@ Rockstar, Big hug to you… Very sad to see your cry, Yes, it is very hard, I do not know what to do, and it has been over two years now. All I know is just do what you can, not necessary the same standard as before. If you need to cry, scream, curse, and look for spiritual meanings, they are all good.
After reading many widowed posts in the net, the grieving seems to continue, for we cannot ever forget them, neither should we. Some of us would go onto other relationships, and some of us would have friends yet remain single for the rest of our lives.
Stay with us… watch some interesting movies, have a warm bath, adopt a pet, they are not permanent fixes, only temporary means to make us feel little better, safer and survive.
The grieving continues and it’s deeply sad, empty and painful.
We can help ease the pain by being here, share, read, listen and support one another as best we can.
Take good care of yourselves everyone X
@Angel1309 I feel for you … it is so hard, right now, my first year was horrible, my heart was literally in physical pain in additional to my emotional suffering for about 2 years…So you just hang on, and keep coming here, we all support each other here. I am new here too. Do whatever you can to get through the days, even it means to go out and meet people, but always guard your heart… I found out that we need to be extra careful as widows and widowers. People can sense our vulnerability. Above all, I found that having widowed friends are really helpful, because we understand each other, and can share tips and encouragement. The widowhood is a special tribe. Big hug to you.
@LolaA it is harder than we can imagine.
I can resonate with every thing you’ve said!
I am only 8 months in, have already realised how extra careful I must be. It’s exhausting to have to be on guard right now on top of trying to grieve for my beloved. I have to be totally careful about everything I say or do even, sadly, to the nearest & dearest and it saddens me so deeply! We are truly grieving on our own although people keep saying they know how we feel - not really I don’t think they know the depth of our grief and how deeply it affects us physically, emotionally and mentally
Cheers to widowhood! We understand each other, we share our pain & we support each other as long as we need to.
Back soon
Big hugs & Take care X
@angel1309 I can relate to your concerns to be extra careful. My husband died 3 months ago and I’ve already had to stand up for myself regarding finances. Some companies have tried to pull the wool over my eyes, but I stood my ground and now receive the pension my husband expected I would
Well Christmas is almost over - then there will be New Year! Oh how I miss my darling - 70 years together. So much luckier than a lot of people I know to have had him so long but that doesn’t ease the pain. I read all these messages and they do give me comfort. My love and hugs to everyone x
First and foremost, I am so sorry about the loss of your partner. Like you, I feel it is the most painful of losses, much different than losing a parent, sibling, aunt or uncle. You have described my feelings exactly. On November 28, 2023, I lost the love of my life for the past 22 years. At this point in my grief, I’m not sure how I’ll go on. The flood of emotions is overwhelming—immense sadness, feeling lost, fearful, depressed, anxious, and just complete devastation. I was always a person who made all my own decisions. Now, I feel total incapability. And my situation is also complicated by the required interactions with my partner’s adult children from a prior marriage. Not to mention, it’s the holiday season. We will get through this, but time, patience and self-care are necessary for healing to happen. My heart goes out to everyone enduring such pain, but my hope is the experience will make us better human beings.
Hi @Linda45
I mean as a widow overcome by loss, sadness, emptiness loneliness etc., I find myself being very emotional and in a vulnerable position and most of the times not able to make a clear decision I would otherwise in a normal circumstance, hence I try to be extra careful in what I say and do. Besides, living alone can be an easy target for all kind of unsavoury people, I always look over my shoulders when approaching my front door to get inside.
I am just trying to look out for myself as much as I can by being extra vigilant. I used to feel so protected when my angel was around but now I feel so exposed!
Best wishes,
X
@Retired2 so true, I had a first meeting with the bank and afterwards walking home in tears thinking he would not have said a lot of things if my angel was by my side- how rude and condescending some people can be to a lone woman!
I did not receive the pension I had expected as was told he had contracted out for a period.
Take care X
I spent Christmas with my best friend and her family, cheerful on the outside but crying so much on the inside throughout the holiday! I missed being together during Xmas miss him now and will miss him forever.
Hope everyone has a bright and positive New Year as you can.
