Hi Kendal, I really hope you continue to find comfort in those signs, our loved ones are always with us one way or another, this site also offers a lot of support, lots of love x
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I lost my partner 3 weeks ago and i feel like theres nothing left worth living for. We were together nearly 16 years and even though when we met i new he had some ill health as he was blind through diabetes but this didnt bother me. As the years went on he had kindney failure and was on dialysis for 7 years before having a kidney transplant in 2018. This was supposed to make his life better but unfortunately it didnt as he then found that as i was working 12 hour shifts and he didnt go to dialysis anymore that he no longer had the social life he had beforehand , and then covid hit and again as i was working in health and social care i still had to go to work throughout all the lockdowns. And then come home and wear ppe so i could protect him. In 2020 thing started to go downhill and for the past 3 years he spent more time in hospital than at home with various different infections and ailments and each time he went back into hospital it would be a little worse. And throughout all of this, many a time he would ask why i was still with him and that i could be with someone else who hadnt got all these problems, but theres that 4 letter word that i reminded him everytime he said it " LOVE " is whats keeping me here and im not going to let you down and im staying put. I had a purpose in life to love him and look after him. now that purpose has gone and i just feel lost. I havnt got a reason to get out of bed anymore and its hard to do anything in the house as i find myself crying over silly little things. I know in time it will probably get easier but at the moment i dont want to think of the future
It’s very early days for you, I’m 5 weeks into the grieving process and it’s almost impossible to function most of the time. I felt sick and full of panic initially, I can sometimes get out of bed now without paracetamol to help stop the sick and headaches. Be gentle with yourself, it becomes very slightly more manageable, take your time x
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Hi Kendal, thank you for the message. I do ok during the day but evenings and weekends are the worst. I still miss her so much but I will be starting back at work on Friday. I need some normality. Thanks
I totally understand and sometimes just out walking in the parks can help calm and soothe you. Each day will be a new beginning and you’ll feel a bit stronger then it will jump on you when you least expect it again but believe that your wife is trying to help you and her love will always be with you.
I wear my husbands wedding ring now and it helps me feel a bit closer x
It’s really helpful to share feelings and sending love and support to each other is extremely humbling xxx love to you Kathy
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Thank you Kittycat, Pudding, Kathy6, Avis1 and all for responding. I know it’s silly but How l wish l had friends and a family like the characters playing Rizzoli & Iles, having each other’s backs, being there for each other, people you can count on. Anything to ease the pain and sadness. Wish you all a restful evening and night - that is, as best as possible🪻:pray:
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I feel i cant go on and am crying all the time. Feel so empty inside and want to run away. Cant stay in the house but nowhere to go. Was married for 54 years and did everything together. No future for me now. Can cope better when im with my family, but not on my own. Its 7 weeks since i lost Tony and things seem worse now. A
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Hi @Debbiea take baby steps each day. I’m on week 17 and each day is difficult but I have to carry on so I can see my grandchildren grow up, the one thing my hubby will never experience. I live on myown and my children live all over the country and the times I do see them are special. You can do this it just takes us longer to adjust to a new life that we didnt ask for. I learnt to use a drill today and change the bit so I could put a curtain pole up, its a learning curve and one I never expected to be on,. Take care and keep chatting on here we are all here to help each other. X
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Hi punto
Im planning to disconnect and reconnect the washing machine when i move in the next couple of weeks. My husband used to say it was a piece of ‘pi.s’ to do, so I’ve watched youtube videos and hopefully got the knowhow to do it. We’ll see! I so wish he was here to advise me. I lost him 7th August and things are so difficult. I’ve never felt pain like this. We always thought I would be the first one to go - the only positive thing i can think to say is that i am relieved that he doesn’t have to go through life on earth feeling the overwhelming grief that i am at present. Miss my soulmate and best friend. X
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I used you tube and found it took me a few attempts but did it. Good luck with washing machine and your move.
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