Yeh true … and thats what makes it hard doesnt it ? That it was out of your hands and you couldnt control it or the outcome … i just wish i dudnt miss him so much … he was my rock, my protector … he was so loved xx
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My Philmore also died of undiagnosed advanced Kidney cancer suddenly without any warning. He felt a bit unwell, thinking he had an upset tummy. How wrong he was. Hugs from Anna
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I know how desperate you feel as I am too we were 43 years together and we all feel that completeness don’t we then suddenly it all ends .Zeki used to come out with one liners like”don’t die with me Ann” I didn’t say much in reply because I was willing him to stay strong and keep going.I was screaming inside but tried to stay normal.On the day he died he had a shower and shave and had been advised to go to A&E to get some different Antibiotics I begged him to let me come and he wouldn’t let me didn’t like me hanging around within the hour they phoned me to say he was dead.All I can remember was screaming down the phone.Actually I am in correspondence with the CEO of the hospital trying to find out what happened .He was on oxygen when his friend taxi driver took him and who helped him into A&E at 1520 but after letters and requesting notes from that day nobody can tell me what happened to him from 1520 till whenhe arrested at 1544
It is continually a question of what was going on we just couldn’t control the situation could we.
I am really trying to do what he would want me to do.We can’t change a thing and can only fight till we win
Sorry I made this post a bit long
Xxhugs Ann
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@Hazel.1966 oh no that’s terrible. I’m so sorry you have been through such a traumatic time . Your husband was so young and you must be missing him so much - I know I’m missing my love so much every single day x
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@Deb5 thats the problem isn’t it that we all seem to be talking about lethal illnesses with no real symptoms until it is too late . I don’t trust the NHS to diagnose anything in time , but I do think in general men are reluctant to go to the doctor in the first place . I’m sorry you are going through this . I’m almost 4 months into this hideous new life and I absolutely hate every minute of it xx💔
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Hi yeh im 5 months down the road and still it is do painful. Do you still xry cos i fo at least once a day ? I lost my husband on 16th december … the saddest day of my life 
he was only 60 which is no age these days x x
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@Ladysuisei6 I am missing him every day and feel so lonely without him. Like you are with your husband. We are meant to be in Cyprus now. Life is so rubbish and unfair. 20 months previously my husband had a fall of 3 meters at work and smashed his elbow to peices which mask his pain and symptoms. He fell 2 days after the COVID vaccine because he became dizzy. If only he didn’t have the jab he might be here now. Big hugs to you xx
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@Annaessex it is terrible isn’t it. I have been told that kidney cancer is a silent killer and symptoms are vague. My husband had lost weight but I didn’t notice until it was too late. I asked myself why didn’t I notice his weight loss but in photos I can see it. Just wish I did and feel guilty that I didn’t notice. Sending lots of love xx
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They thought something was wrong with my husbands kidneys but it was the bladder that was the problem and by the time they found it was aggressive … and in end couldnt do amything. I suppose i had a bit longer with him but it was still awful … its ripped my family apart really … but at least me and my second daughter talking xx
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@Deb5 just so unfair and so sad that we loss our lovely men. I do wonder why we got picked out to now lead this horrendous life. I’m glad that you and your daughter have reconnected. Hopefully she will be your rock. Big hugs xx
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Thanks hazel … bless you ! I dunno why it was us either ! When they were good men … xx
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Dear Hazel.1966, he saw a doctor and he said to my husband that he looks sickly. His weight loss - so the doctor said - has something to do with his diabetes and he wanted to send him to a diabetes clinic although my husband’s diabetes was under control. The doctor was not really interested. I wanted that my husband goes to A&E because I was really concerned but he said that he does not want to go there, wait for hours, and send home with a handful of tablets. But I think it was too late anyway. At least I had him home and he died (although the situation was terrifying for me) with me by his side. I stayed with him the whole time until the funeral director picked him up. All people I loved died in my arms, my father, my mother, and now my beloved husband. And although it was hard and heartbreaking I am thankful that I was there. Hugs to all from Anna
