Thank you for your lovely message and the kind understanding things you said.Yesterday was a very hard day.These “anniversary “ type days are so hard.I had my wifes first birthday, our wedding anniversary, my birthday and christmas last year and they were awful.We can prepare ourselves for these approaching “trigger “ days but as i found out yesterday and last year nothing can really prepare ourselves when they actually arrive.As you say its like a monster following you.we could try and approach these days like they are just ordinary days but sadly they are far from ordinary.yesterday was a year since my dear wife left me and mt life and myself were changed for ever never again being as i used to be.The waves of grief can hit us in so many different ways, sometimes the waves can be gentle at other times like a tsunami.Waves you cant prepare for.I found yesterday i was reliving that awful day my wife passed with the paramedics doing CPR in our living room sadly all to no avail.they tried so hard but it wasnt to be.As you say , as i found out yesterday the day comes and the day goes just like every day after.It really is like groundhog day.I am trying by best but it really is a hard road we find ourselves on.Looking for the light at the end of the tunnel but it seems like a never ending tunnel.Please dont apologise for your message yesterday.Its always good to hear from you.We have to “talk” tell how it is, how we feel, good or bad,really down or a bit better.Its always good to talk especially with people who know how we are feeling because they have been there or are going through similar things to us..
My wife was a beautiful soul, she was so loving, kind, caring and gentle, she was my world, my everything.Always putting others before herself.I miss her so much, its broken my heart, tore me apart, part of me was taken with her i feel.My dear wife was so like her mum and thought the world of her, they were very close, she thought a lot of my mum too.She had such a kind, gentle nature as one of her friends said in a letter she wrote to me she was a true lady.It really does break my heart and as you say all the good die young.Its always the nicest, kindest most loving people that are taken from us.i still ask WHY?i suppose i will never get that answer.It really has been an awful few years,it seems to have been one thing after another.
Unfortunatly my work colleagues dont really understand but saying that one of my bosses asked me today if i coped with yesterday ok?i was honest with him and said not really.As we often say if none has ever experienced what we have they dont really understand.My bosses were really good when my dear wife passed and the boss came with me to the undertakers to sort things out.They never really rushed me back.They were very good to be fair.Your dear husband and yourself sound so much like my dear wife and i.You sounded a lovely couple.
Thank you for your kindness and understanding, it means a lot to me.Never be afraid to tell me anything i will always be a listening ear for you.As you say we are all here to help each other.
You’ve got through all the firsts as people like to say. As if that means the rest will be easier. Sadly no that is not the case. The first year and a half go by in shock and disbelief. The one’s after are when you have woken from a dream and realise it is really happening. Im not saying this to upset you or anybody else reading this. Xx Far from it, You face it sober as in its real, if that makes sense. But you will get days when you can cope better and for a little longer. So please do not be afraid.
I pressed the wrong button as I wasnt finished.duhhhh..
Your wife will always be with you and sounds like an angel. As you speak of her so beautifully.
I’m glad that at least your boss is asking how you are and making sure your ok. Men are so bad at talking about health, mental health etc. So I’m glad you can open up on here. X
I had a boiler service today and the chap was really good and explained a few things to me that I didnt know. It might have been because I offered him a drink and biscuits. Haha. Take care my friend x
I have problems coping w/ my property, too, sometimes. In the fall, the trees are dropping leaves like crazy. I have a yard guy, but still end up doing some each day, cleaning the mulch or driveway. It stesses me out.
Yes leaves from next door not my trees is so stressful.
My late husband used to clean them up. I do not have a yard man as you call it. My son is supposed to do it as he lost his benefits so he is meant to work for me. But difficult to motivate.
I end up doing bits and bobs but it never looks as good as when my husband did it.
I have just had two days with the central heating service toilet cistern repair and the hot water wasn’t working. So had to stay at hand to make lots tea. Had to clear decks and clear up afterwards. My son came to see if he could fix things today. Constant battle not to block sink up. I am gradually learning tricks to stop it. Takes me forever. He has been deaf. Three years three months. I learnt to unblock toilet myself. Bodge up things somehow.
It sounds like a lot. I have 28 trees in front yard and no woods to rake them or blow them. So, lawn guy will mulch in the fall and put that around the trees. I bag some of that to decrease it. In the back, he mulches them. I bag some of the sides to decrease volume. We have pine cones in the front and little thorny things called gumballs, too. I bagged a whole bag yesterday, dragging up the incline to the garbage. Grrr.
The grass is the next thing needing to be done. I came back from a week in Weymouth anf I tiought it had grown. The water butt had blown about in high wind. There seens to be a never ending list of things needing to be fixed. I had to charge up the car battery again.
I hate having to deal with it all since my partner passed suddenly almost six months ago. Everything seemed to require attention. Plumber, joiner to fix the gate. had to get a gardener. I couldn’t get any of the power tools to work and I ve only just worked out which batteries to put in the garage remote. That’s just a fraction of what needs done. My partner would have dealt with it all. It just adds to the stress and grief of losing him.
I know how you feel Norma. Ive just taken in the agreement to sell the house and made an offer on a small house round the corner, I’m a wreck.
The badgers have attacked the front lawns and the conservatory has leaked. So now I’ll paint the wall, fill the holes and plod on with the other jobs before photos tomorrow.
I’m exhausted and thoroughly fed up with crying. If Stephen can see me now he’d say pull yourself together and get in with it.
My husband used to say to me, “Get a grip” when I was having a melt down. I have them regularly now and can hear him say it. So, I try to not think of the issue, if I’m going over it in my head, too much. I have one issue now, in the house, unresolved since January and still trying to get it fixed. Frustrating!
I am finding it tough at the moment more than usual when don’t feel well. I seemed to avoid catching anything anything as had the flu and COVID jab but now got a nasty cough and cold so feel exhausted so it is a job just to get meals ready and wash up. I had been trying to do ten minutes then rest but feel that hardly works now. Luckily got stuff in the freezer. My husband wouldn’t be too hard on me as he struggled himself before he died. It is over three years now. My two sons help a bit. So am lucky for that but I end up having to help them. When my husband was in hospital he said leave it until I come back and I will see to it but he never did just died. But at least he had hoped. The times I had said to the
I had the cold then the cough, which then became tonsillitis. Please rest when you need to. It’s not like me but I had to sleep in the afternoon, couldn’t keep my eyes open. If you get a sore throat don’t leave it like I did. I didn’t realise the local chemist can give antibiotics until I asked. Chemist was lovely, checked my throat and blood pressure, then gave nasty antibiotics but they worked.
I hope you feel better soon but if your throat doesn’t improve ask the chemist to check it. It’s easier than getting an appointment with a GP. Take care x
Well it wasbt so bad today. But still tired. Struggling to keep on top of things in tge house. My other son cleaned up high for me. Then his brother ckeaned the worst of it up. I managed to do the sinks.