@Martyn2 . The only time l rang cruze the lady needed extra training on bedside manner. all l got was ‘‘well its to be expected’’
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All i got told was sorry your wife hasn’t been gone long enough for us to help you. Then told me i had to wait 3months my reply was she passed away on the 1st February this year. Gave me a load of utter rubbish and ended the call.so no i wont be bothering with cruse ever again sorry
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@Martyn2 & @Lotswife I too contacted Cruse and MacMillan. Cruse never replied and I had to chase them up and I am now on a waiting list. MacMillan told me it was too soon and need to wait at least 3 months. I don’t understand this when we are in such despair
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Macmillan are useless.only thing they did was sort out Sue’s blue badge. Yet the macmillan nurse who worked with the palliative care consultant was absolutely brilliant .plus i found out that macmillan nurses are not employed by macmillan there employed by the local health authority .Will not bother with cruse
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@Martyn2 I too found the MacMillan nurse at the hospital was very good. I’m not convinced I’ll even here back from Cruse but will wait & see. There really should be more emotional help right from the start. The turmoil we are all going through on here shows there is a need for it. Sending hugs.
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I had to get my own private counselling which costs £40 a time. I am now seeing her less as feel it is quite repetitive now as been seeing her for 10 weeks.
I have also join a bereavement support group which is free with 11 other people. Not sure if it is helping but fills my time.
Every 3 weeks I see the well being therapist at the doctor’s who is brilliant. Remembers everything I tell her. She always ends with asking me if I have any thoughts in harming myself. I often say I don’t want to be here but too much of a coward and have my son of 22 so couldn’t hurt him.
I tried Cruz but never got through to them.
Just terrible that there is such a waiting list. Thank god for this site. X
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Thank you hugs back
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I’m struggling to find a bereavement group near me , but probably not looked enough . I going to go back to the doctors though . The councillor I had through a friend who was doing it FOC which was extremely kind sadly let me down a few times. I was appreciative that she was doing it for me but to leave someone grieving with not even a text to say she’s struggling to fit me in , I thought was pretty bad . She was texting me within 5 mins for an appointment on the Monday , never heard of her since.
Work have said they will sort one so we will see xxx
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@PollyjaneW that is terrible to let you down like that. Not good at all. Hopefully you will find one that will help you. Xx
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Hi @Hazel.1966 have you found the private counsellor a benefit? I have considered going down this route but wonder if they are too generic. I really want someone who specialises in bereavement. Preferably someone who has actually experienced the loss of a partner. Like we all keep saying on here, it’s only those that have experienced it that really understand what it’s like.
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@PollyjaneW there are only Cruse or MacMillan available in my area. They both have waiting lists and Cruse has pretty poor communication.
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@Jan17 yes I did as lost my husband suddenly and was very trumatic as found him dead and did CPR on him and I also have a lot of guilt issues. I have been seeing her for about 10 weeks but feel now that every 3 weeks might be enough for me now because I have now started a bereavement support group course which lasts 8 weeks. Sadly though the only thing I want I can’t have which I am finding very hard and not sure she can help me with this as still in denial which I learnt from the group could take up to 3 years. Xx
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@Hazel.1966 thanks for the reply. Maybe because of the traumatic circumstances of losing your husband it has been more beneficial. My husband had been battling cancer for nearly 4 years although only became very ill earlier this year.
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Hi, it will get easier, its coming up to a year since my beloved husband Ron died, and im ok, ive just had a hip replacement so ive had to focus on my own health, i talk to him all the time, tell him what im doing, achieving, but there are still those moments when im absolutely gutted that he’s not here, i dont cry so much now, but i do still cry sometimes, just out of the blue it hits me like a wrecking ball and i dont know how i got to a year without him, but i know im gonna be ok, wishing you strength to get through xxx
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@Jan17 I’m so sorry to hear that you and your husband went through such pain. Cancer really does sucks and I wish it would do one. my husband had to have a post mortem and died of kidney cancer which he didn’t know that he had as was never diagnosed. He was 53. Such a shock. Take care my lovely xx
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@Hazel.1966 I’m so sorry, your husband was very young and to not know he had cancer must be awful. Sending hugs
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My husband died also suddenly of advanced Kidney cancer. I thought he had a heart attack but the coroner stated it was Kidney cancer. He was sickly but we thought he had only a bad tummy bug. How wrong we were. My heart goes out to you, Hazel.1966 and all others. 
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Jan17 ask your doctor if they have a social prescriber .the lady at our doctors is very supportive and said if ever i needed to talk to her then just ring the surgery .she has been a huge help to me. I hope you get the issue resolved soon .hugs to you
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@Annaessex thank you and I am so sorry that your husband also died of kidney cancer. I been told that kidney cancer is a silent killer and symptoms are vague. It isn’t fair that our men didn’t get a chance to fight it. Life is so damn cruel. Sending lots of love Xx
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