Keep strong we will all survive this war .I have had immense help from the others on this site.
Sometimes the desperation is terrible but everybody truly understands
Hugs x
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@Carrotsgirl I am so sorry you lost your fiancé under such tragic circumstances, I cant imagine how it must feel to have lost him so young and a day before your wedding. It sounds as if you found what helps you grieve by having space alone to grieve and it is true that not everyone has a someone, all of us on here are testament to that. But we have each other, joined together in our love and grief for our special someone. So sending you love, patience, strength and courage in abundance. Love and hugs xxx
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I lost my husband 25th April. Married for 22 but together 25. I have taken to walking every day. To get me out of the house mainly. I see all these celebrations going on. And all I can think is another moment that he won’t see. Our neighbours have put up a new fence at the bottom of our garden. Perfectly legal it’s their garden. But I feel angry that they have changed what was the view we used to sit and look out at every evening. I go out and when I am on my way back I think he will be sat on the sofa waiting for me. But as always since he died. Everything is the same as when I left. I honestly cannot describe the pain I feel. It actually feels physical.
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Dear Sandi, I am in the same boat. Lots of questions and forms. Still waiting for my husband’s health file to be released so I can forward my claim to the travel insurance. The surgery is just a nightmare to deal with. I had not even the time to contact all company pension people and I am not sure about the government widow pension. There is no break. I am just glad that my computer and printer are still working because my husband was always dealing with computer trouble. Hugs from Anna
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Thanks @sandi
It was a second marriage for us both - he was a widower and 63 but it is still a life, dreams and plans stolen away. I sold my house the week before it all happened but I’ve only just now felt up to starting to look for a new home on my own.
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@Carrotsgirl Its still too young at 63 and of course all your dreams and plans snatched away so suddenly. That must have been so overwhelming selling your home and not having any firm roots at a time when you needed them, I hope you soon find somewhere to live where you can find peace and take the happier memories of your time together with you xxxx
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@Carrotsgirl I’m so sorry to hear that you lost the love of your life just before your wedding. Life indeed is unfair and cruel. I went to work on the Saturday and Sunday my son rang me to say that dad had collapsed. Time I got home he was gone. He was 53 years old. No closure and no answers. Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. All our future plans and dreams have gone. It was a week before Christmas. I still can’t believe that he has gone and feel guilty that I wasn’t with him that morning and didn’t notice that he was so ill. Miss my husband so much and feel lonely without him. I have been going to councelling and going to join a support group next week. I do hope that you are having lots of support from family and friends. Big hugs xx
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@Annaessex I applied for bereavement support payment which I got as my husband paid national insurance and died at 53 before retirement age. I got a lump sum and will receive payments monthly for 18 months.
I definitely would rather have my husband back and live in a bin bag then receiving this payment. 
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Dear Hazel.1966, thank you very much for the advice about the bereavement support payment. I filled in the form online today and maybe I am lucky to get financial support. My husband was 65 and would be 66 in March. I did not know about the support and that there is a deadline to apply for it (3 months after he died). I should be still in time because my beloved husband died on Valentine’s Day 14. February 2023. It looks like that payment replaced a widow’s pension but I am not quite sure because my brain is not working properly at the moment. I have sometimes read a sentence three times or more and it still does not make any sense to me. Thank you again. I also would give everything to have my big baby back. I am missing him so much. Sending you lots of love. Hugs from Anna
Yes I believe it does replace the widow pension. I found out about it on the government one tell everyone from. Or something like that. I hated doing the paperwork as makes it feel so real. Like you hate this bloody life. Take care of yourself xx
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I was told by my sister in law who’s friend had been through this awful time. I rung the number and they rang me back. I was told to take the death certificate my husband NI number and my NI number to my local job centre and they would do the rest.
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@Hazel.1966
I just applied for bereavement support. My partner paid national insurance and died in service at 49. I was declined as no children.
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I may be declined then as I have no children. What an awful thing. So sorry.
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Hi this is the link to the eligibility criteria Bereavement Support Payment: How it works - GOV.UK
You don’t need to have children BUT it depends on age and your martital status. As far as I can see if you’re married or civil partnership then you don’t need to have children. If you’re living as a couple but not married or civil partnership then I you do need to have children or be pregnant. Cold isn’t it?
You must claim within 3 months to get the full amount and the amount is less if you do qualify but don’t have children I think but you may qualify if you’re married.
I know all of this stuff is really hard to do. Having to ‘claim’ these things doesn’t exactly help with the guilt part of grief.
One wee tip for the ‘Sadmin’ in case you don’t already know. Most companies (phone, bank, utilities etc) have dedicated bereavement lines, just google for each. If you phone these numbers you get someone who can handle you crying with each question rather some poor kid in a call centre. It makes it a bit more bearable.
X
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It’s cruel that your considered differently, just because you didn’t get a signed piece of paper. We were married in all the sense of the word and often referred to each other as husband and wife and our commitment was the same or even stronger than some couples but reality is, unless your married, you get a different response from every organisation. It’s a lot harder! It’s also shameful in these modern times with archaic rules.
Mmmm, who’s got the number to apply to be an MP… 
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I had to go to the job centre to show them paper work and they did the rest. My son is 22 so not a child. I knew within 24 hours.
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I am going Tuesday. Didn’t want to do everything in one go. So had something to fill a day. Today is a bad day.
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@Rammie bless you…I’m having a bad today and feeling really down. Yesterday I felt ok. It’s just horrible having to go through this daily. When I went to the job centre I was in tears. They were very kind to me. Just made it so real. I went on my own. Make sure you go with someone. Big hugs xx
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@Annaessex
I started out this morning feeling ok, took the dog out just before 10 and thought its so quiet, hardly anyone around and even the birds were quiet, like some sort of impending doom was on its way, so that started my anxiety off and now i can feel im going slowly down hill again. Struggled to put some washing on and i know i need to do some tidying up but im glued to my bed and dont want to move unless absolute have too 
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I don’t have much motivation today either. Just sitting on the sofa thinking how has it come to this. Maybe going to have another 25/30 years of this to come. My husband suddenly collapsed on a Sunday morning so find Sunday’s hard. Nearly 12 noon and have done nothing.
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