Yes I think that is the very best we can hope for.The pain and grief will always be there,the heartache of not seeing Judith again still haunts me.I truly am lost without her and my days and nights just blur into each other.Wish she was still here with me to help me through the coming winter and long dark nights, Much love to you all Michael x
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I will never forget my husband the hard time is Xmas when you are together itās alright been with the family but you are still on your own and I do have bad days when I sit here and think about the good times we had together the holidays we had .I can remember Xmas last year after been out during the day and going back to a empty house .
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My husband loved Christmas & itāll never ever be the same. The first Christmas in 2019 was 5 days after he died so we just went through the motions numbly.
Last year was lockdown so I had lunch with my Mum after the traditional trip to see Derekās dad. This year Derekās dad has just passed away so thatās another part of Christmas gone, Derekās mum died several years ago. Thankfully Iāve still got My Mum & Iāve been invited to Derekās sisters & also my step-daughters but Iām going to spend it quietly with Mum again. She wonāt expect false happiness as she knows what itās like to lose the love of her life.
A time of year we spent weeks looking forward to has become a time of year that I canāt wait to see the back of.
Take care everyone itās a tough time x
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I too will never forget Judith my darling wife of 32 years,I too get the bad days and today is turning into one of those,never knew it would be her last Xmas last year.Hate it when you go out and come back to empty quiet house. Michael x
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Feel the same my husband was diagnosed feb but with Covid first chemo was may it might have helped hugs annie
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Sorry Debra, I hope everything went as well for you? I hope youāre doing ok, just put one foot in front of the other, thatās all we can do x
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Hi Debra, I sent a quick reply a little while ago but I just wanted to add that itās been around seven weeks for you now? Iāve just turned 7 months. I said that in the form of months for the first time recently instead of in weeks and days. Now that you have celebrated his life, how are you doing? I found the following few weeks difficult when people really didnāt know what to say or do and the visits became less. I hit rock bottom but let me just tell you that it will get better than you feel now. I talk to my George all the time, Iām surrounded by his photos, his woodwork our home that we renovated together and his love. I miss him every day but the wracking sobs are lets now, not every day and when I do cry, I feel like they are healing tears. Everyone is different I know but there will be light at the end of the tunnel for us all eventually x sending you lots of hugs and strength x
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Lovely to hear from you, the pain isnāt any easier I just feel numb, on the day of mick funeral I received the devastating news that my mum has been given less than 6 months, life is just going from bad to worse, im that numb I rarely cry anymore it feels like Iāve no emotion left, mick has taken a bit part of me with him so not much to look forward to anymore, Christmas is fast approaching my biggest dread, my first without him and my last with my mum 
xxxx
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Debra61 so sorry to hear that as well as the grief of losing your husband you have the sad news of your Mum Iām almost 2 years on from losing My Derek & our first grandchild was born sleeping in January this year & last month Derekās dad died, who Iād become very close to since losing Derek. Christmas is not far away & Iāve got all the decorations up as Derek was like a child at Christmas well we both were. The first Christmas 2019 was just a blur because he died just before it, last year was lockdown so I could spend it quietly with my Mum. This year Iām like you describe just numb, looking at Christmas as something to get through not enjoy. Iām lucky I still have my Mum but sheās also been very poorly this last year so I will spend it quietly again with her. The constant bombardment of Christmas adverts that seem to start earlier & earlier just make it harder.
Sending love & strength to everyone just trying to get through x
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Morning all on here ,I have to mute the Xmas adverts as soon as they come on,I will not be doing cards or presents this year as my wife Judith only passed away 9 weeks ago and Xmas will be something to get through as you say and not enjoyed as much as it used to be when we were all together with our partners.Judith spoilt me at Xmas with lovely food,lovely presents ,she loved Xmas and made it special. Much love to you all Michael x
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Oh Debra my heart goes out to you. Words canāt express the strength I want to send to you to help you through the next few months. Just try to remember that Christmas is only one day. Itās the quality of time that we get to spend with people who matter that is important. A first Christmas without your soul mate will be hard but hold on to your memories and let the tears flow. Thatās the only advice I can give you but you are in my thoughts. Sending virtual hugs 
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Hi Michael it is such a hard time of year & we get through as best we can in our own way.
I still donāt do Christmas cards as I canāt bear to send them just from me. One thing I do in honour of Derek at Christmas is donate what I would spend on all Cards & also presents to him & him to me. The donations go to our local hospice & food bank. I find that rewarding & this year there has been a Christmas present collection for families struggling so that was good to do too.
Take care & continue to post, I found this site late & I think it would have helped me get through the early times of despair had I shared sooner x
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So sorry debra itās horrible my husband died a year ago itās a bit easier donāt cry all day like I did at beginning but at least once every day take care of yourself annie x
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