I feel like that sometimes but i can hear sue saying you made me a promise to carry on being the person i made you into and dont do anything silly as i wouldn’t be happy with you .were all here for you
I’m 53 & feel exactly the same as you . It’s just pure torture every second of every day .
It will get easier.
I am coming up to a year since losing my wife - I was only 52. I’m on holiday in Dorset this week and I see many couples together here which is extremely difficult to deal with. It triggers awful feelings within me but I am learning to deal with them and I’m sure you all will too.
Like you all, I loved my spouse to bits; she was the most amazing person to me but she would want me to go forward and enjoy life again. It’s hard but I am doing well I think. If I can do it, you all can too!
I wanted to post a hopeful message - you will in time be able to get through this xxx
I cry when I see couples together about my and marts age 58 and 57 I want to scream do you know how lucky you are xx this is so hard xxx
@Gymguy thank you for your positive post. I’m 7 weeks into this journey and I’m really struggling. I get up everyday and go through the motions. Seeing friends & family, shopping, work but it’s all a charade. Inside I’m as miserable as hell. Right now I can’t imagine any meaningful or happy life. Your post makes me think maybe just maybe sometime in the future will be different. I miss my husband so much
Yes, I have that feeling too. Life is unpredictable and unfair, but we cannot do anything about that unfortunately. I totally agree and think they are lucky too (they have no idea how lucky they are, do they)!
I was just the same, the first six months were hell, it has been getting easier and better though. It is still difficult at times and there are lots of challenges, but life is a lot better now. Hang on in there!
I’m five months in losing my husband suddenly. He was 53 and I am 56. I feel that the realisation of losing my husband and never going to see him again is kicking in. At first I was in shock and felt numb. Even convinced myself that I was in coma. Every day I cry and call out for him to come back. I miss him so much and feel so lonely without him.
I recently met 3 people of have lost their husbands. L lost her husband 10 years ago to cancer when he was 37 and herself 33. She said she still has moments but the grief doesn’t take over her life now and she is happy with her own company and could love again. K also lost her husband suddenly 10 years ago when he was 59 and she was 59. She tells me that she still misses her husband and have moments of loneliness. 5 years after her husband death she met someone else but he died after dating him for 2 years. She now keeps herself busy volunteering and joining a singing club and looking after her grandson. My other friend C lost her husband 2 years ago. She nurse him for 10 months and told me that she did a lot of her grieving then. She is slowly rebuilding her life. She join a friendship group and go on holiday with her family. She has been a great help. I guess it also depends on how much you love your spouse as the deeper the love the deeper the grief. I like us all hate this new life and can’t move forward at all. Maybe one day I will have acceptance but can’t see it happening for a very long time. Lots of hugs xx
Thanks gymguy for your positivity sometimes that is what we need to help us along this sad lonely road you give me a bit of hope today thanks .
We all loved out spouses very deeply, my wife was the most amazing person I have ever known. It’s not really about “how deep”, mine was the deepest possible I can assure you. It’s about somehow managing to move forward positively and live again after the most traumatic experiences of our lives. It’s really hard but it is possible…
You are so welcome, anytime. Tag me, I will get an alert and can respond!
@Gymguy absolutely agree with you…I read that somewhere but can’t remember where.
It’s nice to see a positive post. I’m 3 months in having lost my partner suddenly and totally unexpectedly, he was 49 and I’m 57, far too young to say my life’s over.
He was a glass full kind of guy and he wouldn’t want me to be unhappy, he helped me become a stronger, better person. He can’t live his life and he would be pissed off if I choose to give up on mine.
I too love him deeply, I never imagined I would be in this place but life has thrown me a massive curveball and I have to navigate this new life. It’s a challenge but one I’m prepared to take on!
Those are great sentiments that I agree with. We have to take it on as what’s the alternative? We may all have many years left and have to somehow make things work! Like you say, they would want us to be happy and lead fulfilling lives again!
I lost my husband very suddenly he was 47 years old its been 4 months now and i feel it is getting worse i feel like i dont want to carry on i have to for my kids but it is so hard my heart is broken .tracey
@Dublingirl I know from your earlier posts that your situation is a little different from most on here. I just wanted to send you my love and understanding of your circumstances. I know it must be so difficult for you, but I am praying for you and you are loved. xx
@medenview Thank you so much. I AM struggling as I’m not able to grieve openly. I do have one friend I can talk to, but don’t want to burden her all the time, so this group is my outlet! I’ve had one session of counselling where all I did was cry. Maybe I’ll book another one and see if I can actually talk! Hoping the good days become more frequent and thank you again xx
I am still buying daily but feel like anger has taken over again
The councillor who I got through my friend as let me down so waiting on one through work. Without you lot & this group I dint know where I’d be right now
OK everyone, I lost my mother on the 5th of January as she died in my arms gasping for breath and it left me with a form of battle field trauma and under a mental health nurse more used to dealing with soldiers(I did feel as if I had thought to the end in the battle of Tuebrook, that was just before Alamane) those poor bastards got no leave, they fought to the death or were taken prisoner and yes I have considered ending it, but that would be a cop out and life goes on (as it must) try this number 08088081677 is the CRUSE BEREAVEMENT CARE line, they wont judge you, they will listen and give you practical advise and emotional support, the early days are very very dark and I know all about that, don’t do a John Mager when he said ‘Turn to the wall and start fighting’ but there are days when it feels like fighting with your backs to the sea and one recalls the Dunkirk spirit and the incredible air battle that followed it, in time of adversity I look to there example for inspiration, it has helped me in the past, keep going and good luck everyone.
Cruse when i rang didn’t seem interested in trying to help support me