Ive found ive got no interest in hobbies i used to enjoy like reading and gardening ive changed what i watch on tv haven’t watched the news or any normal tv since danny died 3 months ago i am happy if you can call it that if i find something to watch especially if its over a few series that i can binge watch on netflix then I’ll sit and watch at least 4 episodes its like the highlight of my nights does anyone else feel the same ive just finished watching brothers and sisters that took me ages but was a distraction now I’m on dead to me how crazy this is my life now

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I have started doing jigsaws, you can waste lots of time on them

Just had a complete break down re gardening, people in work asking me did I enjoy Hampton Court Garden festival , I went with my son! but he doesn’t share the interest I haven’t got anyone to share plant interest with, and I have just realised that and can’t stop sobbing. I have just watched Corrie, bless Nick thought it was crap but would watch it with me! and we thought Lauren had been murdered , but she has turned up alive, and all I could think was " but Nick never got to know that "! and now I feel daft for thinking that !!

Hiya jane your not daft. Its so hard i want so mich to tell Gra pointless stuff as we did before. Today is day 23 and i have done nothing but cry. Xxc

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I think we all get day were we think can i feel any worse and then it passes for a bit i felt bad yday was ok in the morning went to work and had a swim but then came home late afternoon and then it hit me what a long afternoon and evening by myself went to bed 8 30 seems to be getting earlier and earlier made the house as darl as i could its like im waiting for the dark nights to shut myself away but then I’ll have a better day people say its a roller coaster and it really is

Yes it certainly is up and down , I am actually going for a swim this morning I love the outdoor pool can’t haven’t even used the dry robe yet that Nick bought me ! It still has the label on it , I returned from the hossy the night nick died to a parcel he had ordered me one! And I didn’t know ! And now I just can’t even bring myself to use it yet! But I know he bought it me with the outdoor swimming intention !

The first 3 weeks I was just a zombie on sleeping tablets and dizapan! I try and just use the sleeping tablets now and again now ! Although I still can’t sleep the whole night x

Morning Jane how long is it for you since you lost Nick. If you dont mind me asking where do you live i am in Hull xxxx

12 weeks ago 15/4/24 I live in Devon but I am from Liverpool I have one son in Devon with me but all my family are in Liverpool x

12 weeks so still early for you , how old is you son. I wish i had someone living here. The nights are a killer. Xxx


I’m glad you’ve shared your TV habits. My husband was a huge football fan and was very excited for the start of the Euros. Unlike him I detested football! However he’s not here to enjoy the Euro’s and somehow I have been following and watching every match with interest! It’s absolutely weird, because genuinely hated football.

That said, he loved all the old comedies, Only Fools and Horses, Dad’s Army etc. I can’t even flick by channels that stream those programmes without feeling blooming pain in the very pit of my stomach and then tears start.

I miss him sooooo much

Gra would have watched the England matches but he wasnt a big fan . Like you i miss him so much, i cant get it right i. My own head that i will never see him or feel his warm embrace anymore. Xxxx

My tv habits have changed. I still watch the soaps and like @Jane15 my husband would tolerate them, but if he missed and episode he’d be asking about it. And I love the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. He didn’t mind that I watched them everytime they came on.
He was more into action films and westerns. He wasn’t really into football although he did start to follow England ladies.
I’m not into football but I have been following the Euros and I shall have it on tonight.

How long is it for you Liro does it get any easier i am so lonely. I just need to talk to ppl hear a voice. Xxxx

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Hi @jevncute
Its 19 weeks for me
I won’t say it gets easier but gradually you realise you are coping.
I don’t think the pain ever goes away but you learn to live with it.
I still cry every day, sometimes more than others. But now I do have days where I feel ok. But because of this rollercoaster we’re on I also have dips.

I talk to Roger all the time and even tell him off sometimes. How dare you leave me!
I also write to him every night. I tell him about my day, and tell him how much I miss him. I just feel it keeps a connection.

Sending you a big :people_hugging: :hugs:

My son is 28 his father my ex husband was found dead in his flat in January ! (But sounds bad but it was a relief he was abusive ) then 3 months later he loses his step Dad my nick who brought my son up since he was 5 x

I tell Nick off ! I say why did you make me a “widow twanky “ at age 56!!

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Lol Jane i do Gra i am 59. Gra was 75 bless him xxx

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The loneliness, that hideous silence… could be in a room full of people but still feel that loneliness!

I’ve reached out to The Jolly Dollies in my area. Maybe try them @jevncute if in your area? Set up by widows by widows. They go on outings and do stuff. Could be beneficial for you?

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I would darling but i suffer from agrophobia and only go out in my own little area.xxx

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