I can’t believe mum has gone

I lost my mum suddenly on 21st January

I’m really struggling to come to terms with it. I’m really finding it hard to believe she’s gone

She was at hospital for a day before eventually succumbing to a heart attack and I saw her having a seizure. We had just been having a conversation and then all of a sudden she starting fitting. I was convinced she was gone but the next day they managed to wake her from the induced coma. I even got to have a brief chat with her which was nice but then I had to leave as it wasn’t visiting time

About an hour or so after that she had a heart attack and died

As well as feeling devastated and sad, I feel so traumatized by the whole thing. Seeing that happen to her was awful and I can’t get it off my mind. I can’t stop seeing it.

I don’t know what to do as I’ve cried so much, I’m exhausted and I feel sick just thinking of the funeral

I just can’t face it

I do have support but my husband hates seeing me upset and I just can’t put into words how I’m feeling

This is just so awful. It hurts so much. I just can’t/ don’t want to believe she’s really gone. We did so much together and now she’s just gone

It hurts so much that I can’t even message her and I’m never seeing her or speaking to her again

I just can’t take this in

And I’m worried about her. Is she ok? Does she know I love her? We had ups and downs and now I feel so guilty about any arguments we had.


Early days for me loosing my Daddy, but I felt I had to reply even though I really have no words. It’ll always hurt, but just get easier to deal with & comprehend. Focus on the good times, not the bad. She knew/knows how much you love/d her, no matter what.

Thanks. I just wish I could speak to her.

Still in disbelief :disappointed:

I know that feeling! Just one more time … Visiting Dad today in the Chapel. Dreading it tbh …

Aw are you. Hope you’ll be ok. I said goodbye to my mum in hospital as I don’t think I could handle seeing her in a chapel of rest. She didn’t look herself in the hospital

I hope you have someone with you

Are you really sure you want to see him? It’s a picture that never leaves your mind and I’m sure they’ll have made him look as good as possible but think of what you want your last image of him to be.

I’ll be thinking of you. Hope visiting him gives you comfort xxxx

My Son will be with me, but I really don’t know how I’ll cope or take it. I guess we’ll see. No, Dad didn’t at the Home the day he died. Maybe he’ll look more at peace now. I hope so too, we’ll see xx

Hi, suddenly lost my Mum on 20th December 2023. She suffered a minor stroke in September but was recovering well. Then just died in her sleep. It’s not been long for me although longer than you. At first I was numb then that changed to sadness. Then the build up to her funeral was somehow easier as there was so much to do and decide on (there was a delay because of the coroner and Christmas) I had been dreading it. Although I was upset, there were some parts of the funeral where I was able to smile, recalling happy times. I have gone from crying many times a day to once or sometimes not at all. It’s an ever evolving thing and just when you think you feel a kind of normal, it surprises you out of nowhere. What I’m trying to say is although it’s a rocky road and things have altered, there’s a way forward. Take comfort in that you saw your Mum before she died. I saw mine 2 days before and it’s a nice memory. Hope what I’ve said helps in some way x

Yes it does help thanks.

Yes numb is definitely what I’m feeling. Numb, traumatized, tired, sad.

I know it will get to the point where it won’t hurt as much but it’s hard to believe atm :disappointed: I miss her so much xx

I am having a week of difficult days as I miss my Mum so much. When you feel this way it’s hard to see how things can be any kind of ok again but they will. The best thing you can do is talk through the trauma you feel. It might be that you will find it easier to talk to someone outside your family. I kept seeing the picture in my head when I saw her after she passed away. I have looked at happy photos of her and tried to replace that image which has helped. It may be too soon for you to do that but maybe in time you’ll feel able to. Be kind to yourself


This is so hard isn’t it :disappointed: hard to talk to family as they’re too close but hard to burden anyone else too

I keep apologising for being upset and my partner says I mustn’t do that. It’s natural to be upset and it’s the only way you will get to point where you can live with what’s happened. The people who care about you just want you to help you. Whoever you do talk to, will be glad that you felt you could tell them how you’re feeling and didn’t bottle it up. You will feel better than you do now. I was where you are only a few weeks ago and found it hard to see how I would feel differently. Take care

arguments are part of life, even among the closest of families. it would have been a lifeless strange relationship if you never argued so don’t worry about that part. arguing is very normal. it is just two opposing opinions, that is all.

True. Thank you xx

Hi guys, I lost my dad unexpectedly yesterday. He lived in Cyprus and was last here at Christmas. I thought he would live forever as he was a fit and healthy 86 year old. I feel I like took him for-granted as i’m always so preoccupied with my children. All because some idiot Greek driver didn’t slow down for him to cross the road. He tried to run backwards to safety, fell and horrifically broke his hip and leg. He couldn’t cope with the 5 hour operation and he died. Then I blame the surgeons for operating on him that long. It’s agony like I’ve never known.

It’s like I’ve only just realised how special he was and the depth of my love for him. I have a bad relationship with my mum and I’ve wasted my time on that rather than cherishing my angel daddy.


Aw I’m so sorry, that’s awful. It doesn’t matter how old they are, it’s always such a shock to lose them. My mum had lots wrong with her but was only 68 and my dad was only 62

I always would hear people say tell your loved ones what they mean to you as tomorrow isn’t promised but it didn’t register until now.


Your Mum loved you no matter what
Your Mum will be okay and well looked after, it’s hard not to keep reliving what has happened
My Mum passed away in September I remember every tiny detail,
My Mums funeral in Church I was calm just remember all the Great times we shared together on my own and with our family
It’s on my own my mind run riot but the is Grief the is a post on here that has been put on (Which I was so Grateful for) which was really helpful to me about emotions we are all feeling take a look it will help
Sending hugs

No it’s true that we don’t appreciate what we’ve got until it’s gone


I’m h I know what you mean. I can keep things together with others but when I’m alone I fall apart


Hi Zoe
Sorry for your loss x
You didn’t take you father for granted children can take up alot of your time
We are all having regrets should’ve could’ve ,would’ve this is part of the grieving process as is a lot more emotions
There is a lot of Great advice on here
Sending hugs x

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