@Ginger68 so sorry for your loss. After 38yrs in the forces you both deserved to have a long and happy retirement.
So very sorry xx
So sorry for your loss. X
@Ginger68 so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband at the end of December. He’d had not been retired long after 30 years as a police officer. He was 55 and I miss him so much. Sending hugs x
It’s shit isn’t it ! I lost my husband 15th April he had a heart sudden heart attack in our living room two days in ICU at Torbay hospital where I had to watch his life support being turned off , he was 65, we were together 24 years but only got married in 2022 after we “eloped to Gretna Green secretly driving up there from Devon , I feel robbed didn’t think I would be a widow age 56! X
We are second time around, our 10th wedding anniversary is 23rd August, 2 weeks from his funeral! He was married to his first wife for 22 years. I’m so envious of her!!! I’m in Teignmouth xx​:broken_heart:
Nick was my 3rd husband after two previous abusive marriages , I was his 2nd marriage after his wife ran off with a younger man! My ex husband was found dead in his flat in January (I felt nothing ) but he was the father of my son , and then 3 months later Nick dies , so my son lost his father and step Dad within 3 months ! Nick taught me the meaning on unconditional love and I realised how badly I had been treated in the past , he was my everything x
This is my first post. I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband passed suddenly from a heart attack on 27th April two days before retirement. I understand fully about feeling cheated of all the plans you’d made, it’s really painful. Take care
My husband was working right until he died , he was a job coach for adults with learning disabilities getting them into paid employment, he was going to retire next February when he would of been 66! Sudden heart attack on the 13th April then two days in ICU watching his life support being turned off on the 15th April . When I went to register his death at first they put job coach retired on certificate! I said he never got the chance to retire ! And I am 10 years off retirement age so have to continue to work
Ginger68,
So sorry to hear about your loss.
I too lost my wife in June 24, sudden cardiac arrest, at home., 56 her life cut too short.
The more I read on this site so many others lost loved ones in there prime just when they were about to take things easy, I was just about to retire no point now the is no one th share my life with so will just carry on working
Second marriage for my husband. His first wife died suddenly in 2012. First time marriage for me. The love of my life passed away on 26th June. We would have celebrated our 10th anniversary on 30th August. I feel like all the life has been sucked out of me. Nothing has any meaning. There’s no point to anything anymore. I’m trying to get on with the things that need to be done but the tears keep flowing and I just seem unable to stop them.
I miss him so much it’s indescribable. Words just can’t explain the heartbreaking feeling of emptiness. It’s a long, dark tunnel and I can’t see a light at the end of it.
I understand that everyone on here is going through their own terrible time and I send love and hugs 
Sending a big hug xx
@Ginger68 I’m so sorry for you loss life is so very cruel…I lost my fiance Chris on the 10th may aged 48, he died in my arms from a massive heart attack, he was a military man too, light infantry, as absolutely heartbreaking as it was, his funeral was an incredible tribute to him and how he served his country 
we were due to marry on the 5th September, one minute we are planning our honeymoon and the rest of our lives together, the next minute I’m saying goodbye to him forever I’ve only just accepted he’s gone, because I had to, because carrying so much pain was making me ill, there’s no magic wand, no time limit, all we can do is fight through this horrendous blow we have been dealt…much love xx
Elkira,
Sorry for your loss.
That’s correct we have to accept it, no other real option.
Yes a horrendous blow we are dealt however there can be no return no matter how bad it is,
For me personally, and I expect also the same for many others. I lost my world on that tragic day and it will never return I do and all ways will love her to the day I die.
I don’t know what other things are in store for me in this life, however one day I will meet her again and eventually be reunited.
So sad for you.
Everyone on here completely understands- take heart from that.
Me too - I had my husband just 7 years and his first wife 20. But you have to remember that you are and will always be his greatest love. It’s the hardest thing to know he was snatched from you in the prime of your relationship with so much still to do and be. I’m so sorry for your loss.
My husband died on 29th March 2024. 20 weeks on the pain is sharp and always there underneath everything I do.
These are the things which have made it easier for me.
Talking with other widows and widowers.
Looking back up photos and remembering good times.
Taking flowers and sitting by his grave.
Saying yes, when people invite me to do something.
Going back to work to try and do something a bit more normal.
Having some counselling
Joining a ladies choir
Reading our WhatsApp messages from the start and reliving the romance as it began.
Sharing a play list on here with a group - and listening to music which spoke to me.
Staying busy.
I have been told by other people who are 2, 5 even 20 years on - This is the worst club in the world, and this will never go away for the rest of your life. But you will learn to live with it somehow, some way and at some point in your life.
I cling to this hope:
He is always with you, even more than he ever was but, now it’s in a different way.
I can’t possibly go back to work! I was a ward-based physiotherapist in a community hospital, working with mainly Care of the Elderly…….and now I don’t care!!! How can I care about people in their 90’s who no longer want to be here when my husband should have had at least another 30 years!!! Life is so cruel and now meaningless!!
Not everything is right for everyone. And indeed going back to work doesn’t sound like it would be a good thing for you.
When I went back, and I work in a special-needs school, I spent weeks hating everyone because the world was carrying on.
And 100% I would never have made it back to work after 5 weeks. Or doing proper duties.
These were just things that helped me in the hope that maybe something might be supportive to you. And I left off the walk in nature.
I’ll be honest the first few times I went out I could’ve cheerfully taken a shotgun to the Singing birds for just being alive!
Ginger68,
Totally agree my wife was 56, she should have had 30+ more years left there is nothing fair in life and I hate that fact.
We are mere mortals with no guarantees, or rights, and just go on until we too pass.
Fairness etc has no place in this world.
I work for a coach holiday company so we mainly get “elderly” people staying at our hotel ! Have been duty manager for 32 years , so I have to sort out “problems “ trouble is now when I have a “couple “ in their 90’s who are moaning about how they haven’t got the same room this year !! I have snapped “at least your still getting to go on holiday together ! Sod the room ! And sod their problems ! I am back in work reduced shifts and try not do too many “duty manager “ shifts cos I get it ! I don’t care either !! X
