Thank you so much it really is hard and it’s horrible this pain I hope that you have a ok day take care
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The weather’s not too bad in Porthmadog at the moment, it’s dry and the sky’s not as grey as yesterday, it’s got some blue patches. I don’t have to go round Manchester to get here from home, I just have to go round Birmingham, I just stay on the M6 but the traffic gets so congested at all the junctions. My brain just doesn’t work like it did before I lost Rachel, I had a good sense of direction before, now I have to use my satnav to go places I’ve been hundreds of times. I’m not surprised you had a not good weekend, with your Birthday Friday and then travel today, as you know these episodes come and go & our mood goes up & down & there’s not always a reason behind it. I’ve been on this awful rollercoast over 2years now, grief is always our constant companion and is always waiting to trip us, usually just when we think we’re having a better day.
Have a good journey and try to enjoy your break as best you can.
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Love01, i am exactly the same as you, the feeling of emptiness, loneliness, i feel so lost, scared on my own , we had a house so full of love and laughter , now its all cold snd so quiet i hate it i got up this morning and just sat crying, I just want my husband back and the life we made together , i hate being on my own, i do have support from my family, but i still feel so alone on my own , sending hugs to everyone that needs one today x
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That’s how I feel, I’m 2 months in and I know it is early days but the pain I feel every morning is awful 
, then it lingers all day. I have days when I just can’t function at all. The tears just flow. I’m so scared on my own. We had so many things to do to the house and now I can’t do it all. I’m so sorry you’re going through this too, sending hugs to you.
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Its horrible, someday I feel like im coping then tears just come and i can’t stop crying, im so sad all the time and feel so lonely, it is very scary on your own, I dont know what to do with myself at all, I hate this I really do 
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Thank you so much I hate this club that we are all in we never asked to be in take care
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Thank you so much it really is so hard I am exactly the same I wish I had family but I am totally alone in my own head not a good place to be take care
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I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this too. Have you got family or friends nearby I know I’ve got some good friends, it helps a little when they’re here but then ultimately they go home and I’m left in a lonely house. Like you I really don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve always been a strong person, but this has just knocked everything out of me, I keep coming on here as lots of people are so comforting and helpful. I feel very lonely today, it’s cold and windy outside, I really don’t want to go out for a walk today. Sending hugs
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Hope you get through your day as best as you can . Like you we had some plans for holidays, days out ect . All gone in the blink of an eye . I am trying to navigate my way forward. Look after yourself 
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I do have family that are a great support to me, friends have drifted away, they probably can’t cope with my feelings anymore and getting on enjoying their own lives, my family have been great but they too are all settled and have their own lives, they can’t be helping me all the time, I do put on a brave face but im still on my own now, everyone around me have partners which makes it hard for me to see, I honestly dont know what’s going to happen with me, I cant seem to get on at all x
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Thank you so much, I can’t bear it some days. I hope you try to have an ok day, I’m really hoping I can just do a couple of jobs today, but it’s a struggle some days, just miss him so so much. Lots of love 
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I sorry you’re struggling at the moment. I seem to have a better day , followed by a day when I am down again. It’s really hard being on your own after being a couple for so long . I am trying to stay positive and navigate my way forward. It’s easier said than done . All we can do is keep going.look after yourself
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I know how you feel, my brother wants me to go and see him as he lives 100 miles away, but I just can’t, I can’t cope with everyone being couples around me at the moment. Even though I’m lonely, my house is a safe space for me at the moment. I understand, sending hugs
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You can do this please be strong. Think of your dear wife and she would not want you to give up. You need to keep her memory alive with stories and always remember the good times you shared.
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Night night everyone x
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My beloved husband died suddenly 4 months ago and I just wanted to stay at home where I felt safe. But my son asked me to come and stay with him and his family. In Los Angeles! So I booked flights and here I am. The day before I travelled I cried and cried because I thought I wouldn’t be able to cope. Had night in airport hotel which was awful. Then connecting flights. But it was all worth it to be with family. Surprised myself and feel quite proud. The pain is the same but seeing everything from a distance has given me some unexpected peace. I hope you can get to visit your brother soon. You may surprise yourself.
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That’s wonderful, well done x
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Love01,
I can so relate to how you feel.What i still find so hard to accept was the suddeness and unexpectedness my dear wife was taken from me.She was here one moment gone the next.What really hurts me too is i couldnt say goodbye to her properly, tell her how much i love her and always will love her.So many things i want to ask her.Am i doing things right?She was my world, my everything, my reason for everything i did.I walk to work, come back to the empty, sad lonely house,it was so once full of joy and hapinness.My life has changed for ever, i have changed for ever, nothing will ever be as it was.This is a new chapter in my book of life but i want to turn the pages back to what i knew and loved.It is an awful journey we find ourselves on but we have to try our best to cope the best we can, thats all we can do.Hold onto our happy memories even though as i find they come with sadness.Please look after yourself.we are all here for each other, to help and support each other.
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Well done Cathymb you certainly deserve to be proud of travelling on your own all that way. Have a lovely time with your family. Wishing you all the best
Tom
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Goodnight everyone x
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