Hi Janette, we will never ever be the same person again. We will make new memories and connections, our lives forever changed. We will always have our soulmate with us, guiding us in this new life without them in their physical presence. This thought is what keeps me going.
3 Likes
I do cut roses from our yard and place them next to his urn regularly🌹
1 Like
Its so hard isnt it , but i feel every day is hard my stomach still turns over when reality hits me .
2 Likes
I know, me too. having a hard time believing this is real, that this is my future without my mate.
Shouldn’t be the natural course of life, to lose your other half, but it is. The harder we’ve loved the harder we grieve.
2 Likes
To be honest though i didnt realise until this happened to my lovely husband.
A friend lost her husband 10 years ago.
I was sympathetic at the time but its only now i realise the full depth of her loss.
I did apologise to her
4 Likes
So true, I never could have imagined. Wish I could have known while my Danny was still alive. Instead of running around trying to control everything during his last days, I regret not laying and caressing him every last moment while he was alive and here. Instead I was in such disbelief
a zombie, just unwilling to except what was truly happening. Even the hospice nurse told me and my children he wasn’t going anywhere soon. Meaning to us he had weeks or months still. He went shockingly fast. Devestating
1 Like
My husband had a heart attack at work
We were with him at the hospital until they turned machine off .
But he knew how much he was loved so i dont worry about that …just hard to cope without him 
2 Likes
Same here. You can empathise but never truly understand. I apologised to my friend too!
1 Like
You did the best you could. I have regrets, too, things I feel I missed.
1 Like
Just had message off friend…" hope you having a good day today"! Came from a well meaning place i know but shot to heart like a dagger, its 5 weeks today i lost my husband, and my son who is 25 is in hospital after self medicating with tablets due to all this with his dad dying. He has been put on acute ward same room as his dad was in 7 weeks ago. So no i am not having a good day 
7 Likes
I have a friend who says this , usually says good day ish .
Im 6months in and learnt it does depend what mood im in .
Some days i can take it.best thing is to just send a heart back …itscoming from a good place x
Hi Shabelabob,
It can be a minefield for our friends , poor things , but people just need to thing about their words before they just send out platitudes .
So sorry to hear about your son, must be so stressful for you . X
3 Likes
Shabelabob
How could you have a good day with all that trauma in your life.
I hope your son recovers
You need someone to share your pain. This community is always ready to listen and understands.
Take care of yourself.
2 Likes
Thank you Nancy, hopefully all the should haves will calm down someday soon from my racing thoughts which seem to have no end.
Keeping busy keeps them at bay, temporarily.
happy memories are my saving grace, my family, and this community as well.
2 Likes
Thank you @Julia12 and @JanetteR1 it is bit stresfull right now, but i am trying keep going, thank you all xx
1 Like
Keeping busy really helps doesnt it .
Sometimes i feel i dont stop …worried what will happen wen i do 
2 Likes
Yes @JAH25 it does help me, and yes stopping is the worry! I try to do some good thing for me when i can, its hard though isn’t. I am making a little plan for myself, get some good books to read, i just started " sudden widow " by Bella Lynn Thompson, very small book and its ok so far. Although i dont like the word widow, at all! Planning to get back to walking, this helps me even when i dont think it will, drink more water! Just simple things that i have not been doing x
3 Likes
I like to read but cant concentrate yet …
I do know it will help me eventually.
Every day is a challenge.
1 Like
Hi @JAH25 i get that, i read a page and nothing sticks and then forget what happened when pick up next day! 
but i take is slow now. You are absolutely right every day is a challenge! This space coming here has helped me massively, although its not a space any of us wanted to be in is it, take care x
1 Like
I only joined this week but its nice to know everyone fewls the same as me .
Goodnight x
3 Likes