Hi Tray…!
How are you now…? Are you feeling well…?
Thanks for you are going to say about me with your Indian friend.
What can I say…? My consultant gives me an advise to see a Psychiatrist for my problems. But, I hesitate to go for that.
How the life is going worse day by day…?! Every day is threatening me.
I cry myself for my current position…
You say that you are so struggling with every day life… The same thing is happening to me.
Okay Tray, Take care… see you in next.
Bye,
M. Karunakaran
Hi karunakaran.m,
Lovely to hear from you.
Yes, I’ve been having a few more difficult days with grief…sometimes it can go like that…feeling OK and then bang the grief feels like it’s taken over your mind…it’s uncomfortable as I’m sure you know.
My friend he is Hindu and a doctor , moved to the UK around 30 years ago …he has family in India and worries alot about them …he knows many that have lost family to covid in India…many times my friend has felt helpless.
You have seen a Dr? Would you not consider seeing psychtriast at all ? I can understand why this might be a big thing to do but could it help at all ? …it’s something to maybe just think about but no pressure as you know what’s best for you at the moment.
I’ve got a grief support group later and it does help a bit but grief is such a lonely place to be also and very very painful…but I will go there later…
How is your son and wife ?
Every day can be a battle but keep taking those little steps…one breath at a time…I know it’s incredible difficult…I’m always here if you want to chat.
Hope you find some comfort in your day…sorry short message as have to get out very shortly.
See you soon.
Tray.
Hi Tray…
I feel comfortable with your words…
Most of the people just passed the grief in short… They have recovered from it very shortly and easily mingled with normal life.
I think how they are living like that…? How their heart are made up with very hard…?
Days are going… But, still we have frozen at the moment we faced the loss.
Everything is struggling… Every moment is very sad… I could not fit with the life after the loss. People around me (Friends and Relatives) are not ready to understand my feelings. They are scolding me. They are ignoring my grief. They are saying that I am collapsing my family without coming out of grief.
The heavy traumatic changes have affected my current affairs. Who one is here to understand this…?
I am troubling that how i can bring up my family with this vast grief.
You are asking whether I met Psychiatrist…?
I hesitate to do this… I am fearing of Psychiatric drugs.
I come to know about your Indian friend Doctor… I understand his feelings… It is really very tough to live alone. Please, convey my regards to him. May I know his name and his hometown in India…?
Okay… Tray! Take care… Bye for now, and see you in next…
Bye,
M. Karunakaran
Hi karunakaran.m,
Lovely to hear from you.
Do you have email? I could send mine via direct message here, as might be better to correspondand that way ? Just a thought…no worries if not…I could say more about my friend etc that way.
My friend, he is from Kerala, both his parents live there and he has family and friends in Bombay too…he moved he to continue his medicine studies…he has not long recovered from Covid…we lost contact for many many years but nice to be back in contact …but we haven’t met face to face for a long time .
Do you have any good supportive friends?
I understand what you mean about how some seem to be able to move on / cope with grief better ,but who knows what goes on in someone’s mind …grief is different for everyone…it took me years to get to where I am now…when I was at your stage I was very poorly, I suffered with awful anxiety and low mood and was consumed by grief …it was horrendous! Those early months and years ,gosh were like living in hell…I now have difficult days with grief but can handle the inbetween days better but it’s still very difficult…grief is a pain like no other…it hit me when I realised I was an adult orphan…sometimes no matter your age you just want your mum or parents.
How is Covid in part you are ? The numbers are still very high in the UK…do you have any other friends in UK ? .
I’ve got to get to a appointment now but I really hope you have found - find some comfort in your day.
Bye for now,
Tray
Hi Tray!
Thanks a lot for your well care on me…!
It is nice to hear about your Indian friend… You mentioned that his state is Kerala. This is the adjacent state to me. My state is Tamil nadu.
Kerala is a wonderful land… It is denoted as “God’s own land”… Because, it is naturally flourished… Very well cultivated and cultured people are there…
Please, convey my regards to him
I have no friends in UK. My cousin’s daughters is working in London for two years in IT Industry by on-site mode. She may return back to India any time.
In India, Covid cases are growing very vast. But, one good thing is death rate is very low.
You said grief has taken you to get over for many years. But, my tragedy is I have no space at this life stage to grieve. Because, I need to settle my wife and son. All we are mentally struggling in our own. We are unable to exhibit our grief one to another. But, I am grieving… I am unable to get over.
Sometimes I am thinking of quitting our life only the pleasant way. Because, hereafter no one makes me happy like my days before with parents.
You feel that you are an adult orphan… It is a very painful word. I am also an adult orphan though I have spouse and son.
I have support group with friends and relatives. But, they are hopeless now that how to recover me from grief. They advise me to come out from grief. But, they are unable to understand my painful feelings and how to get over these.
Day by day I am losing myself.
Okay Tray… Bye for now and take care of your health.
See you in next
M. Karunakaran
Hi karunakaran.m,
Hello…I’ve just sent you an email so I hope you receive it 
.
I’m sorry to hear cases are still high in India but good news that death rate is low but other is still very sad…I remember you telling me you had the vaccine.
Have you always lived in same part of India? You have nice childhood memories? Please ignore any questions if too much , I only ask out of care and nice to learn more about you.
Your friends say to you to come out of grief, if only it was that easy ! I think grief is lifelong because our loved for our lost loved ones is life long too …that love will never fade …in one way we are lucky to have known such love for us to be in such pain and miss them so much…that saying " grief is the price we pay for love". It’s so very true.
I won’t say much more here as we now have email…or here if you feel more comfortable or wish…please let me know.
Hope things today are well for your wife and son and you of course, although I respect your days are so trying with grief.
Hold onto hope.
Sending comfort.
Tray.
Hi Tray…!
I have sent you a reply for your mail.
I don’t think you are not asking questions too much. That only makes very good friendship.
I welcome your questions.
We will chat with mail frequently
Bye,
M. Karunakaran
Hi karunakaran.m,
I’ve just sent you a email.
Tray.