its lovely to hear your husbands day was so special.
Thank you so much for talking to me, hearing I am not alone yet feel it xxx

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Yes absolutely,these are normal feelings,I lost my dear wife 5 weeks ago today and I am shattered by it.You will feel broken and life has no meaning,I am having a terrible time trying to cope with my grief.You are not alone Michael…

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I am so sorry to hear about your loss, the world as we know it is no longer the same. There are no words that describe the pain of heartbreak and loss, my partners funeral is fast approaching and I am dreading that final goodbye, Deb

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Your feelings are normal no matter what they are & you’re very brave being able to stand up in front of people. I wrote something but couldn’t read it out, so someone read it for me. Our lives ended too, the life we should had led, the plans we had made shattered. Trying to find your way forward is tough, one day at a time, you do it, you don’t know how, but you do it.
Sending love & strength x

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I also could not do a reading at my wife’s funeral,I got the vicar to say what I wanted people to hear.Michael.

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Oh my dear how sad for you with the funeral coming I had that 2 weeks ago and it was very very sad,I cried loads for her ,kissed her casket and her picture,put some white rose buds on it as well,saying that final good bye was so heartbreaking,she was so beautiful,I will miss her every minute of every day now.Michael.

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Such heartbreaking times, I know I don’t ever want to let him go,

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Sending hugs & strength to you for Thursday. My husband was cremated the week before Christmas last year. We had a humanist ceremony & although she spoke the words everything she said was given by me. She did an amazing eulogy & then I read one of my husbands own poems ( he’d published a couple of poetry books as hobby ). It was a beautiful service ( during pandemic so limited numbers ) but it was my final goodbye to him as wasn’t allowed to be with him when he passed away in hospital. Knowing that the day was about him helped give me the strength to get through the service. I’d given the eulogy at my father’s service 6 months before this but actually wanted to listen to the tributes for my husband without worrying about standing up & keeping strong. Think of Thursday as a celebration of the love you both shared. Be thinking of you :broken_heart:

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How wonderful to read one of your husbands poems, micks funeral is going to be a humanist one, and I’m hoping it sums micks life perfectly, he believed in living life to the full and go for your dreams, I really loved that mañana still fo. How are you feeling now after the months have past

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To be honest Debra it’s still a bit of a rollercoaster. I’m learning to live again but think of him every day lots of times. I’m coping much better and can talk about him - sometimes even without getting emotional. It’s the little triggers that set me off. I had a big writing pad a d I sometimes write him letter. There’ll be instructions left for my daughter that when it’s my time they will be cremated with me. Also in here there’s a post “ songs”. I listened to them all and chose the ones I liked best and made a playlist with my husbands name. It took me an entire Sunday but sometimes I play it when so want to feel close to him. I’ve got a close circle of lovely friends and they include me in things but sometimes zI feel displaced - don’t belong anywhere​:face_with_hand_over_mouth:. I’m going back to where we used to live to scatter my husbands ashes at end of month. My daughter /hubby/grandson are taking me & we’re staying in a cottage for couple nights but it’ll be a bitter/sweet time. I feel I’ve got to honour my husband by living life again as he helped me become the person I am today. My memories hurt less /I cry less but appreciate happier memories now too as well as sad ones. Hope you will too at some point. Just be kind to yourself and cry if you feel like it. We only cry because we loved & were loved. :hugs:

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What a touching thing to do in honouring your husband and I hope you get peace when returning to your old place of living, you sound an extremely brave lady,

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@Debra61 I had a humanist funeral for my husband Scott on 14th October and everyone said it was lovely. It was all about Scott memories from his family, his children, friends and myself. I wasn’t brave enough to read out what I had written, but the humanist done it for me and she said it with heartfelt feelings.

Just go with each minute, you will feel broken and you will feel numb but you will get through it. It was one of the hardest days of my life and I didn’t think I would get through it, but I am sure that Scott sent me some strength as I really felt he was guiding me through every step.

Sending you as much strength and love as I can for Thursday, whatever happens your husband will be so proud of you remember that xx

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totally understand the statement- need to do him proud- its been 8wks since my husband died. I spent days/nights planning the funeral. I collated a movie that played half way through the service- photos of his life, then silly video of him singing, drunk with friends- I really wanted the service to be about him, all him. Crematorium was full and all said it was the nicest funeral they had been to- I know that sounds odd- but it really was full of love, laughter and tears… I did afterwards think I had done him proud- and that was comforting

i managed to read a short poem about him- it was hard- but I did it.
I did my hair- put my lippy on and tried to be the woman I know he loved… it was false in some ways- as the pain was rising inside- BUT i did it and you will do.
I had a panic attack when I got out the car at the crem- but one step infront of the other- you will do it- make him proud

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I had my husbands funeral yesterday
He passed away in his sleep at home. He hadn’t been poorly but had a massive cardiac arrest in his sleep. I woke up with my arm around him then I realised he was blue round mouth.
I can’t get to grips with what’s happened. He was my rock my world. I feel so empty today funeral went well and I did him proud.
How I move forward I don’t know. I hurt so much.

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My heart goes out to you, my partner had a brain haemorrhage and never regained consciousness one minute he was talking the next he went unconscious 5 hours later he slipped away, it is hard for us left behind to comprehend what has happened and the pain is just unbearable, but do think I’d rather feel this pain than him feeling pain . I can fully understand the hurt you feel, and I really don’t know how I’ll get through the funeral on Thursday, but for him I will, I’ll love him till the end of time

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It really is the worst pain ever. Its a nice way of thinking. They are free from pain it’s us left behind who hurt. I am all over the place at moment can’t settle to do anything. I can be watching TV but not know what’s going on. I try to read a book but again get to end of pages and nothing has gone in. It’s going to take a long time to feel normal again. I know I will love my husband till the day I die. Xx

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