Hugs X
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my beloved 8 months ago and, like you I was numb, totally lost and devastated not knowing how I was going to get through each day without him.
8 months in, it’s still hard, dreading the next day every single day. I try to keep busy which helps a little but life now is about doing the day to day things coexists with the feeling of deep sadness, emptiness and loneliness - I believe it’s the new ‘normal’ for me from now until the day I join him.
Take good care of yourself X
Hi @Angel1309
Christmas Day over and i mudt admit it was my 1st and pretty hard to get through the last few days on my own but i did. There were lots of tears and missing him daily
Now to get through New Year and usually we would see in ths new year together wishing each other Happy New Year this year i will wish him happy new year to him but not hear him saying it back to me.
I know wherever he is he will be saying it i just wont here it.
Sending hugs
Lynne Xx
hello, i know exactly how you feel, my husband died on the last day of aug. this year, he had been diagnosed with lung cancer 7 years ago, so he had done very well, right up to the last 2 weeks, which where so awful. i have the trappings of christmas around me, but not the one person i really want, we had been part of each others lives for 52 years and i miss him so very much,i did go out christmas day to one of my daughters, and again on boxing day, but it was so very hard, all i wanted to do was cry and be on my own, i do have a lovely dog, she loves me, but she adored my husband,so we are sad together. i really do not know if it will ever get better, it is early days for you and me, but i pray there will be a time when we can remember with joy and not tears… please take care… maureen.x
Hi @Angel1309, now I understand what you mean. I have been lucky to have my folks with me so far, so havent faced the world alone yet, without my love beside me.
yes, we have to be extra vigilant.
Take care.
My Xmas day was spent with my daughter and her family. My son in law was wonderful, insisting on doing all the cooking. I had laid a place at the head of the table for my late husband and my son in law raised his glass and made a beautiful toast to him. Most importantly he said we should remember all the great Xmas days we spent with Philip and keep him in our hearts. I found great comfort in that. My daughter is still not able to talk to me about her Dad as she gets too upset, but we both hugged each other so tight, there was no need for words. I hope everyone on this forum managed to get through the last few days . My new year will be down with my son on the coast. My son is so like his Dad. At the funeral/wake my heart skipped a beat as I thought I saw my husband at the bar, but it was my son. So he lives on in our children and grandchildren. Wishing everyone a better 2024:broken_heart:
Hi Lynne. I am sorry that you spent Christmas Day & Boxing Day in tears - but I think you could just look back and be proud that you did manage to get through it alone! It’s an achievement really.
I will be spending time alone on New Years Eve too and feeling quite apprehensive at the moment don’t really know how I will cope but will try to be brave and face it! After all, I will have to face it every year anyway so might as well start now and try to get used to it. We too used to say Happy New Year to each other every year for the past 37 years together - I will say it to him too and hope that he can hear me wherever he is I hope that he is happy and wishing me Happy New Year too. I love and miss him so much Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day and every day and will do so for the rest of my life.
Hope you have a peaceful New Years and a positive 2024 as you can.
Hugs X
Hi @Linda45 you have been very lucky indeed to have your love ones around.
Being alone is hard and the quietness is so hard to bear. No one I can ask what do you think or what shall we do? Total responsibility in the house is mine alone and the word ‘overwhelming’ is an understatement. My angel used to take care of everything and I used to feel so safe and so protected - now I feel totally exposed😩.
I hope your New Year will be full of the people that you love around you and that you have a good time as you can.
Take care X
Ive just recently lost my husband, it was a complete shock and i feel so lost without him , i cant see a way forward, all our plans just taken away. Im 56 years old and a bit if a closed book, i dont really talk i tend to keep it all inside.
How lovely and beautiful to have such supportive daughter, son, son in law especially during this hard time. Family support is invaluable and I am pleased that you are surrounded and supported by your nearest and dearest. I have a daughter living in East Sussex near the seaside but she keeps two cats and a dog - I am allergic to both so cannot visit
I hope you have a wonderful and peaceful New Year at your son’s as you can.
Take care X
X
and how deeply it affects us physically, emotionally and mentally 
miss him now and will miss him forever.