Molive I’m in total shock, my rock and soulmate passed only 3 weeks after being told he was palliative, having been misdiagnosed. I looked after him at home to and now I’m in denial hoping I will awake from this horrendous nightmare. He was only 58. I’m so distraught, empty,numb, angry and especially lonely. I’m missing Gary so much my heart is completely broken.
Morning Sharon,
Totally know how you feel as I feel the same. I come back from the garden expecting him to sit in his chair. When I wake up in the morning I put my arm out to feel him. I live day by day and dread the weekends but they come round far to soon. I just want to go where Bill is as I feel lonely like you. Marcella x
Marcella I dread every day and night. Been awake since 2 again this morning. Since Gary’s funeral it’s become unbearable.
Hugs x
I know Sharon I feel the same. I do not really want to be on this earth without Bill but have to go on for our sons and granddaughter. Life has no meaning any more. It was so cruel as well the way he died. He did not deserve that. He was the most kind generous and gentle man. I feel very lonely especially seeing all these happy Xmas shoppers! Big Hug xx
2 Likes
I am in a similar position. My husband collapsed and died whilst out running - he was only 50. He was the one that kept fit. My life ended that night. We have two young adults and we were just beginning to focus on our own life, although we’d spent the months leading up to his death caring for my mum. She is now is a bad state and his death affected his own mother so badly she is now in a worse state than mine. We had so many plans after focusing on everyone else. We just wanted to be together. I’m nearly 10 months on. I don’t know how we do this for years. Take care
1 Like
I am so sorry i totally understand what your going through. My husband died on the 16th October. We was together 32 years. And like you had lots of support and was so busy up until the funeral. Now I am alone. People say text or ring if I need a chat but when I do they are busy getting on with their lives. Wanting to spend time with their loved ones. Which I totally understand.
I am struggling without him I cry everyday and hardly sleep or eat. I have pain in my heart and my gp will not help me they always say in time it will get better. I hear him calling me for help and when I close my eyes I see him poorly
I use to love Christmas but now I wish it wasn’t happening. I just want to join him. The only things that keep me going is my autistic son and our dog.
When I was sad he was the one who wrapped his arms around me and made me feel safe and happy now I feel so alone and guilty I couldn’t save him.
I am so brokenhearted I just want him back.
2 Likes
So sorry that you are on here it is so very painful I feel the same as you lost my husband 7 months ago suddenly I too want to be with him have two adult children and grandchildren I realise that some how I have to stay around and cope with this new life for them they don’t need double pain with Christmas and new year it is going to be terrible my son says that we must be together and try to make new memories it’s hard I am not too good at texting sending hugs hope you some how find strength love to all on this journey xx
1 Like
Jules4 , Gary passed 8/11 so very raw. I can’t see a future without him. I don’t have a life just an existence. My world has fell apart and I have fell apart with it. My ability to function is get up, walk the dog in back lanes away from people, lock the front door and sit til it’s bedtime. When people are fit you don’t expect this to happen . Take care x
2 Likes
So sorry I totally understand what your going through. I do the same when I walk my dog I get up early so I don’t bump into anyone. I feel like I just go through the motions everyday. I do feel inside I died when my husband died. I wish it had been me that passed not him. It was just so sudden no warning at all. He was fit and healthy never even got man flu. He was the most loving caring husband father and pet owner I have ever know he was my life
1 Like
Hardly had any sleep this morning lay here feeling sick my heart pounding,this is a miserable existence without my husband,its been 11 weeks since Steve passed away and I feel worse than ever,I can’t stand the thought of never seeing him again
It’s physically painful the grief we have to endure,I to try to keep going for my grown up children and grandchildren,everything is so hard and lonely without our loved ones
Take care
Christine x
1 Like
Suzannew I’m in complete denial, still think he will walk through the door. I’m exhausted. I can’t cope. Like you I my life ended, I just wish I had gone first as this pain is unbearable. Xx
2 Likes
I do forget sometimes his gone. I look at the time think I better start dinner Paul will be home soon then it hits me all over again. I was wrapping up presents this morning for our family and writing out cards but still put his name on them I can’t bring myself not too. Stupid I know but I don’t want to believe he will never come home again. This is the worse pain I hate being here without him. I am so broken
1 Like
Suzannew I’m not doing Christmas, I have no interest in it. I can’t believe or should I say don’t want to believe Gary is no longer here x
Sharon I totally understand I wish I could just forget Christmas myself I have no choice I have an autistic son who needs me to try. I am only having a small Christmas just for him.
Suzanne just want to say I’m not sending many cards and the ones I have sent I put Gerrys name on as well. Just want xmas and new year over as soon as possible. Keep feeling so sick with sadness.
1 Like
Aww all us heartbroken people on here,we don’t deserve this pain just because we loved our husbands/wives so much
11 weeks since my husband passed away
Christmas used to be a lovely family time now I’m dreading it without my lovely husband of 51yrs,still can’t believe this has happened,I also feel sick most of the time,devastated
Take care everyone suffering
Christine x
1 Like
No, you don’t expect your life to change so suddenly. I don’t get how my mum and his mum are still here and suffering horrendously when his heart just stopped. He was my purpose. The things I wanted to do, I wanted to do with him. Without him there is no meaning to it all. Take care
1 Like
I think our life died with our soulmate. I am glad that it wasn’t him left behind though - I know he couldn’t have coped and I wouldn’t have wanted him to be in this pain. Take care
Jules4 my friend has just visited, she has now gone back home to her husband, but winged about him swearing at the tv whilst watching football. If only !
Me and my husband rarely even had a cross word. We appreciated time together. It seems so unjust that he isn’t here to enjoy our time and eventually our retirement. I just feel this heavy sadness all of the time for what should have been…