Oh, don’t!!! 
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I like it, V. 
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This is so true of my Mum. There isn’t one thing on there that she didn’t say!
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mine neither, quite a few I’ve said myself too
hope today is an improvement on yesterday and tomorrow is an improvement on today
blessings
Jen🦋
The only way for Christmas this year is kill the turkey and invite thirty round for the funeral.Xx
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I don’t know where you find them, but I love them. It’s good to laugh when you never thought it could happen again. Thankyou. 
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I liked them
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All of the statements below were taken from actual insurance accident claims
“I was driving along the motorway when the police pulled me over onto the hard shoulder. Unfortunately I was in the middle lane and there was another car in the way…”
Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early…
The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.
I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.
Question; “Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?”
Answer: “Traveled by bus?”
The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were
Question: What warning was given by you?
Answer: Horn.
Question: What warning was given by the other party?
Answer: Moo.
I didn’t think the speed limit applied after midnight
I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.
The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.
I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.
I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
I bumped into a lamp-post which was obscured by human beings.
The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.
When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.
The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.”
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