When our loved one dies it is common to feel we have died as well or wish we had. After some improvement I am feeling very low today, I knew this would happen. I was looking in my wardrobe and felt almost disgust at seeing my clothes. I thought I am a ghost, why are those clothes of mine still there? I feel I am haunting my own body, haunting my house. Why am I here, where am I? Has anyone else felt like this?
Yes, it’s nine months since my husband died I’m still going from room to room what for I don’t know I know he’s not coming back but I can’t believe he’s gone half the time I’m in a world of my own I feel like a stranger in someone else’s house
I suppose we are looking for peace. It feels as though nothing will ever feel right again. Maybe with time…
Yes i had a bad day today today.
Dont know why everywhere i go on house his things sre still aroind like hes still around. I lnow hes not coming bsck over 14 weeks now. Thought i was dong well last week joined choir book club and managed to go out shopping today back to square 1. I know it was not goong to be easy but didnt expect it to be so hard.
Just watched Fiji beat Australia in Rugby my husband was born there and we visited in Feb 2023 this year. I will be back sometime to scatter his ashes at old family home not quite sure when but maybe next year.
Another memory they are all around.
Tske care Lynne x
My husband’s things are still where he left them and that’s where they will stay even his electric toothbrush is standing next to mine in wash room for some reason it gives me comfort x
my dear @Lavenderlady1 - I hear you loud and clear. Every day I say " I wish you were here, Tom". I am here, in the house we shared, in the streets we walked. I weeded out my clothes, here and in France, and did the same again here. I shipped my pictures to our apartment in France and arranged for pictures and antiques here to go to auction. I know how you feel, and I know what I am doing is right, at least for me. Yes, the haunting, but also the turn of the page x
Hi @Lavenderlady1 Looking for peace - that’s such a good thought. Xxx
@Lin22 I’m with you there. I’m not ready for our home to look like Martin doesnt live here. People may think I’m nuts but i understand that comfort you feel xx
Don’t know about a being a ghost but I feel like I’m living someone else’s life! Or maybe I’m just in a nightmare that I will wake up from! J x
I lost my dear wife 14 months ago, and everything is still the same in our home, I know I need to sort her stuff out and try to move on with my life, I started doing it a few weeks ago, it felt like I was moving her for good from our home, so I stopped
I tried to sort through some items but just couldn’t do it yet so clothes gkasses bank cards etc still in bedroon and then tried to sort out items in garage with was full of tools but put them in one area but atopped that do. Msybe in time i might be sble yo but fir just now thry are sraying where they are i even spray his aftershave so i can still smell him around the house.
I do that with Norma’s perfume, I was her carer for a lot of years, and still put her clothes out ready for her
Yes i agree it does give you comfort xx and doesnt feel like everything they were has been dragged from you ! X
Nearly nine weeks. I still only sleep on my side of the bed. His wristwatch is on his bedside table next to his book and glasses. His page marker is still in the book where he left it. I couldn’t bear to move these traces of him.
I thought I was doing well. But today, after my daughter’s birthday lunch, when I got back to our home and I was alone with his memories, I just sobbed for hours.
I know how you feel. I have just lost my beautiful wife suddenly to cancer with no warning. I feel like l followed her up but she went through a door that was shut to me and I can’t go all the way back down, I’m just looking down feeling lost and bereft and crying. I don’t want to go back down without her. I don’t know what to do.
I don’t think I will ever move my husbands things these were and still are his, memories are in everything that’s around me take that away and it’s just an empty shell I will love him for the rest of my life
I know how you feel @Lin22.
I am 14 weeks into my journey and i have not managed to move most of his items.
I even spray his aftershave so i can smell him around. His ashes are now in the bedroom beside other items he loved.
The days ahead will be varied sad happy upset anger and lots of other feelings.
You will go through all emotions as you try to process your loss.
I thought i was doing better last week but yesterday i felt i was back to how i felt in earlier weeks.
I just take each day as it happens and dont plan too far ahead. I have joined a rock choir last week so hoping this keeps me busy and singing makes me feel good.
Take your time grief has no limits and look after yourself Lynne x
It’s funny how everyone reacts in a different way. Although I can’t bear to part with my husbands clothes, they are all still in the cupboards, I have put his personal belongings away! I just find them too painful to look at. J x
Everyone is different in dealing with this.
There is no easy answer just do whats best for you during this time. x
Yes, I keep saying they are just clothes so why does it feel as if I am throwing him away? I have kept some of his clothes, can wear some. Some garments he’s had for decades, I am finding them in old photos. I find things like his glasses, pill box, wallet very painful to look at, they are in a drawer with the condolence cards. We just do what feels right, to respect them and comfort ourselves.