I can’t breath

I feel as if I can’t breath today, there’s a heavy weight sat on my chest just as it was when Stephen died 23/02/2022. I received the emails from the Coronor’s office. These included the transcript of the drivers and other witnesses interviews. The Driver lied, other witnesses contradicted him as did the paramedic who was the first “official” person on the scene. Yet even with these contradictions, the blatant lies and evidence etc the Crown Prosecution Service have said they can’t prosecute the case.
The driver has got away with taking my son’s life and isn’t even getting a blooming speeding ticket (it was proven he was speeding).
It’s just all to much :broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart:


Eve7. I feel the pain from you about inquest papers. I received mine about 2 weeks ago for my son who passed away to drugs overdose. I was so distressed by reading the post mortem, toxicology, history’s police reports etc i literally broke down. I have re grouped again and the inquest is in 2 weeks, where the coroner will decide whether it’s drugs overdose or intentional suicide with drugs. Makes me so anxious. Take care xx

I am so sorry for your loss. Have you had to wait a long time for the inquest? I hope you get the answers that will bring you the most peace.
Our inquest is 2nd October, my son died 18 months ago. And we haven’t had any closure or respite due to the police investigation. I have been waiting for this or that to be done so we could move to the next stage. To go through all of that and even though the driver was speeding and didn’t have his main beam lights on (said he didn’t see my son, then changed it to he saw him but couldn’t manoeuvre in time) and he is free to carry on with his life, he gets to do all the things he has taken from my son. I just can’t believe it.

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Waited 6 months which is not long compared to what you are going through. Seems totally wrong not to be dealing with the driver for what he/she has done. No justice in the system and I’m so sorry for you having to go through this. I have spoken to the police numerous times and have told them they need to gain access to my sons mobile, can’t get in as I don’t have the 6 digits, as I know 100% there will be info on there which they should see, but they say no they don’t need it. Why don’t they listen to us, we are going through enough. Take care, little steps xx

@MJG i also lost my son to a drugs overdose 5 month ago. The inquest was 3 wks ago. The coroner put it down to drug death (drug toxicity). The amount of pregabalin and tramadol in his blood was massive. I feel your pain and understand your anxiety. I was exactly the same. It has given me a sense of closure though the pain is still as raw. He is my first thought in the morning and my last thought before i sleep. At random times i find myself in tears. Nothing anyine says can make us feel better. I have started doing things again. Im decorating at the moment which gives me a purpose. I returned to work 2 months after he passed. For me it was the right thing to do. I have 2 other sons and 2 daughters and we all support each other. We just take it one day at a time. Sending hugs to you and to all who have lost a loved one.:heart:

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Hi both, sorry to jump in on your conversation! I lost my husband 7yrs ago to suicide so know a fair bit about inquests etc. Ours took 2 yrs! If i can help answer any questions please fire away xxx
I also lost my daughter 5 weeks ago to suicide. Her mh dived so badly after her dad took his life she fought and fought tho. Youre both absolute warriors and im so sorry you’re having to be here. I hope you dont mind me butting in, i saw loss of child and thought id give it a try. Its so raw and still such early days, im struggling with the official stuff. Ive still no interim death cert, would you know of thats normal? I got one immediately when husband died. I had to travel 5 hours to identify her but ive not seen the suicide note. I was told by coroner i can have email copy as original stays in evidence until inquest. Now theyre saying i need to identify a sample of handwriting first and if i want the letter i have to go get it. Obviously i want it! I am desperate to know what she wanted to say, her final words to me. Im having to phone everyday and still nothing 5 weeks on. Im sure that isnt right for the grieving family. She left a daughter, my beautiful granddaughter who is my lifeline. Thank you & sorry! Sending you both my love :heartbeat:

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@Andi894 i am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. The final certificate will not be given till 5 working days after the coroners inquest. You will need to ring the registrar yourself to arrange it. They will give you the details after the inquest. X

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Thanks jo, i need an interim one tho. I cant access her banking etc to stop it all. She was on benefits you see so they need to see her final balance and reclaim the whole £61!! I cant recieve a funeral payment until they can knock the £61 off. Thankfully I managed the funeral with credit cards and gofundme but it all just seemed very hard and distressful. With my husband i had an interim cert for 2 yrs due to inquest taking that long. There were 7 misconducts in mh team to investigate. I still got interim immediately tho. The coroner had said hed email it with a copy of suicide note. 5 weeks still waiting. Calling daily is becoming too much. With her going to a different city wont help. Communication isnt great, i know my emotions are heightened massively because i feel like i need to shout from rooftops its my BABY whos died, not next door ones hamspter to try and make them realise how much extra pressure this is causing. That is not my usual personality at all! Xx

MJG have you cancelled your sons mobile contract? If so you are free to get it unlocked and it wont affect any apps etc. I’ve had to unlock my daughters for same reason. Or we did try face recognition but that depends on recent pic and clear. I took my daughters to a stall on our local market £15 took 5 mins xx

It beggars belief that the police are not interested in getting additional information, if it was a contract phone you should be able to get a call list and or text transcript.
We haven’t got into my sons phone which did upset me he wore a Fitbit (I now wear it) and it was linked to his phone so it would have given us quite a bit of information.

