Hello. Mam and me are very close. 60 years together and mam had Alzheimer’s for the last three. She was a wonderful mam. Her smile lit up any room. I miss her very much. You are close with the North East, but I am from Yorkshire. I always called her mainly mam or sometimes ma.
Sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. It is heartbreaking and then the grief and loneliness. All my best wishes. Stephen
Hi Stephen
I originally come from Scotland but I have lived in leeds West yorkshire since I was 15yrs old and met my beautiful husband paul when I was 17 two months off my 18th birthday married at 19 widowed at 63 I hate that word widowed it sounds awful I had a very happy marriage and miss him everyday your mam sounds like a wonderful mam and you are the most caring son a mam could have had never think you are not.because I can see you are all that you did for your.mam and she loved you for it never forget that yes you miss her you are bound to if you ever want to tell me more about your beautiful mam please feel free I will always listen I am good at listening but I am to chatty and people don’t like that
Take care stephen
Sweetlady
Thank you sweetlady. Your married life with your husband sounds like a really loving friendship and relationship. You miss him very much as I do mam.
Thank you again for your kind words and support. I really do appreciate it. It is tough for us. People say you have to carry on and I suppose we do, but when you have lived and loved someone for such a long time, it isn’t easy. Keep in touch. God bless and sending you my warmest wishes. Stephen.
Hi Stephen
How’s your day gone hopefully better than mine went out to.pick.a.parcel.up.then went to Iceland foods at kirkstall shopping centre and what happened 
this woman fell asleep in her car and woke up.at.6pm and thought omg why can I not sleep like that in bed on a nighttime I felt so.embarased I bet people where looking at me although I don’t know that do I I ended up going home without my shopping as I felt to tired but its 10pm and now I am not tired that’s what I get for falling asleep in the car what a idiot I am
Sarah
Good morning Sarah. You obviously must have been very tired. It wouldn’t have hurt anything except getting to sleep later maybe. Feeling sad, upset and grieving is mentally and physically exhausting. Hope you have a good day today. All my best wishes. Stephen
Good morning Stephen
Yes i must have done but I got the best night’s sleep I have had in a long while and I gave woke up feeling relaxed I am out with my nephew tomorrow so just taking things easy today we go to a place called cardigan fields the pub is called Bridgewater arms for a meal the do meals for me ceoliac and then we go to kirkstall bridge shopping centre for a costa coffee then he drops me home then its the quietness again wish I could go out every week for a meal but will not go in pubs on my own hope you have a lovely day love and best wishes
Sarah
It’s nice you go out with your nephew Sarah, that’s something to look forward to. I hope you have a relaxing day today 
LJ
Hello Sarah. Hope you enjoyed your meal and outing. It is nice of your nephew to take you out.
I do agree when you get back. You go from feeling slightly okay to feeling terribly upset again. I know that happens with me too.
God bless and all my best wishes. Stephen
Hi Stephen
I have been relaxing today although my mind is working away thinking I just wish it would stop.and give me a rest because it.just.upsets.me ,I am off out tomorrow and I know I will be chatty with dale then he drops me off as he picks me up I can.drive and do own my own car but he likes to pick me up then its the emptiness again, i have been talking to.paul today and told him I do not want to keep feeling like this and he has to make me feel.better and personal things that I.cannot.say on here I miss him.so.much
Sarah
Hello Stephen, As you know, Mum and I lived together so I am ina very similar situation. You have planned a small trip. Something within you has prompted that. Your Mum liked going with you on holiday. The closeness and love between you was such that your Mum would be happy for you to go. Your Mum will be with you Stephen by your side walking with you each step of the way. No need to feel guilty Stephen. She will still be with you and will be happy for you. Take care
Hi Sarah. You will be missing him massively. I talk to mam all the time as I did when she was alive. It helps but does not stop me from constantly being upset. I miss her so much.
God bless and all my best wishes: Stephen
Good morning Sparrow2.
I cannot thank you enough for your wonderful words. They have really cheered me up. We are both very similar with our lives and mums. We were both devoted and loved them more than anything in the world. It is a lovely thought to think that they are by our sides wherever we go and I firmly believe that too.
How are you coping with your grief? I know you said it was six months since your mum passed away, but like me, that pales into insignificance when compared to all the years that were spent with our beloved mums.
