Jane15,
Well said I agree with your comments.
I am due to go back to work and have decided will just go and see what happens, because just like you I don’t care either.
Nothing can be anywhere near to been as bad as we constantly feel, so I will go and it may help me it may not either way who cares not me anymore.
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Yep and when I am sat at my desk looking all miserable and you get that comment “cheer up it may never happen “ ! I once said “it already has , my husband had a heart attack and died at my feet “ ! Unprofessional of me I know ! But that’s how it makes you feel !
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I wasn’t going to post on here again - trying to be big and brave and cope - not working.
It’s just 7 weeks today the love if my life left me. Sitting here in floods of tears - it’s so final, so heartbreaking 
.
I know I have to live with it - I don’t need to be told. Thing is, I don’t want to live with it. I want to be with that one person who I loved more than words can say, who I miss than I ever could imagine. There’s just no point to anything. There’s no-one to talk to. No-one to share things with. No-one to go shopping with. No-one to enjoy going round the garden centre with. I feel like my life ended the day he passed away. People tell me “you’ll get used to it”. Thing is, do I want to I get used to it - NO I DON’T. Please don’t tell me I have no choice 'cos I know that.
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Awww Harriet i feel your pain and sadness, i am not much further along then you Gra died just over 8 weeks ago. Am i coping no do I want thisbpain of course not. But what choice have we . I wish with all my neart i couls offer you more. But all i do know is that I have to try as he would be so annoyed at me, he fought so hard to be here with me. Even fought sephis twice once after been put on end of live. So i am trying but struggling i cry all the time nothing in life seems important anymore. Hugs jo xxx
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All I can say is “ditto “ I am 17 weeks in and I agree with everything you say , I am 56 nick was my 3rd lucky hubby after two previous abusive marriages that’s how I know he was the one ! Together 24 years and only got 17 months of marriage after we “eloped “ to Gretna Green “ I was still getting use to calling him my husband I waited so long ! So ditto I feel robbed !! X💔
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Thank you jevncute. I know we’re all going through the same thing. Like you say, my Bill would not want me to be like this. I think he’d want me to get on with things but at the moment I haven’t got the will to do anything. Just keep thinking “what’s the point”.
Sending you love and hugs 
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Gra was my second husband, my first husband Steve died in 2005 from a dvt , i met Gra in a widow and widowers chat room on aol and although he was 16yrs olde than me ,he made my life complete i never thought i would smile again after Steve but Gra made me smile feel loved and cared for. We would have been married 16trs together almost 19 , he moved from oxford to Hull as I suffer from agrophobia. He was so loving I cant help feeling I was robbed again and what have I done that they jeep taking the people I love from me. Hugs Jo xxx
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I understand that Harriet I truly do everything seems pointless. I keep trying to do things but my mind wanders and I find myself again sat in floods of tears. Hugs Jo xxx
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Oh, Jane 15. I am so sorry for your loss. I think I can understand why you feel robbed.
Bill and I were married for almost 10 years. (his first wife died suddenly in 2012). It feels like I’d only just got used to writing birthday and Christmas cards to friends signing both our names and now I have to go back to just my name and the tears come with every card I’ve sent since he passed away. 
Love and hugs to you
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Huge hugs 
I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words 
all of our journeys are heartbreaking. I’ve not felt as alone since joining this group. I hope it helps you to.
Sending all my love in these incredibly early and raw days.
Love Jen xx
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You have just summed up my exact take on my job. I to, work with elderly people who do not want to be here. And I don’t care!! Harsh, but I don’t care.
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We understand so please don’t feel you can’t post on here.
Sending a big, big hug.
Love,
Rose xx
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I understand that Harriet please believe me nothig as any point anymore. Why clean up why get a shiwer why eat. Theres only me thats going to notice. Its the most awful psin imaginable. Hugs Jo xxx
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Your doing all of those things for you Jo 
You are also a human life with a heartbeat. Keep going, you can do this xx
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I am trying JD I truly am but life seems so pointless at the moment no joy no happiness just tesrs and lonilness. Hugs Jo xxx
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I know what you’re saying but I wanted to do things for my husband and me, together. Doing stuff for myself seems pointless. It has no meaning any more.
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I feel the same, I don’t suffer with acrophobia my love but I do with major anxiety, it’s completely disabling and so I’ve isolated myself away from everyone. Your journey is obviously different to mine, and my heart goes out to you, but you are a human, with thoughts and memories and a personality. You’ve lived and clearly loved deeply, hence why your pain is so deep. Keep on going my love, One hour at a time. Life is shit, it’s hard, but can it get any worse?
Love Jen XX
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I know I hate the world and want to scream, run away, I want to be with him. But would we be with our loved ones?? That is an uncertainty that none of us know.
Keep going, Jen x
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Aww Jen thank you for understanding yes Anxiety is awful if you dont suffer you dont understand it and its so hard to explain to ppl how you feel. Yes i loved Gra with all my heart he was my world my future my all being. Now he as gone. Life ids shit it truly is. He understood me helped me loved me for me. Now i am so lost. My family dont offer no support. Xxx
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Yes i feel the same do you believe they walk beside us each day. Xx
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