Dennis…
…it is now six months come 11th October for me also, i miss my Richard more than ever, so time is not a healer as they like to tell us, well not for me it isn’t…in all the 20 years we had been together we had not had one day apart, now it has been six months and is going to get longer, with never ever hearing his voice or seeing him moving in and around our-my home…this is just breaking my heart, i will never see him in his bed in the morning as i walk past his bedroom…so hard seeing an empty bed where he should be in it…
Hi Jackie, sorry for your loss x I know it’s terrible thought and I know they say it gets easier with time, but I’m actually finding it harder as the days grow further away from our last cuddle, laugh.
The emptiness is unbearable. Take care, I try and take comfort from remembering our times together , yes sometimes it makes me sad but mostly I feel nearer to Tom.
Denise…
…anything we now find comfort in is a blessing, and we must take it and use it…
I feel the longer these months, years go on, it brings it all into perspective that they are not going to suddenly walk through that door, or get up and make their breakfast…it is the reality that this we will never see ever again…all these things we so took for granted, each and every day…hard accepting this is all over…
My lovely, your old life is not coming back and your Denis isn’t coming back - I also wish all those things back. I wished I could feel joy, I wished I could feel Jack’s hand touching mine …
my children are also missing their dad but their pain is different - their life goes on and it hasn’t changed - they still go out, see friends go to work etc etc - while my life is changed for ever - I died when Jack died so now i am this different person trying to create a life that won’t be as happy .
I never asked why me, Jack never asked why him , if anything he said why not
I give you a very special hug and hope your Monday is ok
Hi Jackie, I was thinking about the length of time I haven’t seen Jack - it feels quite surreal. Where is Jack?
I miss him in my life - I just talk to him and talk to other people about him
Jack was kind, loving, he was a great dad , he was loyal , hard working and he loved me - so in all my sadness I know that our love for each other keep us still together
Have you though about doing a course on line? There must be things on line that will help you to connect with others
Hi everyone especially Sadie
Haven’t been on here for ages
Everything you say resonates with me
It’s over 14 months since my husband died suddenly and unexpectedly
He was 60
We have three daughters in their 20s
I have found this second year more dismal than the first which I would describe as being dramatic in terms of my grieving
It is knowing my husband is gone for good that makes me feel very anxious
My stomach is in a knot as a type this
I just cannot settle down without him here
I don’t know when this feeling will end
I have started Spanish evening classes with one of my daughters which is fun for an hour or two but it’s so tiring being responsible for everything that needs doing at home and with my family . We are all grieving and struggling but the anxiety is making me feel so much worse
Seeing bereavement counsellor today
Don’t know if that will help
Nothing really helps for long does it ?
Sending love
xxxxx
Hi Romy - I missed you
My sleep was still disturbed and my anxiety of been alone etc so a friend suggested her homeopath and I went there last week - I already feel a difference in my sleep and I feel a bit more settled
Next week will be a year since Jack died -
Good luck with the counsellor
Lots of love
Sadie xx
Hi Dennis I feel exactly the same as you , it’s 4 months since my husband died and some days I feel I’m getting worse instead of better. It’s the loneliness. I have 4 grown up daughters and 5 grandchildren who are so good to me but I still feel so lonely.i spend time with them, then when they go home , it’s back to being on my own. I’m trying to do some work on the house but really don’t have any interest. Take care love Jan xx
DEAR SADIE YOUR POST MIRRORED MINE ITS JUST 6 MONTHS SINCE I LOST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND IM NOT COPING WITH THE DESPAIR THE PAIN I FEEL TOTALLY LOST WITHOUT HIS PRESENCE AND KEEP WONDERING WHAT IS AHEAD SO IM WITH YOU ALL THE WAY I KEEP HOPING IT WILL GET EASIER IM HAVING COUNSELLING NOT REALLY HELPING BUT IS A DIVERSION FOR ME FOR THE HOUR MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND GIVE YOU HOPE AND STRENGTH
Dear Jen, yes the loneliness is always there and I feel that in the end we just get used to the loneliness. It is sad but we in the end will get used to this half life
Sadie xx
Dear Kathleen what a lovely message
I also wish you hope and strength and that any one that comes in contact with you will bring you peace and support
Safie x
Well, it will be 2 years on 28th October that I lost Clive. I still don’t sleep more than a couple of hours a night, am still on the Happy Pills and still cry every morning when I wake up without him. I’m exhausted and just want it all to end.
The actual, physical pain in my chest isn’t as bad but the grief is as strong as ever.
My Counselor says that I should be kinder
to myself, but what does that even mean? I honestly don’t know. All I know is that he’s gone and he isn’t coming back so, really, what’s the point of me without him?
Sorry, I know I sound so weak, but I don’t know how to be strong anymore.
Snap.What can I say,nothing really,but thinking of you and sending love,to you and to everyone feeling the same.Rant away,we are all here for you.love and hugs all Corinna xx
Hi Kathleen, it’s just so hard isn’t . I was married to Jim for 50 years and we had made so many plans for the future . Sometimes I think I’ve had a nightmare then realise that’s it’s not. It’s the loneliness that’s so hard to take, and I miss just sitting talking. Take care ,love Jan xx
Sky wise I ask the same question ! What is the point! But a friend said to me that I must find value in my life . And this is a difficult one because I have lost half of me
For what I understand it is a process where the void and the pain don’t go away , we just learn to survive with it
After saying all this I think that life is precious and we fought so hard to keep Jack here - also I read that in grief we find our growth and compassion!! Who knows?
All I know is that it is hard and exhausting!!
Safie xx
I hope that’s true. I do try very hard to find some meaning. I go on holiday with friends, go to concerts, go diving, anything I can think of to combat the hopelessness but, at the end of the day I go home alone,go to bed alone and wake up alone. I’m just so tired of it all.
I know I’m whinging and whining. I don’t usually allow myself to let all this out - it’s just that October is so very hard, I’m reliving all the appointments and nightmare conversations with doctors who basically just told Clive to go home and die quietly and stop bothering them. I’ll pick myself up again in a couple of weeks, pin the mask back on and start telling everyone that I’m fine again.
Skywise, next Monday 14 October it will be 1 year since Jack left us.
Like you I do lots of things but I feel lost - exercise helps, I teach yoga, it also help. I am doing cross stitch that for me is therapy but … like you the lack of purpose is there
You are not whinging you are just saying what is in your heart .
Your words are the words I would use. Especially pinning on the mask. I am doing that now as one of my sons is coming soon. Must mop up the face first, then apply the mask.
Here’s hoping all of us can have a better day at some point.
I do that every day too,just think of one blessing,mostly it’s to do with my animals,on a bad day it is that I am another day closer to lying next to Roy,I have already bought the plot next to him.Sorry guys don’t mean to bring you all down just feeling desperate tonight,like I have a brick in my heart and concrete in my belly.Phoned the Samaritans earlier but lost my bottle and put the phone down before it was answered,so i’ll just moan to you lot instead.Going to bed now sleeping is the only thing that takes the pain away.See what tomorrow brings,love to you all xx