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@Annaessex I sadly missed my husband by a few minutes. I went to work on the Saturday and Sunday I got a call from my son who is only 22 to say that dad had collapsed and time I got home he was gone. I did CPR as ambulance was not there. They came after me and work on my husband for 45 minutes. Like you he died at home and I laid with him till the funeral directors came. The worst day of my life. So damn sad that we lost our men. Sending lots of love xx
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@Deb5 yes I still cry an awful lot although not as much as in the beginning. I’m going through a stage of numbness and depression which I think is affecting my emotions. I’m also highly anxious all the time - the realisation that he won’t be coming back to me literally takes my breath away in panic . I’m also panicking about practical things too associated with living on my own xxx
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Yep i agree - not as bad as at beginning but still my tears flow often in the day when i miss him being here i sometimes think i dunno if i will ever stop feeling sad ? And yeh the practical things of living alone - nobody to help with chores or fixing stuff i saw his tools the other day … just little reminders they were here … breaks your heart doesnt it ? Xxx
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@Deb5 yes it catches me unawares too. I’m struggling immensely with just getting the basic chores etc done which I think is down to my depressed feelings at the moment. Before this happened I’d never had an issue doing my share but now I’ve lost all motivation and I don’t really care anymore.
Like you I’m knocked sideways by the loss of my beloved- they were just too young to die which makes me think there must be some sort of link between the losses and the Covid jab . Not that this will ever be made public of course. Sending hugs x
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Do you ? Do you think there’s a link … ? Mmm interesting … who knows i must admit he started getting poorly after his jab ! Cos consultant told me last year that it had been there at least a year … just about time of when the jabs started !! I must admit i do blame covid as well - the knock on effects of it because people not been closely monitored. My husband always used to have yearly check ups but cos of covid he didnt have them and maybe if he had had them they probably wouldve picked up something was wrong !!! As when i took him into hospital in july his potassium levels were through the roof indicating kidney problems ! Grrrh so annoying ! But thing is we are the fallout to all this ! Us and our families ;( so sad 
we’re left with all this heartache he !!! Xx
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@Deb5 well I’ve been commenting on the thread re sudden cardiac death in younger men and Covid and there are so many sad stories. I’m not giving a scientific opinion here , but all I can say is that my love often complained of just not feeling “ quite right” following these jabs . Mind you he was still extremely fit and healthy as far as I could tell . He could out walk me uphills for example but after a few of the jabs he wanted to walk on the flat instead . Mind you this was still no indication of what was to come because his death certificate recorded congestive cardiac failure which may well have been there in the background without symptoms for a long time. I’m shattered by his loss because I keep going over things like this in my head all the what ifs you know ? I did suggest going to the doctors but appointments are rarely offered these days since the pandemic. Honestly we really have become a 3rd world country here where medical help is so sparse .
The way I try to think about this is that as heartbreaking as it is , my darling is never coming back to me and my life has been shattered into a million pieces for whatever reason this tragedy happened. I hope you can find some peace and I am sending you hugs xx
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Ladysusie, I can’t comment on Covid jabs. It does sound as though congestive cardiac failure was what he died of though, whether or not exacerbated by the jabs. My husband died from Covid but he caught it on top of pneumonia. It’s a horrible end, not able to breathe, on a ventilator, frightened. I have had all my jabs and will continue. I wouldn’t wish that death for anyone.
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@AngelinaH im so sorry that you are experiencing this trauma . I did comment on another thread specifically about Covid jabs plus the virus itself . I didn’t mean to offer an opinion as such , but the type of cardiac failure which my partner had was an acute and unexpected event. Never diagnosed until after the event if his death . He was only 59 and previously healthy.
I can only imagine just how distressing it is to lose a loved one to Covid in the way you lost your dear husband. No - I wouldn’t wish this on anyone either because it sounds frightening.
Nevertheless we are all very sadly in a predicament that we’d give anything not to be in. I’m sorry if I upset you in any way because that was really not my intention when talking about this x
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