So sorry to hear that and so sorry that your family are not happy to spend the week with her. Their grief is so different they cannot comprehend what keeps us afloat. My little dog was my best friend (next to my husband) but he died 18 months before my husband. I still grieve for my dog alongside my husband. Both died so suddenly it is tragic and although I keep going for our kids and grandson’s each day takes an enormous effort.
I am hoping that your family might reconsider before you cancel Cornwall.
Hi Chrissy. I am also nearly at 8 weeks and reading your more recent post it sounds like you are feeling a bit better at the moment as I am. I also have started talking to my husband in a positive way. Before I was saying things like why aren’t you here and how much I missed him but now I am telling him about my plans for the day and what I have been up to. Last week was a bad week but this week I feel a bit lighter. I hope it continues. I know it would hurt him to know I was suffering too much for too long. I will have moments of tears as I have now but there is plenty to be grateful for and joyous about and the sun is shining today. What is wonderful about this forum is the honesty of mostly women who are able share their feelings. Well done the few men who contribute. I have gained such strength from my women friends and am getting pleasure from reconnecting and spending time with them.
Thanks for understanding Sheila26. I have until the end of October to decide. I made the booking in the early days. I just wanted to do something special as we couldn’t have a proper funeral. People say you shouldn’t make any decisions for a while and they were right. I am so sorry that you’ve had a double loss. It just adds to the loneliness.
I am so glad your feeling a bit better at the moment, I think we need to have better moments to help us cope when it’s not so good. We need to be kind to ourselves too, it’s ok to be angry, to shout, to cry, but its also ok to smile, laugh, and be joyous, I’m pleased your connecting with your female friends and gainning pleasure from them. You are quite right there is plenty to be grateful for, my husband was a very handy DIY man who did plenty around the house, so now when I’m cleaning I’m chatting to him about the time he put up that shellf or added a fitted cupboard, I tell him how much I love it and appreciate all he did, he is in everything in our home, the memories of places we bought things from. Yes, sometimes the tears flow with the memories, but I am finding I’m able to remember more with ease now, unlike the first weeks when nothing mattered or helped. I hope your lightness continues, thank you for your comforting words, it is nice reading how others cope . Bless you all and thank you, your definitely helping. Hugs Chrissy3
I will be hoping that they see the importance of what you are trying to do for the family. That was why I also booked the cottage. I assume like yourself the funeral was subject to Covid restrictions. We had 25 at funeral and 15 at the crem. There was no wake afterwards but to be honest I do not think I would have coped with it.
Will keep my fingers crossed that things work out.
Thank you Sheila, they have to deal with it in their own way and Bella is a big, nervous, partially sighted dog so they are concerned about the children. It wasn’t the funeral we would have hoped for. No family because of shielding and travel restrictions. Just the children and myself. No wake although we did have a small remembrance get together a couple of weeks later in my son’s garden as that was all that was allowed. I left an hour later though.
hi chrissy3 im new to this but i lost my partner of 18 yrs in dec 2020 again covid, ive been told it gets easier to come to term with the loss of a partner but this was from a man who lost his partner of 45 yrs 14 yrs ago he was 87 yrs olld he also said that you never forget it just gets easier to accept, myself im struggling at the moment so understand your grief im 7 months into my grief
I wonder when this all stops, I am still working till October then I was going to retire but now I’m going to work two days a week has been on my own seven days a week just feels Unbearable my Michael in December last year 2020 I have just grown to enjoy my own company I’m not saying it’s healthy put talking to people and making conversation can become difficult what there’s not much to talk about I don’t look at over people thinking their grass is greener, but sometimes you just miss your life as it was , also my tv has become my best friend, l feel it’s easier, and I wonder if your true character comes out when you’re not with somebody you love, If that’s the case I’m a recluse….
In tears reading your message. It completely resonates with how I am feeling. I lost my Sue, my best and only friend 7 weeks ago and I am broken. I have been outside the house 4 times since her death and that was to visit the vet with the cat. I have food delivered and completely avoid people. I am (fortunately?) retired but also feel so alone. I look at my FB page hoping someone might reach out but doesnt often happen. I have nothing up here and my family are 420 miles away in Manchester. Lost beyond all understanding. Take care Les2 and the only consolation I can offer is that others are experiencing something similar but I’m not sure knowing that helps.
I’m sorry to hear of your loss, people also tell me , in a meaningful way I’m sure that it does get easier, I think the loss of a partner is very different, I have seen both my parents and a brother go, it was very upsetting , and I miss them all, but it was never as bad as this is, its like half of you died with them, your everyday life is not the same, today its 2 months, I know very early days for me still, so I’m not expecting much change, the tears still fall at the most unexpected times, your 7 months is also still very early, so be kind to yourself allow your grief, we have to go through to get through, not that I believe we will ever got through, I don’t see an end, but I do believe it will get easier to handle, there will always be days that’s hard, but hopefully days we can enjoy too, it’s reassuring to hear others say they understand your grief, I’m only sorry that it’s because they too have experienced the same, this site is very helpful, I’ve found reading what others have been through and are going through very helpful, and writing to others, expressing your thoughts or feelings can be helpful to some. So keep communicating in what ever way helps you, take care, hugs Chrissy3
Dear Bishop. I’m so sorry for your loss and pain. You are so new to this horrific journey. Is there any way you can arrange time to spend with your family? The interaction and diversion will be very helpful at this time. You can’t lock yourself away. You need to be “amongst the living” now. I myself reach out to people because I know I have to keep active or I’ll die.
Yes, like you one of my sons lives in Scotland with my only grandson who l haven’t seen in 2 years because of Covid, and now Micheal gone, [he did the driving] l live in Wigan, my son in fife, l have try local driving on the motorway and my goodness it’s scary…so how am l supposed to drive all the way up there, it’s early days for you it is scary and frightening but you do get to a point Of maybe I would say acceptance of them gone, And just happens one day to be honest, the pain for me with grief was so hard l just put Michael in a box in my head, and l can live with that, for the moment , lots if hugs
keep telling myself I have to move on but so so difficult. I’ve been married before and had broken relationships etc but this pain is unimaginable. Sue was able to see our great-grandson (18 months old) just weeks before she died which was heart-warming. I haven’t seen my own daughter for over 2 years (Stockport). My other daughter is coming up in couple weeks.
ps my first wife was from Orrell and I went to school in Upholland. Small world. Take care and thanks.
Hi everyone, im new to this site. Have been reading through a d I find comfort and some despair while reading… Ots early days… Lost my larter 2 weeks ago, st home, unexplained seizure. A healthy and fit young man.
We were due to msrry in 2 months, been together almost 9 years.
Ive been through breakups before… Bit this os something else.
I know darker days are coming im not looking forward to it… So maby memories and miles stones of birthdays and would be wedding day.
Aswell as sorting finances out.
I cant quite beleive this has happened to me and our family.
I hope I can find some comfort with you all and offer if I can.
I’m really sorry Nadia1. What a tremendous, unbelievable shock. The only thing I can say is that we all on here share your pain, it’s a physical and emotional torture. You will go through a roller coaster of emotions, some days will be worse than others. I think sometimes that the finances and paperwork actually helped to numb me for a few weeks. Then the reality set in. Keep posting here when you can and when you need to. Someone will always be able to offer some comfort or just a listening ear.
I to am feeling so devastated ,lost my husband three months ago ,I also read other posts to try to understand the awful process of grief.My thoughts are with everyone going through this terrible time x
Im also new to this site amd just knowing thwre is somewhere to reach out is such a help. Its such an awful unfair process we have to go through. You never really know until you habe to deal with it. Keep talking and writing and we can all help each other x
