My husband ashes are at home with us in a beautiful teardrop urn. My children and myself are not ready to scatter his ashes, we feel like he won’t be here with us if we separate some of his ashes also. We miss him so much it’s been very hard these 14 weeks without him. My mother in law is not happy tho as she has asked for some of his ashes, we have told her when we’re ready she can have some but I don’t think she is happy with that as we haven’t spoke now for over a month.
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Please do do rush into scattering ashes. I had my mums for over five years. When I scattered my son’s ashes after his first year anniversary, I also scattered my mum’s as I felt that both of them would be together. There is no time limit to keep ashes, so don’t be rushed into scattering them or dividing them. x
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My partner passed away last Oct. from cancer. She wanted to die at her brothers house in the country where its peaceful with no near neighbours. The house is surrounded by fields. We spent her last weekend sitting in the garden looking at the view so that’s where I intend to scatter her ashes. A footpath runs through the field around the garden so even in time if her brother moves I’ll still be able to visit the spot. She loved the view from here so I’m sure she’d approve.
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My husband died Nov. 2020, and he wanted to be scattered in Cornwall as he loved the place. We had already arranged a holiday last summer and intended to take his ashes with us, but couldn’t face doing it. So for now I have an oak casket at home. Still unsure what to do, don’t like the idea of dividing them, could put them in my parents grave, his own parents were scattered, but then I’m not doing what he wanted. So I think about it, then put off deciding. Sorry this probably won’t help you, but it’s a dilemma many of probably have. Xx
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Glimmer
I’m in sort of the same position. I know my John would want to be placed in our local crematorium gardens but when I went to look around, twice, there were no suitable plots. Plus the thought of placing him with strangers really upset me so he’s at home with me on his bedside cabinet. Not sure it’s a long term solution but it’s been one year next week so I’ll soon make a decision. I’m doing some work in the garden he loved so I may buy a lovely bench and place him close by. I just can’t let him go at the moment. I feel happier with him near to me.
I miss and love you so much darling 
George xx
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Awwww, I feel your pain Georgie, that’s how I feel about my darling too. I’ve just been telling him how much I miss him & how much I love him and want him to come and see me. I kiss his photo daily.
There is no hurry at all with the ashes, you don’t have to let them go if you don’t want to. Just do what is right for you xx
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Thank you all for your posts here. I’ve kept my husbands ashes for five years in a casket big enough to add mine to when the time comes. I’ve often felt as though keeping them isn’t the right thing to do as the family doesn’t have a grave to visit.
(I’ve written in other posts that they don’t visit me either, but that’s another thread.)
Your posts have made me realise that this is something I need to do for myself, not other people, so I will keep his ashes and feel less guilty for doing so until both of us can be interred in our sons grave.
Thank you all again.
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Thank you Janey. This is the one decision I am going to make. Since I lost John last Easter I have always said this was not just about me. My boys have lost their dad, my grandchildren their grandad, and John’s sister her brother. But this decision is mine and mine alone and if I take some
comfort from having him close, then so be it. My younger son is really suffering and thinks he should be laid to rest but he knows how much this means to me so has left it to me to decide.
Such a miserable time for me. Just want to get next week over with which will be one year on.
Best wishes
Georgina
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It has been really heartening to see these messages - that many of us don’t want to rush a decision. I did not think I would bring T to the mountains, but now I am here, his presence is so strong, all around me here, I think this is where they should come. It is difficult to decide- but it is good to know that I am not alone in just not knowing what to do. Take care everyone, loads of love, xx
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Hi Vancouver, I have my wife’s ashes at home, and have made arrangements to have mine mixed with hers when I go “we had agreed this”, I also have a yellow standing Rose for our plot, the problem is that I am 59 years old and could live for many years so what if my life changes?? So i will keep her ashes with me, if life does change and it is no longer suitable for us to go together then I will make a decision then but until that time they will be with me, we can never predict the future so my advise is keep them for as long as you need to then decide what to do, lets be honest there is no rush.
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Thank you, thank you - this is v wise advice.
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My Dad died three weeks ago and I am waiting for the call to say his ashes are ready. I find it really hard not knowing where he is, I just want to bring him home. He wants his ashes scattered at a local place, I am happy I know his wishes but selfishly want him at home with me. I’ve thought about having some of his ashes made in to a bracelet or something but feel guilty if he’s not all in one place. I will follow his wishes, i don’t know when, how do you know when the time is right? My thoughts are with you, I know how hard this is for everyone. I get great comfort from reading threads on here and I only found this forum yesterday but I’ve found it a real support in these dark days.
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Hi, mop48,
There is no hurry in deciding what to do with ashes. Some people decide to keep them at home close by, some decide to make jewellery as you mentioned, some scatter or bury ashes. And alot of people divide them.
My husband is scattered in the sea at Looe, a place he loved, but I also have part of his ashes scattered in our garden in a special area deciated to him, so he is always close by and I can talk to him while I am gardening.
Do what is right for you.
Love Debbie 
X
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Thanks Debbie, it’s really comforting to talk with others on here and hear others thoughts/ideas. Thank you for replying.
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I have just past the 1 year of losing my husband.
I had every intention of placing his ashes in the cemetery and even bought the plot when I arranged his funeral, it’s a double one for both of us.
One year on and I can’t bear to leave him there on his own and don’t think I ever will.
His ashes box matched his coffin, a beautiful pale blue with all his favourite photos printed on it.
Its very comforting to still have him beside me in the lounge, he is placed on a side table with his photo.
When my time comes we will go in our plot together.
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Hi there, good morning.
I too intended to place my husbands ashes in the local crematorium but after two visits and checking out the plots available. I still have his ashes on his bedside table with a photo of the grandchildren. It only takes a spoonful of ashes to put them into jewellery. I had a heart made for me and John’s sister and wear it all the time knowing he is close. I do take comfort of him being close by so I think he’ll stay with me in the garden he loved. Trust me, whatever you decide to do will be the right decision.
Much love
Georgina
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Thanks all for your response to my thread. I get great comfort from posting in here and that means a lot x
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My husband passed away from terminal cancer 2 months ago. He had done some research himself about options for his ashes and he found a company that will carry ashes to the edge of the atmosphere and release them back to earth, so he’s scattered in the wind. Not the most conventional option! I’m not ready to do it yet but once I feel the time is right, I will contact the relevant company to organise it.
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Amanda, that sounds lovely x
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Hi I’m struggling with what to do . My dad died 2 years ago and still waiting to scatter his ashes . But with covid haven’t been able to .
My mum died back in January this year and now have her ashes as well ?
I would like to plant a couple of trees but not sure whether to bring them home or leave at the funeral directors?