I have recently lost the most amazing wife to breast cancer. I feel so numb at the loss of her. The thing is, I thought I had mastered this art of acceptance at knowing I was going to lose her, i was so wrong!! Now that I am alone in our house, it’s hit me like a train. There are little reminders everywhere. I know also, that this grief that i feel is raw at the moment and with talking and support will pass. I will treasure every memory we made, every kiss we had. I will not let grief beat me. I will rise from this and be the man that my wife loved and continue to hold her hand every single day.
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I’m so sorry for your loss!! I lost my husband 9 weeks ago and just so lost and broken…
I promised him I would be strong but I just don’t know how I will do life without him
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Hi Scar,
Thank you for your very kind words, they are much appreciated. At the moment, the house is so strange without her. Sometimes i feel that i am collapsing from within and like you do not know what my life will be like without her as we had 26 fabulous years together.
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@David67 So sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of 40 years 7 weeks ago and my whole world collapsed. i can understand how you feel about all the little reminders. I don;t think any of us are really prepared with losing our solmate, the love of our lives and the better half of you. I am still very heartbroken for my lovely husband. I also know that my husband would want me to go on but at the moment I don’t know how.
I miss him so much. This is not the life I have chosen. I can only take one day at a time. I still cry every day and have since I lost him.
Everyone in this forum know and understand what you are going through because we are all on the same awful journey. Keep posting in this forum as much as you need to and everyone will support you. I have found this to be so. Look after yourself, take it one day at a time. Sending you love and hugs xx
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I lost my husband 2 weeks ago…it’s been so hard. I’m struggling even to express myself. I miss him so much…
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Hi Rute,
I am so dreadfully sorry to hear of your loss. I think everyone struggles to express themselves as grief can be so overwhelming. I miss my wife too. I am sure it will get easier for all of us here. We just need time and to talk feelings through.
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It’s impossible!? I had 20 years with Shaun, he was my forever, I hate my home now it’s so cold and lonely… I will face losing the home in time then I have no idea what I will do or where I will end up? I just keep thinking let the kids get their lives together and have families of their own, then il just give up 
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@Rute so so sorry for your loss! 
It’s been 9 weeks since I lost my husband, I don’t think it will ever get ‘better’ ‘easier’
I have found so much comfort in this community though and know we’re all genuinely here for one another through this absolute nightmare xx
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I hope so…i never felt a pain like this before…
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Hi Rute, oh my goodness you I couldn’t have described it better. I can’t even get the feelings into words and the energy and cognition to communicate it or even understand what is going on in my head and heart. I feel chaotic. I do know that it is in waves. And it will pass. And then - probably come back. But I’m looking forward even to the next tiny bit of sanity break. Even if it’s just sleep! But I’ll probably settle on watching something funny on TV and sit with my cat. Big hugs to you.
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Hi Scar,
I hate walking in yo my home too. It feels nothing without her there. What’s hard also, is my 21 year old daughter has been robbed of her mother at such a young age. She sobs that her mother will never see her get married and have children. My heart breaks for her and my feelings then pale into insignificance as i realise that she comes first in all of this.
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Hi Suki2
Me to, sometimes i just sit with my cat and watch tv…or pretend that I’m watching TV…30 years of partnership, love, children, grandchildren…i can’t believe that he his gone forever…
Hope you are well
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@David67 my eldest is 19 and in the same place… her dad was her hero, they had the most unbreakable bond… now he’ll never see her marry, walk her down the aisle, see her have her own family… then we have our sim 16 and our littlest Faith 9
It’s just so cruel I don’t see a way of getting through this
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My wife and Erin were so close. She said that she wanted to make it to Erin’s 21st back in January and had a ball. She set herself goals and she achieved them. It is cruel, but you will get through this because you will find resilience as i, and everyone else will.
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@David67
Hi mate, your situation sounds so similar to mine. I also lost my wife to breast cancer in July after 30 years of marriage. My “kids” are also in their 20s and, as you would expect, have taken it hard. We had 18 months or so to come to terms with the inevitable outcome - it made it easier, I think, but definitely not easy. The last few weeks were utterly harrowing and in all honesty I felt relief and peacefulness immediately after she slipped away - I couldn’t bear to watch her in so much pain and discomfort, not to mention the loss of her personality as her brain was affected by the toxins and drugs floating round her body. Getting to the funeral was only achieved by adrenaline and having two wonderful children beside me the whole time. Since the funeral, though, I have to agree with you, it is so difficult to see all the little triggers around the house that just immediately remind me of her - some make me laugh, others make me cry. The smell of her perfume in particular catches me every time. I completely get where you are coming from about staying strong and carrying on, because that is also what my wife would expect me to do, not just for myself, but for the kids too.
All the best. DWJ
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I’m so sorry for your loss. I am on week 17 and find I write a list of things to do and each day tick one of the list. Baby steps each day. I’ve learnt new things like how to use a drill and today put a curtain pole up that was on my husbands to-do list. Take your time to grieve. X
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Oh @Rute it’s the most difficult time for you . I am so sorry for you . The shock is so immense at this point . I hope you have some support from family and friends . I remember the first weeks I was constantly doing anything to stop the terrible pain . My heart goes out to you
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Hi Jol
It’s so hard, i wake up crying, go to bed crying…during the day it’s the same…
No, all my family and real friends are in Portugal. I’ve got my children and grandchildren here, but can’t talk to them…they’re grieving too, and they need me to be strong…but sometimes like today, I can’t… i talk to my family and friends online, but it’s not the same…
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Hi everyone,
Hope that your day has gone well. Good energy and thoughts to you all.
David.
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Hi @David67 the day started horrendous! I woke early hours and just led there upset, panicking and couldn’t control it… having my little girl led next to me cuddling me helps but then my heart breaks for her seeing her with her dads tshirt, jumper wrapped around her (we have a nightly ritual of having his things placed in the bed)
I really struggled to get up but forced myself, then walked downstairs and broke down, it just feels so cold and lonely and dark…
The day went pretty much that ‘cold and dark’ I finally shifted myself and wrote a food shop list so me and my 2 girls went and done the food shop, came home and I done a roast dinner…
I’m now counting down to shut my eyes for a few hours before it all starts again tomorrow. I’m back in work on a phased return so will be distracted for a few hours I guess, then my youngest has her 2nd bereavement session with the hospice in the afternoon, so will be a tough one as it’s where shaun spent his final days
How has your day been?
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