Just trying to work out how to control this. I can never bring her back but the loss is so painful. Also reliving when she stopped breathing. I thought I was ready as I didn’t want her to suffer. But I was never ready. I try so hard to be positive but that pain gets me every time. Being lonely don’t help but don’t want to burden anyone.
Being there when she stopped breathing must have been so terribly painful for you, I can’t begin to imagine that.Malcolm went to sleep, had a stroke and never regained consciousness , which was terrible but in a different way . My heart aches for all of us going through this.We can’t bring them back, like you said, and some days you feel like you can’t go on as it’s all so pointless without them. This has to be the very worst it can get, the very worst that could ever have happened to us , and as Elton said”I’m still standing””, we all are and we’ll struggle like hell but we’ll manage to remain that way.Don’t try to fight it, go with the flow, cry and weep for however long you need, harder for you as a man I expect, but just let yourself go with it all.x
Hi Jay, hope you are feeling oK today, I nearly managed a day without crying yesterday so it looks like it could happen one day… Take care
That feels a long way off. I want to Alway feel the loss just with out the intense pain
Jay, I understand that you want to ‘always feel the loss’. I remember thinking the same in the early days of my grief and 3 years later, I still feel the loss. But I can also know a certain happiness and contentment with my grief as my companion. Never fear Jay, you will always feel your loss. One day though, as you are climbing into bed, like bjane, you will realise that you hadn’t cried that day. I’m not saying that I never shed tears these days because I do occasionally and I think always will. I will forever grieve and yearn for my amazing man. xx
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Thank you. What gives me the most intense pain in my heart is the moment she stopped breathing. I had my hand on hers. She said something to me which I understood as ’ I love you, goodbye’ then she never took another breath. Which I find hard typing as battling through tears to see what I’m typing. I promised her the 2 days previously that I would be with her at that moment but the emense loss is do hard
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Lovely words Crazy Kate. We will never ever really get over losing them, we just loved them so much. But I’m starting to feel acceptance that, much as I’d do anything to have him back, it’s never going to happen
and I am a bit further along than you Jay. The pain will never leave us, I don’t think, but it will eventually be less acute. Take care x
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Hiya,
I know how you feel., I lost my Husband in February after 54 years of marriage.The emptiness is horridus and lock down could not come at a worse time.I have one Son who is brilliant and his family but cannot be here all the time.how do we pass every day it is endless.I do my pots and flowers but still all alone.
Sorry this message has probably not cheered you up, but hopefully you know I am here if ever I ou want to message.
Take Care,xxx
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Use it to share about your lovedone. I do. I want to tell everyone that I miss my georgous wife and everyone has missed out on something special. It’s how I try to cope.
Do the same. Life is do horrible and unwanted. So share whatever you want
Thankyou for replying I have not been on here for a couple of weeks, ! At first with everything to do I think I was in remote control it really did not hit me he had been so ill for 4 years could not wish him back like that but selfish as I am I do but the well man not suffering, he never complained and now I feel so stupid feeling sorry for myself.
Think what can I do housework and gardening then that is it,still we are all in the same boat here and none of us deserve o be but unfortunately that is life.
I stopped driving a couple of years ago so really are stuck where I live no busses or transport trying to sell his car which is not a year old, my Son has taken it to his house I could not look at it, now the drive is empty don’t know what is worse.
Anyway enough of me ,hope to hear from you soon,
Take Care.
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Too many reminders. Our garden was the best it looked for the 17 years we had been at this house. She was so looking forward to seeing her flowers she planted coming out. They now have started flowering. So hard to go in garden which now looks a mess
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Hi all
Samella would not take up driving again. I have my husbands car on our drive but had to move it when having our roof repaired it is awful not seeing it outside. My son is having the car to big for me and when I did drive it I always hit the curbs and scratched the trims. Mick would say you’re hit the curbs again I would say have I.
Jay I know it’s hard try to keep up with the garden I believe your wife would want you to. Mick started loads of jobs around the house but obviously not finished I knew what we wanted so after lock down my brothers are going to finish them.
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Morning,
To say sorry seems so inadequate at this time but we are all sorry for you and our selves.
I seem to be getting worse not better I lost my Husband n February and when all arrangements were to be made I was n auto pilot and everybody was here now that has dwindled in bless I ring you hem and here what th y are doing and perhaps a little jealousy comes in,even with lockdown th y seem to do things.
I am going to my Sons later will be lovely but then the coming home to empty house and it starts again.
Please feel free to chat whenever I will always answer.
Take Care.
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She waited 17 years to get the front of the house painted. I had asked someone to do it then she passed away a week later. Got is painted so she left here for the last time with it painted but never saw it together or with her eyes.
Awful I have a big house I wander around still looking for him expecting him to be in one of the rooms 3 months I seem to be struggling more realistic he’s not coming back and hate it x
I truly believe they are still around maybe it’s just me but I tell Mick the roof has been done now jobs are getting done his probably saying I would have done them eventually
I talk to allison all the time. Always say goodnight and good morning and throughout the day tell her I’m trying to cope and how much I miss het
I think we all do on here since Mick passed everything has gone wrong my dog slipped a disc vet fees 4000 that’s with them putting 2000. My roof had a big leak another cost driving his car a big crack on windscreen I’m sure his testing me to see if I can cope when he would normally do jobs etc
I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. Lost my husband 8 months ago to cancer, and just 3 weeks ago lost my son-in-law. The pain is still very raw, you have to think of the good times you both had together. I know that is easier said than done, and each day is a struggle for us.
I really feel for you. It’s enough to go through the trauma of losing your loved one without having additional problems to deal with. If I accidentally broke something in the kitchen I would have a meltdown even if it was easily replaced, just because my nerves are so raw.
I think that sometimes women can find it more difficult than men when losing a loved one. That’s why I would prefer to shoulder this pain rather than leave her with it. Of course that wasn’t a choice either of us could have made. I’m only eight weeks in so I’ve got a long way to go.
Wishing you better days. AL