Hi Lolla 49
I have just lost my mum on Dec 30th I am thinking of you. Sorry I can’t type anymore I am raw with all this grief. I will message you in a few days . Just wanted you to know I am here for you
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Hello seychells
I am sorry for your loss and I feel your pain sending much love xxx It is very raw in the first few months but I found posting on her helped me get through the lowest of times and some days I just can’t post and that’s ok just know we are here for each other as no one knows more about how you feel right now is other people stranger’s become friends. Listening and giving advise. Always here reach out you are not alone.
JohnM, I’m sorry for you loss. I’m glad you found this site, as it is very supportive.
There is no right or wrong, when it comes to clearing or not clearing stuff. It’s very much down to the individual.
I’ve read advice, which says it’s worth waiting a year before throwing stuff out, Just in case one removes something and later regrets it. Some people get rid of stuff quickly, as it just right for them.
Three years in, I have 95% of my Mums stuff still aroud me, as removing it feels harder than keeping it. I have popped a few of the more triggering items away into drawers.
A thread has been started, which might be of interest to you. my wifes belongings - #7 by Phil1
Take care.
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Oh hunny I am ever so sorry for the passing of your mother. I have also lost my mummy on the 10th of October 2022.
I don’t share with anyone, my pain, my sadness, my anger, my anxiety and more.
I feel like this portal is really useful for people who are suffering with grief. I believe it’s easier to speak to a stranger rather than someone close to you.
I relate to you so much and I know it hurts, losing a parent is hard to explain unless someone is experiencing the same.
I would love for us to have a chat and perhaps support each other in a way some people can’t support us?
Love
Susan x
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I have now been back to the doctor he has put me on antidepressants I just can’t stop shaking and the tingly lips I just want to be back in control and put on a smile and carry on I feel like such a failure. I feel like I’m letting everyone down and they are carrying me. I just want a hug so much. I miss you mom xxx
Hi Lolla
I am the same as you and was wondering whether i should go on some medication . Have you found them to be of any help. I am thinking of you so much
Deborah x
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Hi
I felt stupid going to the doctor and crying because simple things just seem to send me over the edge into a meltdown down. I’ve only been on them for 4 days and they say it can take up to 3 to 4 weeks before you see any change.
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Hi Lolla,
Give it a few weeks and see how you get on. Yesterday was awful for me . Today I had to see the solicitor re will then the bank to sort out mams money So emotional Feel exhausted tonight. I stayed at my mams house last night and I felt much better Felt her around me and i managed to sleep a little more than other nights. Its so painful I could scream. i mis her with all my heart and it’s never going to get better. Thinking of you x Deborah
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Hi thank you for replying and your kind words. It is hard to see a future without your mom beside you. They are irreplaceable. It is hard to think that love can weigh so heavy and this is why we have to think about how we carry our loved one forward with us. I still haven’t told my partner or my daughter that I’ve been put on antidepressants just feel so useless it’s as if I can only do one thing and that is going to work so I can pay the bills. Thank you sending much love for the day ahead xxx
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Thank you for sharing this with us, you are so brave and I hope this community helps you.
I lost my mum to terminaal cancer in May 2022, 5x days after I got married. I was on my honeymoon when I found out she had passed. She was only 58. And I have only JUST joined this community and started reading all of these losing a parent threads and your one resonated with me. and then I had to read all the replies 
To be honest I don’t think I have come to terms with it and been brushing feels under the carpet. I started a new job in September and have only just found the courage to actually tell my manager and a couple of close colleagues about it. I have been suffering in silence.
So thank you for sharing your message as it has helped me share mine. I am sorry you had to go back so soon, I would advise like others have said going to GP, getting support or being signed off even for a week if you need it. I have taken 3 days off this week because it was becoming overwhelming and I am the same so worried about small tasks (I am an office assistant) so yeah photocopiers, coffee machines and post come under my remit and sometimes its the simple things that can be the hardest.
I miss my weekly zoom calls with my mum, the good night texts and voicenotes. I just can’t believe I won’t get to speak to her ever again she was my biggeset confidant and advocate and I still feel so lost without her even 8 months later. It really is a process.
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I lost dad on 2nd dec 2022 and then mum.on 8th jan 2023. With dad i took about 6 days off over 3 weeks (and some of those days i logged in from home) with mum I’ve been off entirely except one day when i tried to go in and had a meltdown.
My world has shifted off its axis and i cant at the moment work out how normal looks anymore…
Dad was a fairly expected death, mum wasnt as we have literally minutes notice that she was going to die. My siblings and i are totally floored…
I feel like i want a neon sign above my head saying my parents have died.
Some of us are depressed and some are angry, my oldest brother is being a total #@% and isn’t coming to her funeral (he bailed on dads as well and my mum was devastated)
Sorry … I’m rambling.
Sending much love to everyone going through this, its impossibly hard xx
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I am so sorry for your loss and thank you for your kind words. Just know you are not on your own we are all here to help each other sending you much love xxx
I am sorry for your loss you are not on your own and thank you for your kind words sending much love xxx
I have been to the doctors, and they have put me on antidepressants but I can’t bring myself to tell anyone as I feel stupid that I can’t cope.
Today is the first-day I’ve told my partner im on antidepressants.
I told my family I was on antidepressants on Sunday and things got worse my daughter whom I am close to has stopped talking to me so before I had her on my right arm every step of the way she s disappeared from my sight and will not talk to me. I wish I could go back in time to a happer moment
Please dont feel like this Everyone needs a little help at times. You are doing what is best for you and thats excellent
Deborah x
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My family are very distant and keep treating me like Im about to do myself in they wont leave me in the house by by myself. Going to see my Councillor today so my anxiety is a little …friend. feeling a bit calmer with my emotions.
Hi Lolla49,
Don’t worry about your family. Just worry about yourself. If you feel you need to take tablets then carry on . It’s for your benefit not theirs.
Give yourself praise for anything you manage to get through.
Just take small steps in all this
Thinking of you
Deborah x
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so close together … this is the main source of your distress aside from the terrible loss. I am same but mine were three years apart.
you need time off, I would say and grief counseling helped me a lot. take care.
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