@Stowie. No, it’s not just us that’s unable to listen to music we enjoyed with our loved ones, it appears to be a very common part of grieving.
I cannot watch tv progs we enjoyed, I’m reduced to old quiz progs. I hate shopping, walking past things he liked. I have visited one special place he liked and it was so traumatic. If I ever have another holiday, then it will have to be to a place we didn’t go to together.
Let us hope we will be able to enjoy everything we enjoyed with our other halves in time.
xx
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It really just isn’t the same. We didn’t watch many of the same programmes. Most of them were quizzes where we would compete. I can’t watch moto gp at all now. I am going to have to learn to cook. I can’t live on ready meals forever. I went straight from home into marriage and then he always cooked. Not really interested.
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The poem my brother wrote when he thought hie was losing his wife earlier this year
The darkness loses in somber folds
Brooding, menacing it locks me in its holds
Like a tunnel with no end bereft of light
For you my heart my joy have taken flight
And passed beyond the reach of my embrace
Now and forever lost without a trace
And now only the bitter sweet footfall
Of memories shall be my all in all
I linger on my life an open door
That leads to nothing much and nothing more
There’s nowhere else to run no place to hide
Except my heart where you’ll be locked inside
In burning bonds of love whose golden beams
Will light the embers of my fading dreams
For me this sums up the pain and he hasn’t even suffered it yet but knows it’s coming
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Should be closes not loses in first line
Hi, I list my husband in May from a sudden cardiac arrest and we had been together 38 years, I am just about getting through each day.
I can relate. I lost my husband in June and every single day is a struggle. I cry just about every day. Sometimes all day. It’s exhausting isn’t it? And then people ask you to make decisions with a brain that is mush. I have a therapy assessment tomorrow and when I get really bad I go to online grief chat as trying to get anyone on the phone from one of the grief charities seems impossible. It is really sad that their are so many of us you can’t get through
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I hope your therapy assessment goes well tomorrow. xx
Thank you rosemary. I really hope it goes well and if I get counselling it helps. I am fed up being told i am doing well. If this is well I hate to think what is bad. Love Sandraxx
Good luck Pudding, hope it goes well for you.
Love to you Ravtino, we all know what your going through. It’s hard, so very hard.
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I agree Sandra, a neighbour told me this morning how well I was doing, I haven’t seen her for well over a month. I said, ‘follow me home and you will see the reality of my grief’. I am a complete disaster and look awful as well,
I am trying to be good and cook this evening, it’s a struggle but there’s salmon in the oven and veg about to be cooked, I did burn my arm on the oven shelf … well out of practice!
Sending love and hugs, Rosemary xx
I don’t eat fish. Never have. Something to do with father and uncle working a billings gate and the smell. My dinner not as healthy. Steak pie and beans but at least I am avoiding the chips and I have eaten fruit as my snack today. I hope you put something on your arm.
Thank you, it sure is hard
Bless you, it’s early days.
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It is so hard. All we can do is try to survive 1 day at a time and if we manage not to cry it is a good day
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I have been doing the same, and then thinking why am I bothering without my lovely husband xx
It is, I have tried many bereavement charities and many have closed there books.
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I am like you. We used to Fly fish together. I will never fish again. I was thinking of going away next year on my own but where to? I went to so many places with him I could not bear to go to them on my own. Years ago I had lots of friends and used to go away with our local gardening club but that stopped during coid. I have found 2 local coffee mornings to go to so that helps. I have lots of runner beans at the moment so I am taking them to people and if I am lucky they will talk for a while. Just trying to fill my days.
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I agree, it’s all the things we did together which are difficult to even think about doing now. Like you, we went away a great deal and I really do not want to go to any of those places again, I just want to remember them with my husband, I have people say to me it is ridiculous, maybe it is, but that’s personal to me. I spent a night away with the family a few weeks ago and shared a room with my 11 years old granddaughter. It was fine but, to be in an hotel without my husband was difficult. If I do eventually go away, I will have my own room, cannot face sharing.
I will always feel lost and lonely without my husband and have to accept it, that large black hole is always there. I do feel him with me and talk to him.
I hope the lucky people who have some of your beans, chat to you and, hopefully, invite you for a coffee. xx
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I have said exactly the same, I don’t want to go on holiday to the places me and my les went x no one knows till in that position x
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@Debbie25
All the places my husband and I went to are staying in my memory, They are precious to me and I wouldn’t want to change them with new memories. I have friends who do go back but we all have our own way of dealing with things.
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