I am so sorry Rosa, but 10 weeks is such a short time to be even thinking of moving your husband’s belongings. What you need to do is grieve and don’t put pressure on yourself to sort things out. I know there is paperwork to be sorted but the unimportant things can wait. Take time to mourn the man you spent many happy years with, cry and scream until your throat hurts. I did.
I honestly sometimes think I am not the right person to be giving advice on grieving because my husband died nearly 3.1/2 years ago and I still cry for him. I went to bed tonight, tossed and turned and burst into tears so I got up. It is the pain of knowing I will never see him again, there are so many things I want to talk to him about, so many things he has missed and I want to tell him all about them.
Nearly 2.1/2 years after my husband died I decided to sort his clothes out and give them to a charity, but that is all I have done, I still have all his belongings, records from the 1960’s, 45, EP, LP, cassettes etc. I have kept every single one of his books, everything is where he left them in the bookcase and record cabinet. I have his watches, bracelet, I had his wedding ring adjusted and engraved and I now wear it all the time. I still have his ashes in the cabinet in our front lounge where he used to love to sit. They give me peace, knowing he is still here with me, but I just wish I could talk to him. I have our wedding photos on the wall, we were married in 1967 and it sometimes feels as if it all happened yesterday as my memories are so clear, but other days it seems as if he is going further into the past and I am leaving him behind.
Our grandchildren were only very young when he died and he has missed so much.
I don’t have a future to look forward to anymore, my future was with my husband.
I wish I could tell you that you will go to bed tonight and it will all have been a nightmare, but I can’t, because I have wished and wished night after night for my husband to come back to me. I kept all his clothes for 2.1/2 years because I thought it was all a mistake and when he did come home he would find everything waiting for him. Everything else is still waiting for him.
I am 75 years old and I honestly don’t know if I am crying for myself or because my husband is not here because my life means nothing without him. I have a family, but they have moved on, just like I did when my dad died when I was 25. But I had Peter with me to get me through it, now I have only myself and I just can’t get over the fact he is not coming back.
I am so terribly sorry, my heart aches for you because what you are going through brings it all back to me. There are so many people on this site grieving for a lost loved one and we are all here for each other.
Please take care.