Yes I cancelled the contract with EE. It has a six digit number to put in but have no idea what it is. I have tried every combination of numbers I can think of. I rang Apple but they were not much help. Maybe I should ring Ee again and see if they can help me. I’m not sure that as I’ve cancelled the phone that the sim is still active but I’m sure the messages I want, which I want to give to the police are backed up on ICloud. I have managed to access his ICloud account and it’s only me and the police which have access to this account. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Typical police. I have got access to his iCloud account and have given some bits of info of that to the police, but looking at it again recently I have managed to fit few more bits together, not a 100% sure I am right but thinking of informing them about what I have pieced together xx

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I’m so sorry for your loss no words can describe the pain. My son had lethal amounts of morphine and oxycodone in his system which affected his central nervous system. The also found cocaine at his flat. When I read the post mortem report which I have googled to understand it, his heart was enlarged, one lung gone really small and enlarged liver….all due to drug use over the years. Heartbreaking but then I can think sometimes he’s not fighting his demons anymore. Some people in what I call the outside world are so quick to judge addiction and suicide that they do not have a clue or want to listen, they forget they maybe addicted to tea, coffee etc but that’s acceptable…it isn’t to me. Glad you managed to return to work. Take care xx

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I am so sorry for your loss of your lovely daughter. My ex husband committed suicide 3 years ago. With my son he overdosed on drugs…he had an addiction but doesn’t take away the pain or stupid comments from people who don’t have a clue. I had my sons interim death certificate just after the post mortem was done. The coroner has said I will get the death certificate after the inquest which is a week on Thursday. I’m dreading going. I hope you get the answers you are looking for. Enjoy your beautiful granddaughter xx

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Its the last thing you need to be worrying about right now too!! My daughter left her phone on charge and unlocked on my details so nobody had to search for her. She never let her phone be left unlocked! It didn’t help because by time i got phone off police the charge died so it automatically relocked. I did the same with combinations of birthdays etc and got nowhere. She was with 02. I called their bereavement team and the contract ended. They assured me that everything on sim & phone would still be there. I just would’nt be able to make calls, text etc. I then took it to mobile man who unlocked it. Im wondering if its the imei number :thinking:. Its on the box but i doubt thats handy for you. I am sure that they will give you it if you call. I also think that under the circumstances, they could give u a code that unlocks. If you arent tied into a contract then the phone is yours to do with as you wish. Give the company a ring and if no luck google a local mobile fixing shop and theyll let you know if they can unlock it, you may just need to prove you are his mum but i didn’t even need to do that. From one lost mum to another, please make sure youre ready to read and see things that may not be easy. My world fell apart again upon finding out how badly a bf was abusing her. Giving her syringes full of alloy cleaner to drink. Ive passed everything to police but as you can imagine its having a massive effect on me and i dont feel able to talk to people here about it. Please let me know how you get on. Photos, memories etc so very important :heart: :blue_heart:

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My daughter used ketamine. Her friends would take cocaine etc to get high and she would use horse tranquiliser to try bring her down to their level!! Her bipolar mixed with adult adhd meant she medicated herself to get down to the level of someone on cocaine!!! She hated the feeling the manic cycling, she didnt enjoy the highs as some do. She couldnt make it productive energy. She described it as xmas eve when a child yet the day never comes. The knots in stomach, nausea etc. Poor poor babies, :cry:

The undertaker collected our interim but it didnt say cause of death, coroners office never told us it had been done, but that was about 2 weeks after he died, the undertaker collected ours when he collected our son. The police have my sons phone so we still have no idea if there was any note on there.

When my son left the house he left his computer on and his screen unlocked and a program running so it wouldn’t shut down, together with a typed document of all his bank details

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@MJG i see. I got the interim cert within a few weeks through the post. The last thing you need is having to ring them all the time. Bless you. Sending much love xx


Im sorry you’re having to go through this. If the police have had the phone they would’ve notified you of any letter that may have been left. They sent me her belongings left at the airbnb inc. Phone by post. She left hand written letters. These are what i am phoning for everyday and getting promised theyll email copies only to get nothing. Its a lot of extra stress i really dont need right now. Im sure you feel the same x

I was never even told my son had left any letters until I read it in the corners report and then I had to phone the police about it so I could get the letters, the police don’t care about what we are going through I really have changed my opinion of them

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