God bless and thank you again for keeping in touch. It is always so thoughtful of you and I really do appreciate it. Stephen.
I could not agree more Stephen. Our Mums meant the whole world to us and we did to them. Our Mums are always with us. I do believe that. You are so right … we spent all our lives with our Mums. It still feels like I have only just lost Mum. I have been having a wobbly few days and crying. My sister’s husband is pallitative. It has reinforced the loss of Mum and all the happy times we had together when we visited them. I still see Mum holding up her New Years day glass and doing cheers! She had sparkling elderflower in it as she did not like champagne! The thought of never feeling that happy again fills me with extreme sadness … the tears flow as I write. I know Mum would not want me sad, so I will go for a short walk before I start my work. I have wfh today which helps. Thank you for asking Stephen. I always read your posts as our circumstances are so similar. God bless. I hope that you do something nice today that brings some joy … your Mum is with you.
Hello Sparrow 2. It is good to hear of your happy memories with your mum. We are both the same. Our mums wouldn’t want us to be sad. You are right. Because we loved them so much and they meant the world to us and were our world, it means that the bonds we had with them are unbreakable. Like you, when I write about mam I feel sad and start crying. I can’t help it and seeing her lovely face on photos makes me think of all the glorious and happy times together.
Hope your walk refreshed you a little. Have a good a day as you can and thank you for keeping in touch. I know I say it often, but I really and truly appreciate it. Best wishes. Stephen.
Hi I’ve now lost both my parents my dad just over 2 and half years ago mum 9 months ago. I’ve been struggling ever since I used to go stay with them most weekends and help mum with dad and take her shopping etc. Then a Yr after dad passed I left my job moved and where I was staying and moved in with my mum and went away for 3 months came back and 3 months being back my mum passed away so now have nowhere to.live, no job, their house is being sold next month which is going to be hard and I miss them both so much feel lost and lone without them as have no partner or children its hard. I have gone to a bereavement support group at a local library. Sounds like it was hard for you. Take care of you.
JanelJ
I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your beloved parents. You have had a very tough time and it must be so difficult for you.
I haven’t a partner or children, but I am lucky in a way that nearly 30 years ago when me, mam and dad moved into this current house, I was teaching and I paid the mortgage.
My brother who visits for one hour a couple of times a week said to me that being able to go into mam’s bedroom every morning and open her window blinds was a comfort that not everyone is lucky enough to have.
We then spoke about mam’s mum, our grandma. Her and grandad could not afford to buy a house and rented one. They lived in it above 60 years. When mam’s mum passed away, the landlord gave mam and my uncle two weeks to clear her house. Me and my brother were saying how upset, grieving and sad mam was having her mam passing away and then clearing out all the household memories in 2 weeks. Mam couldn’t go back in her childhood home to stand in a room and relive memories.
I can feel the raw emotion in your words and I feel so sorry for you and your situation. Please keep in touch if you feel like it. God bless and I send you my love and best wishes. Stephen
Hi thanks for the reply and understanding means alot to me. Its so hard just now. Take care
Hi Stephen,
It sounds like you’ve made such a positive step ringing Marie Curie. Like you I have treasured my parents. We lost our beautiful dad in February and our hearts were broken. I have no children so have always felt particularly close to them. My mom is disabled and dad was her main carer so I drive down regularly to stay with mom. Your reply to Tom made me even more determined to appreciate every moment I have with her. Be kind to yourself Stephen and as caring as you would be to a good friend. I have found it very difficult to motivate myself some days but I do try and get out even if it’s just for a short walk or a drive. Thoughts to you and you are not alone here.
Good morning and thank you very much for getting in touch. I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your beloved dad. It is so heartbreaking and you feel so helpless.
It is 7 weeks tomorrow since my beautiful mam passed away, but to me it seems a lifetime since I last held her hand, brushed her hair, hugged her and lots of other things.
It is good to hear that you are with your mam every day. You are supporting your mum and she is supporting you too. I chose to stay with mam and dad all my life. I enjoyed all our lives together. Even though I was with mam 60 years and constantly with her I sometimes think I could have been there more. But that is a ridiculous thought. We were together 24 hours a day. All day long and in our bedrooms separated by a wall, all night. Plus I was up at least 3 times a night helping my beloved mam to the loo and back.
God bless and thinking of you. Sending you all my best wishes .Stephen
Thank you Stephen for you kindness. 