Help - another loss

Hi all

Cant believe I am sat here writing this. In January 2023 I lost my Dad to cancer. 4 short months later my Dad’s mother (my grandmother) died by, well, pretty much drinking herself to death. It was the worst time of my life. Fast forward to Jan 2024 and I have been excited for a fresh start. Ready to put last year behind me. A lovely Christmas and New Year, after what was hell last year. I was doing better, and had come off my anti depressants, thriving at work and starting to feel more “normal” (ish!).

Today, I wake up with a phone call from my Mum. My Stepdad died this morning of a sudden heart attack at home. He was fit and healthy, not overweight. Didn’t drink or smoke. I feel sick and I don’t know how I can get through this. The worst part is that my Mum is ill herself and is incredibly vulnerable. I now have the weight of her grief and future on my shoulders and its destroying my soul. They weren’t married, my Mum is in debt and its a mess. I’m trying to take it hour by hour and not overthink it too much right now but its hurting me so much. There is only so much someone can take. I don’t understand why this happened. And its messed up but I feel cursed? Why do people I really love and care about keep dying?


I’m so sorry for your losses, @Pippa700. I can hear the pain in your post and want you to know you are not alone. @Ljfrost007 has also experienced a lot of loss and just shared this thread - maybe you can connect with each other.

As you say, your grief as well as your mum’s is so much to have on your shoulders. You might find our supporting someone else information helpful to read. With the practical side of things, your mum may want to get in touch with Stepchange, who provide advice and support on debt and money problems.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but hopefully these links are helpful right now.

Take good care,

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