Enjoy the walk john and the fresh air ive got a few people befrending service for Linda’s mum coming at 2 pm see if she accepts that service to try and lift her mood she is getting more down with losing linda and not able to get downstairs due to her falling and breaking her arm 3 years back now she is just upstairs bound now it hurts to see this once independent lady like this now esp covid did the damage and then covid taking linda it really turned the knife for us after keeping it at bay all this time hope today is ok for you as much it can take care
Martin
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I hate doing cards, not putting Sue’s name on hurts. It has also upset people when they get them. The worst for me was a wedding anniversary card, cried buying it and writing it. Sent it early as i just wanted it out of the house.
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Hope it’s a good day for you John. Every new day is like an experiment. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.
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Good morning John
I am going to walk into town today, it’s about six miles, so I will get an Uber home.
It’s sunny here, it looks pretty outside.
It’s market day in town, haven’t been since Mark passed.
Have a good day, you may need a nap, as you didn’t sleep well.
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Good morning, everyone. I’m just so glad I found this site. I don’t feel quite so isolated, knowing that the same feelings of absolute desolation and despair are felt by others, too.
Like you were saying, John, missing out your wife’s name on cards isn’t easy at all. Those who love you will understand, seeing her name alongside yours and if they don’t….well, it doesn’t matter, does it?
I’ve got a couple of family birthdays this week. Having to just write ‘ Love from Grandma’ to my lovely 35-yr-old granddaughter and ‘Love from Great-Grandma’ to my 15-yr-old great-grandson doesn’t seem right at all. Then, I remember that they loved him, too.
I had to go and buy a new iPad yesterday. Lots of the older messages are now showing up on the Messenger part and I’m trying not to look at them because many of them are from me to family and vice-versa discussing how Ian was, eg, had the nurse been in, had he eaten anything today, just the usual things, but I’m trying not to see them. They’ll disappear, eventually, no doubt. I’m not very good with technology so I don’t want to try and erase them.
Try and have a gentle day. Sending warm thoughts to you all.
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@Johnr
Such a lovely photo of you and your beautiful Jackie on your wedding day. You both look so happy. It makes me smile, but sad at the same time… why can’t we just stay in that state of happiness forever? I wish we could “freeze-frame” those times. I think Jackie would be very proud of you John. Take care xx
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@Johnr
Of course she will be proud of you. She loved you and you loved her.
Life changes over years and at least you stayed together through thick n thin.
Me n my ex hubby divorced back in the mid 90s but we are the best of friends…
If that hadn’t happened I would never have met my soulmate 20 years plus later n learned what true love felt like…I have no idea what we would’ve been like if we’d had the time you had together…
Always a reason for everything…
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@Johnr
John don’t ever be sorry, we all have our weapy days and they’re bloody awful
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@Johnr
I’m extremely sentimental, John. So I’m always contemplating, why we get old (if we’re lucky)… why we get sick… why we have to experience the heartache of losing our beloved soulmates. What is this life actually all about? I don’t have any of the answers though. I didn’t have to think too much about this when I was blissfully happy with the love of my life… before terminal cancer… I wish we could just stay happy with our special people 
1967 is the year I was born.
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@Johnr
Is that your boot…???
How clean is that…mine is a complete state with bags n receipts all over it…I hate cleaning my car and John used to sort it out for me, putting bags inside of bags…His was a worst state than mine though.
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Beautiful picture John im same i used to be a car valeter out of school first job so i just hated messy cars linda was same stuff stuck in all gaps and pockets but she always said well i live with a car valeter its fine and just look at me id just start laughing thats how it was i could never be cross with her ever she just look at me and give me her big grin that just made me giggle linda do that pack stuff esp coming to plymouth not forget a single thing me it was a nightmare id forget loads weepy days are a regular thing for us now john don’t apologise welcome @12mossgiel sorry your here on this horrid journey too my thoughts are with you i always put my name and then my heavenly Linda or angel Linda if they don’t like well its how itvis she will always be part of me forever hey @Flints that is a walk and half id be lucky to make it with my heart issue i miss my walking and mountain biking now still have my kayak but Ne linda last used it 2 years ago now
Take care all
Martin 
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Goodnight John
I had a good day in town, it was nice to see people just enjoying the sunshine, but it made me sad seeing so many happy couples, why did Mark have to die?
I became really sad when I got home, but that’s to be expected, he’s not here, and never will be with me again.
Have a good sleep.
Goodnight xx
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Goodnight everyone…Sleep well.x
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Goodnight xx
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Me either john but i hope you get some at least its becoming harder to sleep i feel most nights its 4/5 am for me personally but take care be safe speak soon everyone take care hugs
Martin 
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Fell asleep in the wee small hours, listening to my book on Audible. Woke at 4am, my arm flailing about on what was Ian’s pillow on his side of the bed. I haven’t dreamed about him yet and I don’t know why, because he’s in my thoughts all day.
Fed the cat….back in bed with a cuppa, listening to a blackbird singing its wee heart out. Another day dawning.
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Morning John. It will be good to have some company. Did you choose the paint colours?
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It will look great John. Jackie will be pleased.
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Good morning
I’m seeing my little Granddaughter today, she is eight. I don’t see her much, she is always busy,
Hope everyone has a pleasant day xx
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@Flints
That’s the thing with 8 years old they’re always busy as they should be.
I have four granddaughters ages 20,16,11 and 8. It’s lovely to see them and I love watching them grow and see what their interests are…
We have to cherish each moment don’t we because in the blink of an eye they’re grown up…
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