Hello everyone!

Losing a partner
1

Just popped back to say a big “hello” to all of you! :revolving_hearts:

I haven’t been on here since last June. On the 6th of June I received a phone call from a local hospital stating “ my brother had become acutely ill & I needed to come immediately “ Can I just note; this is 10 months since losing my Martin! “To cut a long story short; my brother had gone into acute heart failure? Never smoked, doesn’t drink, at the Gym everyday?!! What I walked into that evening,will stay with me forever…:pensive:

So, fast forward 8 long days, 3 separate ICUs here in Belfast ( the last was the worst; exactly where my Martin was just 10 short months earlier?) I WAS DEVASTATED!!!

So, Thomas was airlifted to The Freeman in Newcastle; I was on a flight following him…

Anyway, it transpired he needed an urgent heart transplant???!!! My brother had Non Hodgkins Lymphoma back in 2017; the Chemo wrecked his good, good heart…:pensive: It’s just not fair…

Fast forward to today; my brother has a new heart!!! & is going amazingly well!! ( he should have a fab club at TheFreeman!) :joy:

I moved over to Newcastle to stay with him, he’s my wee Brother, how could I not (I adore him!) :two_hearts:

We are now back in NI; he has to visit every two weeks for checks (his transplant was the 11th of September) I decided to stay with him as the first 3 months as the checks are every week!

What I’m trying to say is; I did ALL of this on my own! Good God, did I miss my Martin! Hell, yes! Every second of every day!! But, I felt in my soul; my Martin saved someone with his amazing, good heart… this was paid forward…:revolving_hearts: to Thomas…:mending_heart:

My grief is my constant companion, although, I think, we’ve made friends… that may sound strange, but in this new year, I cannot live in constant misery, so I’ve been clearing out my house; three skips later! Re-decorating as I’ve decided to sell up…

This life is a constant battle, tbh… sometimes I think “ what have I done to deserve this?!” But as my Martin always said “ deserve has got nothing to do with it!!” I wish you all peace & hope on our journey…

Much love
Dottie xx❤️‍🔥

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What a story thank you for sharing. Wishing you well you are very brave.
Hugs :two_hearts:

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Hello Dottie
I remember you as I lost my Jim 10mths ago too. Like you I only popped back on here recently to see how everyone is. Strange isn’t how we are no longer recently bereaved, although it feels like yesterday but like you I have become friends with grief as I refused to allow it to destroy me.
I have had other losses and sorry to hear about your brother but glad he’s doing ok now.
Wow you are on the move, that’s a big decision, are you staying in Ireland?
So lovely to hear from you
Lyn x

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Hello lovely! Well, the 7 months I spent in NC, although challenging, fell in love with the City! So, seriously considering a move to there!

Sending massive hugs! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: xx

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Thank you so much, big hugs :hugs: xx

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Oh can I just add! My brother is back at the Gym! He’s an inspiration!! Xx​:smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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This was Thomas 2 weeks post transplant!!! Xx🥰

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Hi Dottie, he looks Amazing and yes a true inspiration xtake carex

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@Dottie72 @Sarlyn - hello - so good to hear from you both in this thread - one where you bring hope to others earlier in grief - that there is a way through the darkness, to lighter times. Our loved ones lost to us will always matter so, so much and we take them with us in our hearts as we wake every morning to the new life we have now. Thank you for posting and for being such a support to us all on here xx

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@Vancouver ditto back to you too. You have also shown us all there is light and hope for the future and possibly a new love/relationship. Hope it’s all going well lovely. Lyn x

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@Sarlyn - my news from my new relationship is … we are planning trips, togetherness and… a ride on a tandem bike! I think that is a good image - us both, wobbling off together on a bicycle made for two. I am hopelessly unfit - so think of me, red-faced, in the rear, as we make our way around the country lanes! Loads of love - and thank you for being my friend on here xx

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How amazing. Be nice someone just able to do things with.
I’ve been snipping my hair.Something started in pandemic. Just carried on. Made myself healthy meal trying to eat five a day. Trying to get mojo up. Little challenges compared with younger people I know. After covid and no energy even little things are helpful. I have to try and achieve something new today. Ladt time I tried to use an ATM machine it wouldn’t work. So long since I tried. Sounds silly really but when confidence gets low all these things feel like huge obstacles.

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Haha the image is full of fun, trepidation and adventure, you just have to hold on tight and you know how to do that. I didn’t even know tandems still existed. I would be a nightmare on one lol xx

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@Dottie72 so lovely to hear your news. Such an uplifting story and such an achievement for you. I’m a year on 29th and also about to put the house on the market. Life is good. I live with grief and have learnt to accept it’s presence and give it the time it needs when it pushes me but overall life is worth living again.
Good luck with the house move. I find it daunting but so has the last year and I got through that.
Best wishes to you. Your Martin will be very proud of you, I’m sure x

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Where are you moving dottie … near your brother ? Take care …ive had similar idea myself about moving just dunno where i would move tbh … maybe near the sea on the east coast of england ? Would like to live near the sea. My husband always loved the sea :slight_smile: xx

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Thank you! The very best of luck with your move… big hugs! Dottie xx​:smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Whilst living in Newcastle, I’ve fallen in love with the city! Thomas and I stayed near the Quayside and it’s wonderful!

So, that’s where I think I want to go, the good news is my fabulous brother is coming with me! Tbh there is nothing keeping me in Northern Ireland, Thomas feels the same… big hugs! Dottie xx🥰

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Hi Dotty you seem to be in a much better place now im so pleased for you and glad your bk in touch with us all.I often wondered how you were xxx

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Thank you! Big hugs xx​:hugs::hugs::hugs:

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