I am in the same dilemma as you, Tim and I were planning to downsize as the last of our children have just brought their first home, he wasn’t ever attached emotionally to houses and this is too big for me but I can’t leave it at present as I can see him everywhere all his things are where he left them as he walked to the ambulance for what we believed would be a few hours.
I have decided if I don’t know what to do IE the house, the car change jobs it’s best to do nothing.
Trying to live this new life we didn’t want is hard and exhausting and so so lonely, even when my daughter and grandchildren are here I feel so lonely.
Hi
I am lonely even when my daughters are here with their partners.
I feel robbed of years with my husband as we were just retired and now I am alone.
The hospital experience was a nightmare as he battled the virus and the way he caught it was through people not following the rules so I felt I am living through a total nightmare made worse by the timing of it as the vaccine arrived and now things are opining up.
I honestly feel that the universe has been against us.
Does anyone else feel like this ?
Lynn xx
Hello Lynn
I hate this hell hole I am in now
Can’t stand to do anything I wanted to move the first few weeks off
Andy passing but now I feel safe here my comfort blanket
I call the home now
Yes it far to big for me on my own but I look around
At everything Andy did it hurts like hell
I haven’t tried any tablets yet did have sleeping tablets
But got drunk and took my sleeping tablets all 6 off them
Slept for 2 days I don’t trust myself
When I am in a dark place I would do it so best I keep off them
But they do help some my GP as been very good I am under mental health doctor now and cruse don’t know if it helps
If I am honest nothing helps other than are husbands and wife’s being back with us
Please take care xxx
At the moment, I can’t imagine not being in the home that was ours. So many memories and I feel as close to him as I can without him being here. In the future (whatever that is now) I don’t know.
Hi lynn, sorry for your sad loss. After the funeral i felt like i wanted to move as i could see mel everywhere in the house, plus all his bits. Looked at few places but missed the connection that i had with him. House feels calm and serene. Although it is empty without mel, i think it helps me in a strange way. I’ve cut grass and done flower pots as he would love the garden looking nice. I am trying to make him proud of me, and although most day i an a quivering wreck, i carry on. So i am staying put, enjoying my memories, even though i am distraught at times. If i moved i wouldnt be able to see him up shed tinkering or sitting at the table. Plus there is a lot of things in this house that he has done. You must do what is right for you. Its a big decision. Xx
Hi Lynn. I lost my husband 16 weeks ago and have also had thoughts of moving because I am two hours away from family etc but I also know it’s still early days and it’s such a big decision to make that I think I would wait at least a year . I would hate to do anything that I regret.
I was thinking that even if I did move I would still be lonely because the one person you want or need cannot be with you .
Hi Lyn,
It’s so hard getting through each day.
Mornings are particularly difficult as the empty pillow speaks volumes.
I started suffering from anxiety after six weeks and was finding it all too much to deal with.
My doctor was very understanding and prescribed me Sertraline, the first few days were a blur but after a few weeks, it’s helped take the edge off.
It doesn’t take the emotional side of things away but I’m functioning better.
It’s only a prop and not forever.
I hope it works for you.
P
Hi Lynn.
I am taking anti depressants and can honestly say I could not cope without them. They do not make me feel ill or drowsy but they definitely take that awful edge away. I have come off them and I have had no side effects except feeling so sad and lonely again. I manage better in summer so I avoid them then without problem. I can’t see the purpose of struggling so badly if there is something that works to help me I won’t be on them forever. They are not addictive. You don’t even know why you feel better but you do. Some people don’t agree with them but then they take lots of medication for other symptoms, so do what is best for you. Xx
You’re not rambling AngieJo – I feel the same way you do ---- I hate Sundays - they are so dull, boring and at times put a dark cloud over me.
Take care dear lady!
Herb (aka greencat1950)
Hello.
I lost my beloved husband last June, and I do plan to move. To my mind, my husband is in my heart and when I move, he will be with me, where-ever I go. We have to do what is best for us. That is what they would want.
Hi,
I think you are doing remarkably well considering all you’ve been through.
It’s a long tedious journey and we all struggle to find our way.
I to am on anti depressants and I see them as a prop.
It takes the edge off of everything xxx
unlike all of you l lost my husband of 30 years to mesothelioma he was only 60 years young he died 07/12/2020 i to wish I was with him hate shopping on my own dreading the lockdown finishing as we went and did everything together I moved home as I hated and dreaded coming home to an empty home I still have days crying as i look at his photos and say why didn’t you take me with you I miss him so much he died a horrible death no one should die like that hugs to you all
@Lorra5 I also lost my husband to mesothelioma on the 16th of December . He was diagnosed on the 17th of November and was given 12 months but it was so aggressive that he passed within four weeks. We had the inquest and it has been put down to Industrial Related through London Fire Brigade x
Hello kimG so sorry that you lost your husband to this horrible disease my husband was given 18 months and he fought for 18 months it was also work related as he was a Labourer for a slating firm such a shame that your husband died only 4 weeks after diagnosis they should still be here sending you hugs x
Can’t cope without my soulmate.
Cried lots today.
Yesterday was a ‘just about cope’ day as I mowed the grass and cleaned kitchen, all the time thinking of my Marti.
I have counselling once a week and see my friend once a week and my boys still live at home and are company.
But, I can’t cope I’m so lost without him.
I wish I wasn’t here, I don’t want this life.
Warm hugs to you all
Amy x
