Hi I’m new to all this. Not sure what to expect as we are all in the same boat. I lost my partner to Pancreatic cancer just before Xmas. Diagnoses to passing in two weeks . No symptoms other than back ache and tummy pain occasionally a month before . All I can say is I’m totally lost and struggling. His family are amazing but able to move on with their memories. We haven’t been together long and found each other after divorces . It’s a cruel world. So many plans now gone . He was my absolute soulmate . I’m completely empty 
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@Millicent-bystander I’m so sorry for your loss. It has been no time since you lost your love so there will be so many raw emotions right now. I lost my wonderful husband 5 weeks ago aged 56. Grieving for the future you should have had is very hard and I find it difficult doing things, I feel he’s ‘missing out’ on. There are so many wonderful people on here who will support you, you only have to drop a message. Take care of yourself and know you’re not alone in this, we’re with you x
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Thank you so much. It’s amazing how alone you feel. My partner was only 54 and his birthday is in February. I keep looking for signs he is with me and I don’t seem to have them. Feel like I’m going crazy to be honest. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s absolutely heartbreaking trying to care on as normal. Thanks so much for your kind words . Means so much x not having a good day today. Crying so much x
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@Millicent-bystander you need to let the tears flow if they need to, yesterday we had a birthday tea for our little Granddaughter and I spent a lot of it holding the tears back because her Grandad should have been there, today I’ve had a good cry and let it all out. It’s healthy to cry and release some of that built up emotion, as long as you pick yourself up afterwards and start taking more tiny steps forward, a day at a time. Talking and sharing always helps I think so remember to message when you need to x
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@AlliH
Yes I hold it all in all week at work so weekends and evenings are my worst xx
Your poor family and granddaughter too. So hard for everyone .
Thanks again for being so kind. Really needed it today. I miss him terribly everyday xx
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@AlliH Thank you so much. Here for you too if I can help in any way . Not sleeping so well x Are you ? Eating hard too x
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@Millicent-bystander I find I’m only eating because I know I have to, not really feeling like it tbh, although I do binge on things I shouldn’t eat really crisps, cakes, biscuits, feel a bit sick most of the time, but I know I have to eat. Sleeping isn’t too bad, I have a hot water bottle wrapped in one of my husband’s jumpers next to me so it doesn’t feel so cold and empty and a soft blanket he had in hospital on his pillow. Sometimes it’s nice to get into bed, I close my eyes and imagine he’s there, gives me a little comfort xx. How about you?
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@AlliH Oh wow that’s a lovely idea. My partner was living at his sisters house. Trying to pluck up the courage to ask for something of his . It’s very difficult x
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@Millicent-bystander do you have a good relationship with his sister, I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt to ask x
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@AlliH Yes we get on with her . It’s just I’m not a confident person. I’m an over thinker and worry I will upset someone by asking . I’m a hopeless case x
@Millicent-bystander not hopeless at all. I’m sure if you get on she knows how much you loved your partner and will be happy to let you have something, I find it a real comfort. Be brave and ask, try not to overthink it x
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@AlliH Big girl pants on! I doubt myself now he is gone . He was so special. He was literally the other half of me. Wasn’t looking for anyone and there he was xx
Thanks for giving me some strength and sorry I’m having a bad day. Let’s see what tomorrow brings xx
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@Millicent-bystander well done, let me know how you get on. I know exactly I have been with my husband since we were 15, my love and best friend. Absolutely no need to apologise, everyone here will know your pain and we all go through bad and good times, we are here to support each other through this awful journey x
@AlliH oh my goodness you have been together so long . I’m so sorry for you . What a terrible loss for you . I feel embarrassed that I’m feeling like I am when only been together a short while . Please look after yourself too xx Again thanks for being so so kind to me xx
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@Millicent-bystander if you love somebody you love somebody doesn’t matter how long. I was lucky in a way to have so many great years with him, of course I needed more but it wasn’t to be. He was my world and it feels very empty without him but we have 5 amazing children and a lovely little Granddaughter so we will get through it together x
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@Millicent-bystander absolutely no need to be embarrassed, you loved him and are grieving him, just as I am, take care and message if you need a chat x
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@AlliH Thank you so much. I don’t have many memories with him sadly . In the short time we were together he was my best friend and soulmate. Always thinking what could have been and sad we didn’t get the chance at our own happiness and memories together xx
Speak soon x
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Me and my linda the same wasn’t looking but fate brought us together right under our noses for us both my linda passed on 8/10/24 she was 53 and an amazing woman who had been through two bad relationships i had one bad relationship I’m estranged to my side but im now having to look after Linda’s mum as she elderly and poor health also gettin no support from adult soc care as yet linda was my soulmate too and we had been together 14 years we were due to marry this year and now she has been taken I’m so lost too i feel for you its bloody hard losing someone you love the searching and yearning for them is crippling i hope you can find an inner peace with your thoughts and memories it takes a lot out of you i know how you feel and eating is a chore too I’ve lost so much weight in the time linda has gone just pit a shout out if you need to talk were all on this path unfortunately hugs 
Martin x
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@Martin64 i’m sorry for your loss too. I just feel empty and it’s so terrible for us all . I spend most of my d at pare time crying and then painting a smile on for work. No body understands the pain and daily struggle we all go through.
I just wish I could feel him near by or some sign he is with me. The searching is endless.
Here for you too if I can be any comfort to you as well .
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