How you aged

I sat looking at photos today of my hubby.

I can’t believe how the cancer had aged him. He looked like a really old man, he was only 64. Then I remembered when we went out shopping, before he couldn’t go out any more.

He was leaning against the baskets. I was talking to him. A woman asked me, is your dad alright. The hurt in his eyes, was awful. I told he was my husband. She went red. He just blurted out, isn’t it awful how cancer ages you.

That was one of the very few times, I saw him well and truly hurt. I paid for the shopping. Put my arm round him. Kissed him. Told him, I loved him. Right at that moment I wanted the world to know


I am so sorry that both you and your husband had to hear that awful comment, it was truly heartbreaking. It is very difficult to watch the person you truly love suffering and changing so much. My Husband was 65 when he passed so I know where you are coming from. Sending love and hope :heart:

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oh how I identify with the ageing look - my husband wasnt young but the last two months when the cancer really took hold were awful! He was in hospital for 13 days before he died and the last three were horrendous - became gaunt and “cachectic” suddenly! Thought this was because he wasnt eating but obviously the end was near! A different topic - I am now three months into the grief journey and having bad days and not quite so bad days! Just read that three months in could be worst time as finality and permanence start to set in. This morning woke up feeling abandoned even though have a good family! any tips on how to get through really bad days? sending love and hugs Cynthoniaxx


I remember the last time my Keef and I wandered up our local micropub on New Year’s Eve 2022. One of my friends came up to him and said "you need to eat something, you look as if you are 93 not 63!). We didn’t know then that the cancer had returned, but I think I had an idea as he was no longer himself. Not only did he look really old but he could hardly walk and this was someone who’s main hobby was going for long walks in the countryside. Little did we know that about 3 weeks later he’d be rushed into hospital because he couldn’t breathe and then on February 11th he went having only been diagnosed with cancer a week before but because he was so weak they couldn’t treat him. I try to blot out those images of the “old man” as I want to remember him as the fit happy person he really was. During his time in hospital he hardly said anything and very quickly deteriorated.


Unbeknown to me my stepdaughter took a photo of myself and her dad. I love the photo. It’s the last one that was ever taken. Yeah he looks like an old man, but he’s my old man.

The reason she took it, she said was, because even though he was so ill, the way you were looking at each other, you could see the love between you.


I have started to sit and look at photos. Remembering what we were doing. Talking to him about them.

I’m working on the promise I made him, about looking after myself. It’s hard, because he always gave me encouragement.

I’ve started to write poetry again. My feelings of now.

I talk about him alot. Not a conversation goes by, that he isn’t mentioned.

On the really bad days, I don’t unlock my door.


Bless you . I know just how you feel . I Had to watch my wife slowly eaten away by cancer over 2 years and sitting here writing this and looking at a picture of her when she was well smiling and happy . Yes cancer is bloody awful . But its all part of Gods great plan dont you know !!! NoNoNo . Dont get me started on that fantasy garbage !!! Al the best to you x


Would it offend anyone if I put our last picture on here

Not at all, whatever helps you x

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Here is our last photo. I love it.

Here is a photo of when he was well


Bless you and thank you for the photographs eternal love is a wonderful thing :heart:

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Sending you strength . Life is a wonderfull thing but can also be so very cruel. All the very best xx

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Thank you Jeff. Hope you’re ok today

Im ok thank you for asking x

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Good to hear that.

Have you any plans for the weekend. I’m going to see if I can manage to sort out the spare room. Hubby was always saying it needed to be gone through. He said, I bet you don’t even remember what’s in there. :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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Yes i can get a bit like that . Me i will be out on my BMW motorbike tomorrow if its fine Bob and i dont like the wet stuff !! Thats the bikes name by the way !! . Sunday i wiĺl be clay pigeon shooting which i love been doing it for about 14 years now i have my own guns . Then later sort dinner which i hate doing . My wife used to ask me what i fancied for dinner and id say oh i dont mind and she would tut . I now know what it must have been like for her for 46 years as i never know and find it a bit if a bind . Thats enough of me good iuck with the spare room you never know you may find something exciting :wink:

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Clay pigeon shooting sounds fun. Hope you enjoy the bike ride. Hopefully weather will be good for that. You be careful out there.

I always did the cooking. I hate it now, cooking for one. No fun. I always asked hubby what would he like. Oh, don’t mind. Whatever you feel like making. Told him one day, I’m going on strike. He laughed. Said ok. What time does the chinese open :rofl::rofl::rofl:

Dread to think what will find in spare room.

Well you have have a good weekend x

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You as well x

My husband 5 days before he died of undiagnosed kidney cancer at the age of 53 years old. So sorry for your loss @mags66 . Cancer is so evil and unfair xx
Never noticed that he was so ill and had lost weight.