@Martyn2 I too found the MacMillan nurse at the hospital was very good. I’m not convinced I’ll even here back from Cruse but will wait & see. There really should be more emotional help right from the start. The turmoil we are all going through on here shows there is a need for it. Sending hugs.
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I had to get my own private counselling which costs £40 a time. I am now seeing her less as feel it is quite repetitive now as been seeing her for 10 weeks.
I have also join a bereavement support group which is free with 11 other people. Not sure if it is helping but fills my time.
Every 3 weeks I see the well being therapist at the doctor’s who is brilliant. Remembers everything I tell her. She always ends with asking me if I have any thoughts in harming myself. I often say I don’t want to be here but too much of a coward and have my son of 22 so couldn’t hurt him.
I tried Cruz but never got through to them.
Just terrible that there is such a waiting list. Thank god for this site. X
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Thank you hugs back
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I’m struggling to find a bereavement group near me , but probably not looked enough . I going to go back to the doctors though . The councillor I had through a friend who was doing it FOC which was extremely kind sadly let me down a few times. I was appreciative that she was doing it for me but to leave someone grieving with not even a text to say she’s struggling to fit me in , I thought was pretty bad . She was texting me within 5 mins for an appointment on the Monday , never heard of her since.
Work have said they will sort one so we will see xxx
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@PollyjaneW that is terrible to let you down like that. Not good at all. Hopefully you will find one that will help you. Xx
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Hi @Hazel.1966 have you found the private counsellor a benefit? I have considered going down this route but wonder if they are too generic. I really want someone who specialises in bereavement. Preferably someone who has actually experienced the loss of a partner. Like we all keep saying on here, it’s only those that have experienced it that really understand what it’s like.
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@PollyjaneW there are only Cruse or MacMillan available in my area. They both have waiting lists and Cruse has pretty poor communication.
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@Jan17 yes I did as lost my husband suddenly and was very trumatic as found him dead and did CPR on him and I also have a lot of guilt issues. I have been seeing her for about 10 weeks but feel now that every 3 weeks might be enough for me now because I have now started a bereavement support group course which lasts 8 weeks. Sadly though the only thing I want I can’t have which I am finding very hard and not sure she can help me with this as still in denial which I learnt from the group could take up to 3 years. Xx
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@Hazel.1966 thanks for the reply. Maybe because of the traumatic circumstances of losing your husband it has been more beneficial. My husband had been battling cancer for nearly 4 years although only became very ill earlier this year.
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Hi, it will get easier, its coming up to a year since my beloved husband Ron died, and im ok, ive just had a hip replacement so ive had to focus on my own health, i talk to him all the time, tell him what im doing, achieving, but there are still those moments when im absolutely gutted that he’s not here, i dont cry so much now, but i do still cry sometimes, just out of the blue it hits me like a wrecking ball and i dont know how i got to a year without him, but i know im gonna be ok, wishing you strength to get through xxx
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@Jan17 I’m so sorry to hear that you and your husband went through such pain. Cancer really does sucks and I wish it would do one. my husband had to have a post mortem and died of kidney cancer which he didn’t know that he had as was never diagnosed. He was 53. Such a shock. Take care my lovely xx
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@Hazel.1966 I’m so sorry, your husband was very young and to not know he had cancer must be awful. Sending hugs
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My husband died also suddenly of advanced Kidney cancer. I thought he had a heart attack but the coroner stated it was Kidney cancer. He was sickly but we thought he had only a bad tummy bug. How wrong we were. My heart goes out to you, Hazel.1966 and all others. 
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Jan17 ask your doctor if they have a social prescriber .the lady at our doctors is very supportive and said if ever i needed to talk to her then just ring the surgery .she has been a huge help to me. I hope you get the issue resolved soon .hugs to you
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@Martyn2 thank you I will try that.
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@Annaessex thank you and I am so sorry that your husband also died of kidney cancer. I been told that kidney cancer is a silent killer and symptoms are vague. It isn’t fair that our men didn’t get a chance to fight it. Life is so damn cruel. Sending lots of love Xx
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@Jan17 thank you and yes such a shock. My poor son who is 22 was the one who phone me to tell me that dad my husband had collapsed. I miss him by 5 minutes and was home before the ambulance arrived. Hopefully you will find support soon xx
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I am so sorry everyone has had such a bad experience with cruise, to tell people to wait three months when they need support NOW is outrages and deplorable and if so they are no longer worth there carrot, what we need is a system across the country ware recently bereaved people can meet socially
as a group and that would be particularly good for people left on there own as isolation after a death is a large factor in the likely prognoses of a bereaved person, particularly older people, such groups should be run by the bereaved for the bereaved on a voluntary basis, even if its only a room ware people can meet once a week for a coffee and a chat(the less formal and the less strings from official interference the better but organisations like age uk may be helpful and may be worth talking to with a view to setting up a charity to help with this) any one with any ideas please feel free to comment, we need to do more to help ourselves and each other.
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Hi @tim007
It may be helpful to know that Sue Ryder has recently started our Grief Kind Spaces which are weekly, in-person drop-in sessions held in the local community and run by trained volunteers. The sessions provide a safe, informal and supportive place for people to come together and share their experiences of grief, helping attendees to feel heard and less alone.
The sessions are welcoming, inclusive and open to anyone who is over 18 and has experienced a bereavement, whether you want to attend regularly to connect with others in similar situations or just drop in for a quick chat.
You can find out more information and the locations on our website: Grief Kind Spaces | Sue Ryder
We are aiming to open many more in the coming months, but we have seven open at the moment.
We also offer a range of online bereavement support alongside this community and you can find out more on our website: Online Bereavement Support | Sue Ryder
Take good care,
Kate
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Thank you for flagging these new spaces. In the absence of good support from Cruise (which were also terrible in my experience) it’s good to see there are alternatives coming on stream.
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