How will I ever cope?

Losing a partner
41

Good morning ARDG

I’m not sure if you’ve already been to see your GP but maybe a chat might help. Sometimes a short course of anti depressants can help but I’m sure your GP would be able to give you some support anyway. I know that a lot of places are reluctant to offer bereavement counselling so early on but my son paid to see a bereavement counsellor and really felt it beneficial. Have you thought about some alternative therapies for yourself? Reflexology maybe?

I hope you’re doing OK. There are lots of people here for you x

42

I actually received a call from the doctor and they have written me a script, I’m a bit reluctant to take anything at the moment, but I’ll collect the prescription today and take it from there.

I keep thinking about how I know D would want me to battle on, then think if she thought that, then maybe she didn’t know how much I loved her, relied on her and worshipped the ground she walked on.

43

Hi ARDG

I too asked the doctor for some sleeping tablets. But when i went to get them they said they had a low dose of anti depressants in them. I left them there. I was on antidepressants before when i met M. I was so happy with him i forgot to take them. I dont really eant to go on them just yet. I think they just mask the pain that will have to come out sometime

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44

@ARDG. I’m the same. The pain is horrific. If I’m going to feel like this forever, I can’t see the point of going on and I’d rather not.

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45

That was the same for myself Jane, through the happiness of my time with D, my mental health was improved to levels I could never have imagined.

As I’m typing this, I just feel utter dread, just considering how much life has changed in a short time.

46

Hi Jean, just take things a day at a time its all I can do xx

47

Hi @LillianB. I was married for 37 years too but known him since I was 16. The pain is intolerable. I’m so very sorry for your loss xx.

48

I am sorry for your loss too Jean. We werent married but had been engaged for 35 years. I met Billy when I was 29 and he was 27. He asked me to marry him loads of times but we never got round to it. When he was diagnosed with cancer in April I said lets get married and he said yes lets do it but sadly never made it, but a piece of paper doesnt matter now to be honest. I have just came in from work and again the emptiness is overwhelming me. You will be the same Jean. My friend also lost het husband in Aug this year. Billy and I met Ken and Fiona in Turkey 12 years ago so we have been phoning one another as she is in London. Please do try to think of the good times and take care of yourself too, I know its so very hard though but your husband would want you to same as Billy would for me because they loved us xx

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49

Hi

So sorry for your loss.

I lost my soulmate end of July and I re live that day each day and have so many questions to why it happened I have never felt pin like it. In a split second my life changed for ever and I feel it ended but I have to go on for my daughter. He was not my father biological dad but to her he was her dad. There is so many issues things we didn’t do cause thought would have a life time. Now I live with so many regrets. I have no words of comfort as I am trying to find them for myself sorry. People say it gets easier but for me each day is harder I miss him more than what I would have and I know that sounds terrible but I lways knew he meant the qorld to me but I have learnt just how much he was everything to me my lover, partner, soumate, best friend the person I talked to about everything he was my everything.

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50

Me too my husband was soul.mate my safety my rock and my Knight, I was in a bad place when.i met him and he pulled me out of it. He made all my dreams come true I thought I would grow old with him. I’m mourning the loss of our future together and how he won’t see his daughter at her prom or see her get married or see our grandkids.

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51

I’m so sorry to hear about your partner.
All I can do is to let you know that there are so many lovely & supportive people on here & this page has helped me so much.
We are all here to help you through it & I’m here if you need to chat because it really in my experience helps.
Your emotions come like waves.
Let them come & go don’t hold them in.
It truly is a devastating pain but please believe me it’s so good to talk about it & let it all out.
Were here for you :heart:

52

I missed you today but that’s nothing new,

I missed you a million times yesterday too.

I picked up my phone to tell you the news,

then realised, again, I can’t text it to you.

I saw your bright smile, at least twenty times,

and then I remember, it’s all in my mind.

I drive without presence, the world feels surreal,

And on comes your song and this doesn’t seem real.

I missed you today but I miss you a lot,

It’s helpful to miss you, it’s all that I’ve got.

I wish I could pull you down here for a while

I’m frightened to lose the shape of your smile.

I miss you today and I’ll miss you tomorrow,

There seems to be no coming end to this sorrow.

I try to go on as I know that you care,

I know that you’re willing me on from up there.

I miss you today but I’m trying to find,

A way to move on but not leave you behind.

A way to forge on with the love that we had,

A way to recall you and simply feel…glad.

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53

ARDG
Beautiful words

54

Hi, I lost my partner 3 weeks ago suddenly and unexpectedly got up went to work and he died at work, im only 37, my whole world has fallen apart and I am so lost iv had 2 organise funeral nothing we really ever discussed and his funeral was last wed. Worst day of my life by far. I feel I have no purpose but I have no choice with my son who needs me. If I didn’t have him don’t think I’d be here. If u ever need a chat feel free. Iv just joined to talk 2 other ppl going through same as no1 knows unless going through it

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55

They aren’t mine, should have added that - but we’ve included this in D’s order of service. Felt really poignant.

56

Hi @Vivz. I am also just over 3 weeks in. It’s horrific. 37 years married and gone very suddenly, no warning, no illness, nothing. It was literally as if someone had pulled the plug out.

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57

Hi I lost my husband suddenly yesterday and I don’t know how I’m going to live without him I can’t even be strong for my kids i just don’t know what today how are you coping I’m sorry for your loss

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58

Hi @Lyndsey82 im so sorry for your loss, i actually have no idea how i havent brokn yet i know i will and it will proably be at xmas! I think i have to for my son hes 12 and hes now scared of losing me. Im living day by day i cry most days but then i have good days and i feel guilty for living and he isnt. I miss him so much and that will never go away. I dunno how im carrying i just am and living in a blur.

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59

That’s how I feel we are l trying to do the best for our children whilst hurting ourselves i just wish they had taken me instead life is so cruel it’s bad enough happening anytime of the year but so close to Christmas X

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60

Yeah i get that im exactly the same i keep expecting him to still come home tho, he died at work just dropped and we wemt to see him at hospital. I got his ashes back last week and its a tiny comfort that hes home even if its not how i want him home. I keep asking myself why him why did he have to die he was only 48 its just not fair. How old are yoir children xx

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