I have just .got some one to sort all the crap from the garden. Then get a gardener. To sort out tge the garden x
I went out , get some fresh air ,.
I am going out in the morning just for something to do, it’s quite cold here so can’t sit in the garden for long xx
On monday i start doing the garden .get rid of all the winter stuff. Xxx
Im thinking of selling the house and moving somewhere else xx
Okie dokie xxx were will you go xxcc
I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it to be honest. Without Mark its not home anymore.
We haven’t been here long enough to make it a home xx
I know what you are saying xx
I can not move xx
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We have only been here 2 years, I want to move and I don’t want to move, if that makes any sense.
After moving around for all these years I actually thought we would be happy here as long as it was the two of us xx
yes it does. I know what you are saying .this house were I am is rented.we came when it was new.
do you feel unself with no mark ,
I feel, hollow, empty and half of me is missing.
Why did this happen, why did he leave me alone xx
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Hello Poppet
I have been crying a lot today, I keep asking the same questions. I am walking around like a zombie, it is all so unreal, why and how, I just cannot comprehend it all, Mark didn’t have any illnesses as far as we knew. He just died of a heart attack, without any warning, I think I am still in shock.
Sending you hugs xxx
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yes I know I keep on saying that .why did Maria go .she said she was going nowhere . it ia so horrible being alone xx
I am trying to change but it hard xxx I feel so sorry for you .xxx
Sending hugs to you too, these past few days I just seem to be going downhill again.
Im so angry with the hospital and im angry at Mark for leaving me alone.(I know its not his fault but I can’t help it).
Mark was never sick, he rarely caught a cold. He was a big strapping welsh man. I don’t understand why this has happened xx
some days I just do not know how I feel.very sad lots of tears and shouting at myself.
I just I can not handle it some days ,some days I am not bad xx
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Its putting on a face when you go out and letting people think that you are doing ok, and then you go back to an empty, silent house.
Im still hoping its a dream and I will wake up and he’s going to be here with me xx
I have been saying what a bad dream this is .I wanna wake up .xxxx
Its like you’re in limbo, like a zombie
Nothing matters anymore xx
I am trying to come to terms with my loss .but it is bloody hard xxx
Yes, we will do it in time very slowly, stick together in this, help each other xx
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