I’m in a pub at the moment. It’s ok but I know I will burst into tears when I go homr
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So sorry, Brummy, I feel like I am going backwards too, its so hard every single day, but we carry on, each day, theres no other choice unfortunately 
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Mezza1958
I agree with what you said, its so hard every single day.I am trying so hard to cope but the grief is like a tidalwave at times and just engulfs you.Weekends are extra difficult, i think a lot of us on here find that too.As you say we carry on as we have no other choice.Take care
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I tried going out tonight with some friends. It was ok-ish, but coming home was awful.
I’m sobbing my heart out. 
I don’t think I’ll go out again on a Saturday for a long time, if ever
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Not really ok. Forcing myself to go out on a Saturday didn’t really work. I’ll be ok, but I didn’t really like going out tonight.
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Good night people.
Hopefully have a better day tomorrow
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I am so sorry John.I find the coming back home so upsetting.It was my wifes home and she was always here to welcome me back, now its just so empty and the lonelliness is so painful.
I hope you manage to sleep ok, im going shortly,tomorrow will be my sad day but every day is sad, Sundays particularly so but weekends generally.
Goodnight John take care
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Sorry your night wasnt good i have been saying for ages i need to force myself to go and meet people but i get so anxious i feel its a catch 22 i am lonely but i cant seem to do anything about it. Hope you have a better day tomorrow
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This is me i feel i have gone backwards and have no idea how to go forwards again its just a never ending circle sometimes. I just say to myself tomorrows another day and yoyve survived this one
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I feel the same Daisy. My lovely neighbour, who cooks me a meal on Sundays asked if I wanted to join them this evening for a picnic in the garden before they watch the football.
I made an excuse that I was doing something , but the truth is I can’t face being among couples. I would just make it miserable for others.
I am not much of a fan of football anyway, particularly female football 
You have a good day 
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Another day has started. Looks a bit grey out there, but no rain yet.
Try to have as good a day as you can
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I am sorry last night didn’t work out. At least you got out and tried. Johnr you have to do what is best for you on this path.
I think it gets harder when we go back a step or two, but we have to remember we went forward a little.( says me crying again)
I hope everyone has a better day then yesterday.
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Morning All.
Well I got in from delayed flight from Cyprus at 5 am this morning so extremely tired. My roomie came down with a really bad cold the last three days so yesterday I started with the same thing, so thanks Alison for sharing it with me…!!!
Being tired and feeling a bit under the weather has started a tsunami of tears for John which I haven’t had for months now. I thought that might have passed but that realisation just comes knocking at the door again and the age old question WHY…???
I don’t want to get out of bed and start the holiday wash……so I’m staying put.
I really do hope you are all having a better day than me…
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Morning Mitzi. Glad you’re safely back home.
So sorry you are having a bad day. I know it’s no consolation, but so am I.
I too have suddenly been hit with the realisation that Jackie is finally gone.
‘Experts’ will no doubt say that that we have both reached that stage on this dreadful journey we undertake, where this is normal.
But it’s not normal for both of us. This time last year, we were both looking forward to many more years with our respective partners.
Those dreams have truly been torn apart.
You really look after yourself. 
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@Johnr
Sorry it’s a bad day for you as well.
We both know and everyone else on here knows that these tearful or tsunami days are going to come because that’s the price we pay for loving someone.
On the plane I kept thinking that I could never meet anyone else and allow myself to get close because I need to protect me from this kind of pain…
Maybe one day a friendship but that’s how it was with John the first couple of months n then bang I was head over heels and I would judge someone else n compare and that’s not fair at all…
What a bloody path we’re all on…
You take care and I hope your day gets better…
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Easily the worst day for me so far. Grief really is the price we pay for love.
I too am unsure whether I could ever put myself through this pain ever again.
Having said that, I am not sure I want a life of loneliness, for whatever remains of my life.
So hell of a dilemma. 
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I have had a horrible weekend but i absolutely hate the weekends as me and my wife would spend the most together we allways spend alot of time to we never needed anyone apart from us allni have done is sob my heart out since Friday as that was my birthday i only lost my wife 10 weeks ago i still.cant get it out my head how suddenly it happened i am still in shock and the truma this might sound silly i was hanging up my washing for the week to dry and i saying this is not right i should be hanging my wifes clothes up to everything i look at in the house is memories i even remember buying things together i am really really struggling without her i just want her to put her koving arms around me and saying it will be ok i miss her sweet voice her laughing at me or together so much i cant go the emptiness and loneliness i am to young i only just turned 51 on Friday my wifes birthday was the 1st july that was so hard to that day but every min of every day is hard i am.so heartbroken i have never felt pain like this before i honestly dont know how i will ever get through of what life i may have left everything is so painful
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So sorry to hear of the loss of your wife.
It’s so devastating for us all here. My wife, Jackie, passed 20 weeks ago and it’s been like living in hell for that time.
It’s a struggle, but those whose losses have been much longer, say that we will learn to live with it.
You have many more years ahead of you, much more than me, so please look after yourself.
Take care
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Seeing other couples is difficult. I don’t wish them ill, I just want go back and be one of them.
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Exactly Rose.
I want my Jackie back, but sadly it’s never going to happen
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