I don’t have dreams, but another day waking up and the same thoughts ( I’m still here ) I’ve been sitting here since about seven needing to shower. I’m going to try my best to have more positive thoughts today as it’s a miserable way to live, I don’t want to become physically ill because of this depression, that’s all I need.
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I know, i never want to stop seeing her. I tried to go back to sleep, but alas not to be. It’s been hit with the reality afterwards what hurts. I just hope it means we will be together again. Glad you’re back down to one breakfast at the moment I’m one meal a day and maybe crisps if i feel up to it. I was going yo try a walk day but that’s gone with how i feel at the moment. Take care
Hi patsy, i think we all have them thoughts about waking up. Sometimes when i wake up i swear and ask Sue why can’t i be with you. For some reason we get up and keep going. We never had that conversation about me continuing without her as we thought she had a bit longer yet. Now I’m 57 alone and like the rest of us trying to find a reason to life. I am just a zombie at the moment trying to do stuff find a new path. It is hard when everything important has been taken from us.
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Hi Nightwish, I think it helps us all to chat on this forum, we can share things we might not say to family. I also believe we will meet our loved ones again. Remember you’re not alone, I’m like you , alone but then I tell myself I can come on this site and we’re all in the same very sad situation. I went for a walk, good to get some air, then back to empty house!! Sending you hugs.
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I agree tbh. Nothing seems the same, no appetite for anything tbh. Ive found the experience gruelling and torturous. Still do. What do we do? Cant fill the emptiness, its too big!
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My get up and go vanished with her. Trying to sort out my Greenhouse as Son has said come on Dad got to get the Tomatoes going. Bur She is not there to enjoy them.
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Yes, i agree. The thing is, sometimes i ask what she would do. And if i think she would do something I do it. I cant always summon up this strength but it does nake it ckearer at times
Thinking of you today Gill XX. How’s everyone today? Here I am again sitting can’t get going. This grief is so exhausting. I must get some sort of routine. Not sleeping well at all so know that doesn’t help.
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Just finished some housework very half hartley. Burnt my self ironing my fault head elsewhere. Like every one just feel so drained. Went out across the road to talk to the lad across this weekend lasted about 10 minutes. He just kept telling me how crap his life is, as i look across at a empty house. I never thought i could cry everyday at the drop of a hat.
I hope you’re days are going better. One step.
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It’s so so tough this grief process isn’t it…
I’m coming up to 8 weeks since I lost my Mum.
This week I’ve felt so low.
I’m back at work but have no energy.
This week I’ve felt so lost.
Shocked at how this grief takes over so much.
I a very upbeat person but feel the plug has been pulled out & im drained…
Sending love & thoughts to all who are on this journey.
Will
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Sending love to you too
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I take it was your hand you burnt, hope it’s not too sore. I’ve been in the shower, then hoovered one room. Spoke to my lovely family over the weekend, they’re all so far away. I now don’t get so many calls from others, if I call them they’re either out or busy. I know people have to get on with their lives, it’s understandable. It helps me to come on this forum as I’m very lonely. My thoughts are with everyone on this site.
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No fore arm leaning over. Need Sue to kiss it better. Even at our ages we did daft stuff like that and kissing gates on walks. Yes everyone else seems to move on but us. Glad you got one room hoovered its a start.
Wondering how everyone’s day has been. I got a couple of things down, my heart’s not in though. Had two lovely phone calls this afternoon., then half an hour ago a text from my sister saying she and my brother in law going on holiday tomorrow. I’m feeling very hurt as she hasn’t phoned me for three weeks ( she insists she phones me as any time I ring her she’s always busy ) sorry for moaning but she knows how much I’m hurting, think she could have rung me to tell me. I’m just feeling so sorry for myself. A five minute call can give such a boost, when you’re on your own.
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Hang in Patsy. It’s like whats been said before people don’t know how to talk to us. Luckily they have not or going through what hell we are in. A friend has been going to ring me for a fortnight. As i don’t have many friends i put up with this. I go days without speaking to anyone. I think my longest was a week even my sisters don’t ring as much about once a week now. I don’t like to pester them as you say they have there own lives to lead. Its so lonely when you suffer the loss we have. As for my day sad bits and crying bits a medium wave. Just some crisps to eat,can’t be bothered to put the oven on.
Its called ‘being selfish’ and ig orant. Ive learned this with my experience. I just switch off and ignore people, afterall lip service is just what it is. Ive a better perception of people now, ill never be naive in thinking that people care unless they show me, action - not words. Look after yourself, nurse yourself and only reach out to those who do care x
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I too know what its like not speaking to other people. I regularly go a day or two without physically speaking to anyone…texting and e mails etc are no substitute for actual talking. I talk to myself a lot now, telling myself what I’m going to do…bizzare really. I find being on my own so difficult to cope with, I’ve never lived a single day on my own prior to losing my darling wife, its all so alien to me
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I leave Radio 4 on in the kitchen all day for the illusion of company. Does not really cut it but seems to help a bit.
Nightwish and Dan, thank you for getting back, I’ve shed a few tears reading your messages and telling myself that I’m not alone with kind people like you to share things with . People are a bit selfish and they don’t know what it’s like to be in this heartbreaking situation. I’m really sad that my sister didn’t phone as she knows I’m so very lonely but I must move on . I hope you both have a restful sleep. Nightwish please try and have a little something to eat. I know what it’s like, I never have an appetite. X X
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You are not alone. I know a lot of the times it feels like it. I am amazed how much i have posted on here from my broken heart. Like you i need this as it is both horrible thing but knowing you are not alone and people who understand you are here. So how are we all doing ?
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