Rock on tommy. Amazon have a good deal on earplugs. Dish them out to neeboors.
Just joking
George
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Alternatively, invite them.
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Way forward. Always keep the enemy on side!!
You are right. Ma mate, fae Watford, Tusker we used to call him.
His name Mike Ivory. Always keep wan eye open at a party. Especially in your mates house, cause he’s the wan who will steal your wife.
Then he get in tow we Thai lassie many years later, they have bairn, but , bairn a wee bit funny in the heid.
The Thai lassie bail out, and go an live we her sister, in the bog city.
But one day appear back, see the the daftie bairn, etc.
Then time for her to leave, so tusker, being a gentleman escort her to the bus. She say “Mike, I have left something in the house and need to go back and get get it.”
“Ok”
She disappear on bus, tusker go home and she’d put his VHS tape recorder in her case and disappeared.
Not sure if it is funny or sad.
Tragi comedy
As the posh people say.
Life is life
George
That picture really made me chuckle
Yes, you have a way with words!!
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The Christmas jumper one? 
Vanda reminded me of this one.
Have a Nice Day
‘Help, help,’ said a man. ‘I’m drowning.’
‘Hang on,’ said a man from the shore.
‘Help, help,’ said the man. ‘I’m not clowning.’
‘Yes, I know, I heard you before.
Be patient dear man who is drowning,
You see, I’ve got a disease.
I’m waiting for a Doctor J. Browning.
So do be patient please.’
‘How long,’ said the man who was drowning. ‘Will it take for the Doc to arrive?’
‘Not very long,’ said the man with the disease. ‘Till then try staying alive.’
‘Very well,’ said the man who was drowning. ‘I’ll try and stay afloat.
By reciting the poems of Browning
And other things he wrote.’
‘Help, help,’ said the man with the disease, ‘I suddenly feel quite ill.’
‘Keep calm,’ said the man who was drowning, ‘Breathe deeply and lie quite still.’
‘Oh dear,’ said the man with the awful disease. ‘I think I’m going to die.’
‘Farewell,’ said the man who was drowning
Said the man with the disease, ‘goodbye.’
So the man who was drowning, drownded
And the man with the disease passed away.
But apart from that,
And a fire in my flat,
It’s been a very nice day.
Spike Milligan
I’ve spent most of today watching him on YouTube.
Guaranteed to lift your spirit.
Never see his like again! Genius!
As bjane says a genius. He lifts out of our despair, with the humour that lives inside us. I cannae mind what his epitaph is?
Was it I told you I was Ill!
Laughing
George
Yes I think it was, will check, have his books. Glad you’re laughing!
We have to laugh.
But I gonna send this wan.
It was the primer in the charge.
As spike knew well being an artilllery man.
Q anon has nae got a hope.
Sorry I rude
But I not.
Sorry
Seoaris
Typical, Spike, I loved to see and listen to him on chat shows.
I remember watching a documentary about him many years ago.
My abiding memory was the beautiful relationship he had with his children. He would enter into their world telling them fantastic funny stories. They loved it. He was one of a kind. He fought mental illness for a huge part of his life. I tend to think a lot of his humour came from that.
George
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Well said Kate😀
A married couple in their early 60s was
celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary
in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy
appeared on their table. She said, ‘For
being such an exemplary married couple and
for being loving to each other for all
this time, I will grant you each a wish.’
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel
around the world with my darling husband
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof!
-
two tickets for the Queen Mary II
appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well,
this is all very romantic, but an
opportunity like this will never come
again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is
to have a wife 30 years younger than me.
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply
disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and
poof!..the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: Men who are
ungrateful bastards should remember
fairies are female…SEND THIS TO A WOMAN WHO NEEDS A GOOD
LAUGH . AND TO ANY MAN WHO CAN
HANDLE IT!
Georgette
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Brilliant !
made me think of this forum lol so had to share
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That’s hilarious! Thank you for that!! xx
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